to have been sarcastic back towards this mother who said my.dd looked overweight.

[watchoutforthatsnail]

Her son is tiny. 6 years old and in age 4-5 clothes. She was complaining about how little he eats and How he needs to eat all the time.
She said I wouldn't know becase my dd is overweight.

Dd is not. She is the height, and consequently weight, of an 8-9 year old child.
The doctor is happy with her. She eats pretty much everything put in front of her, all home cooked meals.swims once a week. Rainbows. Dog walking everyday. In the park, bike riding. Scooters etc.

So, I commented it must be very hard to have a child that won't walk more than 200 meters. Or do any physical activity. ( he doesn't, there is nothing physically wrong with him)

Ffs, where do people get off?

It's threads like these that always make me wonder what outcome the OP was predicting when they started the thread.

watchout, I know she hurt you by being rude about your child and I can sort of understand why you bit back, but what did you think MN was going to say? I'm sure you weren't expecting praise were you?

Not the way I would have handled it but, I have a dd who is tall for her age and I've had lots of "your dd is big" type comments, to which I reply "no she's not big, she's tall".

My dd is off the chart height wise, and has always been in the top 3% of children for height, there are others in the class who are especially small for their age, and to me they're tiny in comparison, but I wouldn't say to their parent, "isn't your ds tiny".

So in summary, I know how annoying it is, but you have to have a stock of responses available which allow you to maintain the moral high ground with people who feel they have a right to make these comments.

It sounds like she touched a nerve for you to have responded the way you did, and to be justifying your DDs size as much as you are here.

Seriously, does it matter what shape/size anyone is? Children grow at different rates and genetics play a huge part - my DC are tall & skinny, the exact build of their father, one eats loads, the other doesn't - seems to make no difference!

You both sound as bad as each other, and both over sensitive about your DC size.

Well I didn't think you were being unreasonable, op, unless you said it in front of her son. I am quite childish though.

I mean it does matter if they are unhealthily obese or underweight, but there's a huge range of what's normal at this age.

Tesonesugar

My sister used to use 'no she's not big, she is tall' too

I do not understand how you know her boy does no physical activity and will only walk 200m.

Sorry, very brief thread derail - TeaOneSugar, can I PM you? I have a very very tall, strong 2 yo DD and I'm already starting to get comments. Systems of dealing with it so she doesn't get paranoid would be very helpful.

As you all were.

My 2yo DD is quite small for her age (about 10th percentile height and weight as she has been since she was born) and random strangers/friends are always commenting on it. "she is too little to be walking", "she is too small isnt she", or "has she got a problem" are particular favourites. I always respond with "thats an incredibly rude thing to say, did you mean that" which usually shuts them up.

It was rude of her to say that and not very nice, but the right thing to do is to point out her awful behaviour, not to criticise her little one.

Oh don't listen to this lot, she sounds awful. Get her told to shut up and make her child do some exercise. lol

falls about laughing

All this prissy crap just annoys me. There's a woman like this at our school and one of these days I'm going to go all fishwife and give her a bollocking, 'cos she bloody well deserves it.

Good for - YANBU

I'm the opposite, my kids are both small, DS is 4 but he still fits in 2-3yr clothes

DD is 8 months and i'm forever being told by mums ''oh she's the size of my 3 month old...she's so tiny''... like i'm depriving them of food. When I mentioned to one mum that DS was only 4lb when he was born she actually tutted and said 'were you trying not to put too much weight on then' I was literally speechless

I do get sick of it sometimes and think FFS what's with this competition with kid's sizes, they can come in lots of shapes and sizes but as long as they're healthy and happy what's it to you

I'm sure your children will just love that.

The children weren't even there..
She isn't a child either, but saw fit to say What she did.

My post was too Kytti.

I did.say it all with a smile. It wasn't fish wives at.dawn.

I know he does no exercise because she has Been vocal about it, he can't/ won't do pe as he feels too weak.

You shouldn't have been rude about her son.

You should have just chinned her one.

HTH. xxx

sadly whilst you may think there is nothing wrong with her DS it is not normal for a 6 year old boy to feel too week to do any physical activitity and to be tiny despite eating all the time. I would suggest that she is desperately worried about the situation and that her DS has an undiagnosed condition causing this which needs urgent investigation. He will be totally left out and miserable if he cannot join in any games or exercise with his peers.

muffin, I think a lot of parents are sensitive over remarks regarding their DC's weight, size, proportions. You see threads about DC's size regularly on mums eat or threads relating to size such as childrens' clothes size.

In real life I personally here a lot of talk about children's weight. When my 4 year old was a baby there was constant talk of weight, people discussing whether you'd had your baby weighed. Now at school people do talk a lot about size.

Op the mum sounded very rude....I can understand why you would bite back but definitely should've left the child out. Poor child probably has to listen to her blab on about her size all the time!

I agree, I think there is something wrong with a six year old who hasn't.gained any weight and is too weak to walk to school.

However, I would never say anything to the mother about it. Its rude.

She did to me, I tried to brush it off. She persisted snd I bit back.

I know people are going to comment. Dd is bigger than most. I have no issue..the doctor has no issue. We have no food problems and shes exercising all the time. The clothes that correspond to her height, fit her waist..

'net' not 'eat'

I get this all the time. Very tedious. I even get stopped in the street and asked why my son isn't in school - "erm, because he's only just 4 and doesn't start until September" (not that it's any business of yours, muttered under breath). Yes, he's tall (114cm) and he's wearing 5-6 years trousers but FFS he's walking around with a 5'10" mother!

Having said that my partner has a 7 year old daughter wearing 9-10 years clothes whose mother refuses to acknowledge that she is overweight and will only look to buy her age 7-8 clothes which obviously are too small. She is only average height, barely taller than my son, but weighs twice as much and is clearly overweight.

Why can't people see the difference between tall and heavy?

I expect this woman is very worried her child and she's probably rather envious that you havesuch a healthy child. I think you're being unreasonable in this case but I understand why.

Please op, please try and decide what you think is appropriate behaviour without constantly excusing how you behave because she did it first. It is grating because it is so unbelievably childish. And I keep hearing my mother saying 'so if she jumped off a bridge would you have done that too'.

I am with bumpy. Respond how you want to her. Just don't be snide about a child who sounds in difficulties and then make excuses about that.

Pagwaatch is right. She was rude, and you chose to take yourself down to her level. Saying, in effect, 'but she did it first' is very childish, and reflects badly on you. I think you know that, which is why you are being so defensive about it.

And continuing to make nasty comments about this child is making you look worse, not better. You don't know that he is 'too weak to walk to school', and his size, and whether or not he puts weight on is no more his fault than your ds's size is his - so stop it, now.

YANBU. Well done for thinking of a suitable response. I would have seethed and then thought of a suitable response later on.

It sounds as if you just want reassurance about your daughter's weight, OP. Nobody can give that to you. I would watch that the 'overweight' doesn't become added to, it's very easy for that to happen.

'Overweight' is not a name being called, it's a term, albeit that you weren't and aren't friends who would accept this sort of conversation. Stay away from her and she'll stay away from you... god that sounds exactly what you'd say to children.