To want DH to ask his dad if he would consider lending us some money so we can afford the deposit on a house...?

[josben]

hi, just wanted a general opinion on this... we are currently between houses (staying with my mum) and we probably need to borrow an extra £5,000 to afford a 4 bed house that we have seen in the town where we live.

But having paid off debts and moving expenses we are roughly £5,000 short of being able to afford a house we want... But DH does not want to ask his dad, and I can't ask my mum as she has no spare money...

I would rather not have to do it but if we don't I feel we will never find a house... we have been looking for 6 months!

We have never asked for or have been given any money from his dad before ...

Josben - be realistic, buy a 3 bed house that does not stretch you to ruination point but that does have potential to extend into the loft for a 4th bedroom when you have the capacity. It's expensive having 3 young kids - in a very few years your salaries may have gone up a bit, childcare costs down, and you can create your 4 bed house without incurring further stamp duty, and also you will end up paying less council tax - hopefully a 3 bed house will be in a lower band, and the band doesn't increase for houses you extend or improve while you are living in it.

Sharing a room isn't the worst thing that can happen to a child - pass on your DH's 'stand on your own two feet' to your own children and move out from your mum's!

5 years is a quarter of my mortgage term and had we been able to over pay £700 a month for 5 years we would have cleared 25% of the mortgage and saved £100,000 in interest so hopefully it wasn't any of you that posted in 2007 saying "interest rates will rise I should fix if I were you" because i'd like to kick you if it was
The truth is nobody knows what will happen but you cannot look to the past to try and predict.

Good for you, Taken. On the other hand, my SIL and her family (incl 3 kids) upgraded from a pokey 3-bed new-build to a sprawling 5-bed house with grounds, cos her dad (who's been a property investor in the past) saw the value in her putting her money into a more valuable home with (a lot) of help from him. She'd have got the money anyway when he died so his logic was why not let her have it now when she 'needed' it. You can feel v pleased with yourself for managing on your own, but I can tell you, it isn't giving my SIL any sleepless nights to have had a helping hand!

No not the past but what is happening now. Low rates are only relevant if your mortgage is linked to the BoE base rate most banks set their own and that is being seen more and more currently.

I had financial help for a depostit.

BUT

MIL offered us the same amount she had enabled BIL to save by allowing him to live at home hrough his 20s paying minimal rent.

AND the money was so that we could get a better mortgage deal by having a larger deposit. We could afford the house on our own anyway. We put aside the difference in what the mortgage repayments are and what they would have been to give to MIL. This way it should be repaid over the 5 year fix of the mortgage but MIL is happier knowing that we have access to the money should we have need of it rather than the bank having it as interest.

TBH if you have been at your mum's house for 6 months without saving anything towards a bigger deposit then I for one would not be inclined to lend you money until you could show that you were capable of saving. How would I know that I would get it back otherwise?

And yes, of course a 4 bed houe would be nice with 3 dcs but hey ho you cut your cloth to fit your circumstances and if you can't afford one in the area you want then you either move area or buy a smaller house.

Heswall, do you remember the 1980s? Thatcher? Ridiculously high interest rates in the middle of a recession?

Don't be fooled into thinking that politicians will never put the rates up, no matter what. I know people who lost their homes during that period. I wouldn't want the OP to be in that position if it happened again.

Honestly, whether the money is available or not - go for the smaller house and the smaller financial burden.

You've spent the last 6 months paying 420 + groceries and you're skint? I didn't even know fortnums still delivered by chopper.

I don't remember the 80's but I do hear the war stories from those who do and they all seem to agree that most people were actually unaffected by it because most working people didn't own their own houses and were in secure council acomodtaion.
It is different this time due to the fact that very many of the families who lost their houses in the 80's actually ended up better off, given a council property which they then bought for 40% of the market value.
I believe if the plan was to let the market crash it would have happened by now.
Not saying don't be sensible but £5k, come on that's neither here nor there most people send that on a holiday.

I believe if the plan was to let the market crash it would have happened by now

The market is being propped up by the low interest rates. For that reason I'd get a very affordable house, rather than a bigger right now.

I must live in another world ive never spent 5k on a holiday I think sights need to be set lower on houses etc its all I want I need these days , yes i know i sound a right misery guts but i do think that the wanting is what gets people so much in debt that they end up stressed and ill with worry how they are going to pay the mortgage if they fall on hard times , but hey as long as the kids have a bedroom each eh ,

Plenty of people owned their own homes in the 1980s and had big mortgages relative to their salaries. And not everyone who lost their homes ended up in nice council houses

And I have never spent £5000 on a holiday!

People didnt get given council houses in the 90s because people bought them up in the 80s there is no social housing to fall back on now .

Well you are missing out, my children have their own bedrooms, all 4 of them, we used to spend at least £5k on holidays, when they weren't at private school, it's true the combination of the two makes it difficult.
We don't earn mega salaries at all, I wonder what some people do with their money

dont go on 5k holidays thats for sure , we went to florida and didnt spend that

I will own up to having borrowed money from my very dear father both times I have bought property (no mansions here, just a two bed terrace) to help with the fees/stamp duty. I have paid this back though and we did save (just not particularly well off due to paying for ivf treatment a few times too). It was very appreciated and I do know that I am very lucky to be able to do that and that he has the spare cash.

Heswall - Repossessions were high in the 80's Lots of people bought their council houses. And unemployment was very high. Your friends are lucky they weren't really affected.

The difference imo with the 80's recession is that it was mainly working class peopel affected. Most middle class people were affected by high interest rates, but unemployment was still low amongst the middle class. It is different this time around with many middle class people being made unemployed as well.

Wow, I'd love to live on Planet Heswall where £5k is neither here nor there and you have a five bed house yet do not earn a mega salary.

"We don't earn mega salaries at all I wonder what some people do with their money"

[chokes on dry bread and water]

Heswell you must earn a decent salary if you can afford from your non decent salary school fees and 5k holidays , you earn a good wage not everybody can afford that and dismiss 5k as pocket money as you did , unless i bunged it on a credit card i havnt got a spare 5k down the back of the sofa

Exactly Lesley, where will every person who has bought a house since 2004 if made unemployed move to if repossessions hit the levels of the 80's ? There are no council homes at all, immigration levels have also rocketed, I do not believe that anything will happen to cause mass repossessions, frankly the housing market is about the only market this country has, financial services, if that fails £5k for an extra bedroom would be the least of everyones worries. Tin hat anyone ?

Heswall it is alarming that one so clueless has access to so much disposable income.

No, I quite clearly said that the £5k holidays don't happen whilst paying school fees.

It's either or (counting the days until fees are no longer required)

Heswall you are hugely misinformed

Well we shall see, time shall tell.
I'd have a hell of a lot more disposable income as stated earlier if I hadn't listened to many on this board and on that note I shall leave you all to your doom mongering.

Heswall - I guess it depends on your definition of a mega salary. If you can afford school fees you are quite clearly well off. But you may be thinking of mega salaries as £200k while everyone else is seeing mega salaries as £60k?

Heswall - With your circumstances I do understand your cynicism about interest rates rising much. But what is more likely is redundancy or illness.