to have been sarcastic back towards this mother who said my.dd looked overweight.

[watchoutforthatsnail]

Her son is tiny. 6 years old and in age 4-5 clothes. She was complaining about how little he eats and How he needs to eat all the time.
She said I wouldn't know becase my dd is overweight.

Dd is not. She is the height, and consequently weight, of an 8-9 year old child.
The doctor is happy with her. She eats pretty much everything put in front of her, all home cooked meals.swims once a week. Rainbows. Dog walking everyday. In the park, bike riding. Scooters etc.

So, I commented it must be very hard to have a child that won't walk more than 200 meters. Or do any physical activity. ( he doesn't, there is nothing physically wrong with him)

Ffs, where do people get off?

The whole exchange was utterly undignified.

You proved that you could be just as infantile and ill-mannered as her.

Well done, you must be very proud of yourself.

I hope to God neither of your children overhead their parents demean themselves in this way.

Ive already said I was probably wrong.

Dd is 127 cm and turned 6 two weeks ago.
So, I have had the comments for a while
Her dad is 6ft 5. His side of the family ( including the women) are all over 6 ft.

I'm 5 ft 3.

I can't change her size, she's never going to be a slip of a girl and since she is stocky, she's sort of a Miranda build. Not fat, just big all over. But she's strong ( pulls the full wheely bins down the drive), fit and.healthy.

I do know those facts about the Weight and exercise. Because she told me.

Anyway. Yes, it didn't feel comftable. I'm not one to usually.speak out when someone offends me, but had resolved to do so.

I shall go back to smiling then going home seething..

It doesn't matter if your daughter looks like Kate Moss or Beth Ditto, it does not make your comments about the the child any more palatable.

To be honest, if I had snapped back like that, I'd have kept it to myself and silently resolved to be mature next time.

You do realise you've not made yourself look too good here?

It's really hard to know what to do when someone says something unflattering about one of your children.

Saying nothing isn't right, it makes you feel terrible.
Saying something back of the same ilk reduces you to their level.
Saying "did you mean to be so rude" I can't imagine ever saying that to someone in real life!

TBH I just tend to avoid people who say stuff like this. Maybe take that approach in future.

Meh, I'm only human. I don't behave impeccably all the time.

Those that know me on here know I'm.not mean, or horrible.

I have said 'did you mean that to sound so rude' in real life Sardine. It works because it allows the person to say 'god, you are right that sounded awful' .

I use it on my mum a lot

Age 6 in year 4-5 clothes doesn't sound tiny to me.

I'm not saying that I wouldn't have done the same and it is a very human reaction to leap to the defence of your own child, but I would have felt so wretched afterwards.

I shall avoid her in the future, that option wasn't there when I got stuck walking up the road with her.

Saying ' that's a.rude thing to say' is quite confrontational I feel.

I just commented back, to the same level she did to me, with a smile on my face. Wished her a good day then was off.
And was obviously not comftable with that, hence this post. Because I'm not a horrible person..

I did. Hence this post. Where I've been raked over the coals.

And saying it to your mother, is quite different to saying it to a school gate.mum who you don't usually converse with.

Also, I.dont think she even noticed I was being sarcastic towards her. I left, she would have stood nattering..

It isn't 'that's a rude thing to say'

It is 'did you mean that to sound quite so rude?' which allows them to think about what they have said to you and tone it down or apologise.

And I would rather ask a direct question of an adult, seeking clarification of what they had said to me, than tit for tat.

I don't only use it when talking to my mum.

I think they would have a field day if I said that. Most of them already think dd and I speak weirdly.
One mum commented on this the other day. Dd had been at hers, rather than say she doesn't like something, dd had said she wasn't.very keen on it. The mum seemed to find it.hysterical. ???

Blimey, how odd?

Why did they find that funny?
You will have to practice nodding and smiling

So you would rather sink to her level and make personal and possibly hurtful and offensive comments about her child than sound a bit odd? And surely making a snide remark about her child is far more confrontational than asking if she meant her comment to sound so rude.

i know

Can I cling to you Hully. Like a life raft.

It's one of those times Paggy. When they open the gates and let them roam free for a bit.

Yes, blimey would also draw attention.
:)

Quite why I'm not sure.
I dont know why. Dd and I talk about not being mean and hurting peoples feelings ( in spite of how it may seem from this morning) and how sonetimes people hurt feelings when they don't mean to.
So, rather than say ' I don't like.it' she.says ( having come.up with.this herself) I'm not very keen on it.

Apparently It's strange and.she talks.just.like me. Which means they think I speak strangely.
I did smile and nod on that occasion.

Then came home and.decided if they were going to.make digs at me, I.would make them back..

You sound utterly charming.

You also sound like you "protesteth too much" about your daughter's weight, because this thread shows it clearly is a huge issue for you.

I would also try and be careful not to fall into the trap of saying "she's always going to be taller/bigger because her dad....." because that is blatantly not the case.
(my Mum is 5ft 4, my dad is 5ft 5 and I am almost 6ft, dp is 6ft 2 and dd is 8 but generally in clothes for 6 yr olds and is the shortest in her class- see? The anecdotal evidence of one person doesnot a universal truth make)

«offers Hully silken rope»

Hully and pag, now you are being offensive.

Ive been on mn for nearly 7 years. But think what you Like :)

Actually, you are starting to sound completely paranoid. Weight, bullies, now because they think you speak strangely????

I think you need to calm down.

Why.all.the.full.stops?

Do you have a notsofarking smartphone like me?