"14 year olds should remove all pubic hair" **MNHQ adding quote marks as per request**

[TowelRailing]

My daughter reckons this is what all teenagers do. If you agree, please vote YANBU. If you disagree, please vote YABU.

It's her body her choice and aslong as it is her choice its nobody's business. I used to at her age because my boyfriend at the time preferred it so maybe check her boyfriend isn't pressuring her into it otherwise mind your own business

It's not a new thing.

There is social pressure on girls to remove their pubic hair. Whilst on an individual level the choice might not be driven by porn, the overall social pressure has coincided with the increased prevalence of porn. So the individual choice is related to the rise in porn, however much the individual might not think so.

This. When I was 14/15 I can’t imagine my mum even knowing what I was doing in regards to grooming pubic hair.

It's a bit perverted in itself to be so concerned about perverts, we should be allowed to discuss these things, especially if it directly affects you

The only person it directly affects is the owner of the pubic hair

It is their body, their business their decision. Right!
But it isn't is it? It is peer pressure or mild bullying which is partly influenced by advertising.
Assuming that this is all genuine, It is right and proper that parents support their children to resist being manipulated.

Sadly my daughter 14 was bullied by boys in her class for being " a hairy beast " she is dark haired but absolutely beautiful inside and out. I brought it up with the school who did nothing about it only tell her boys like to tease girls they fancy. She came home and took my razor and shaved her arms and legs . I had the whole talk with her that body hair is not something to be ashamed of but the damage was done . She doesn't shave her arms anymore but does shave her legs , but she enjoys the feeling of them being smooth so I let her make her own choice. It's an awful time for young teens to be growing up in

I agree that teenage girls mostly don’t get the option to make up their own minds, because they are hearing the story from one side - the side that says it’s normal to remove public hair. People say ‘everyone can choose’ but you can’t choose if only half of the story or argument has been presented.

These things are cultural. When women in their 50s were teens, women had bikini waxes so ounces didn’t stick out, but removing everything wasn’t the norm or considered more hygienic. Many women still don’t remove pubes.

I think there’s an age before which, kids should be ‘natural’. Most mothers feel uncomfortable if an 8 year old wants to shave their legs or a 13 year old wants a boob-job. The idea of girls who’ve just grown pubic hair seeing it as something that needs removing, equally doesn’t feel quite right.

I think we have to accept that many of the current cultural norms have their roots in porn. It doesn’t mean everyone who removes pubic hair is intereted in porn, but it’s naive to think there’s no connection between todays trend and porn. Given 14 year old girls won’t be revealing their bits to anyone for a while, why do they need to remove the hair, even if later that’s what they want to do?

I guess the question is really whether we as mothers are discussing it with our DDs as the age they start getting pubic hair and several times later, and making sure they really do hear the different options.

It's not a totally free choice for them is it? Girls who choose not to shave are also choosing persecution.

I think adult women can forget how horrible teenage boys can be and how strong peer pressure can be. Is it really a free choice, if boys at school call girls ‘hairy beasts’ ? Are we helping our DDs to be their own person or to confirm for an easy life?

Merseymum - I don't agree, if my daughters are going down the route of pornifying their bodies, it's no longer just about them

It’s their body their choice but no one should feel pressurised to remove body hair unless THEY want to.

My son started shaving his public hair when he was about 16. He didn't have a gf so it was purely his choice - I realised as he didn’t rinse the bath afterwards 🙄

There’s absolutely no right or wrong answer - personal choice

Well neither can I - but only because I was a teen in the 70s and removing pupil hair was pretty unheard of then.

I read this in as a mum would show her daughter the poll result “look, 95% of adult females on this thread said you don’t need to this isn’t the norm” not a troll.

Do they really ‘prefer’ to do this or do they feel compelled as a result of pressure originating out of the porn industry. And it is not all is it? It is girls.

It's a bit perverted in itself to be so concerned about perverts, we should be allowed to discuss these things, especially if it directly affects you

Nice try. But no, it’s not perverted to be concerned about actual pervs. I’m not even sure of your ‘logic’ there. Mumsnet should be responsible about this.

Teens are not interested in the views of other parents. Most snigger about “mumsnet” in particular. The general media perception of MN is middle class uptight mothers of a certain age.

They are influenced by their peers.

There is a burgeoning movement to accept/ embrace female body hair and it is very much driven younger women.

However the world we have created for today's teens remains largely misogynist and porn influenced. Even if you don't think porn is the reason for what you personally do, porn has shaped the wider society in which you exist. It is impossible to untangle one's own notion of personal choice from this and hard to imagine living in a world without female objectification.

I'm a raging feminist but still take part in female grooming sometimes. Other times I don't. But I'm old enough now to give less fucks. Like all of us your DD has to navigate a world where her body is under scrutiny every time she leaves the house.

I think if she wants to do it then she should . Ad a duly woman I choose to do it because I prefer it , I’m assuming all this young girls will know some of their mums do it too and with summer approaching there is pool , beach etc so peer pressure will be a thing

Yup, but that wouldn’t stop a mum trying to do anything to help protect her daughter.

You and your daughter are perhaps unaware that at least half teenagers are male, and uninterested in removing their pubic hair. Add that to the number of teenage females who don't remove pubic hair and I reckon your daughter is going to fail GCSE Maths.

There is a burgeoning movement to accept/ embrace female body hair and it is very much driven younger women.

Yes I have noticed a few hairy armpits lately. I think it is a good thing.

How are you planning to police pubic hair removal with a 14/15 year old daughter?

Promoting your views on societal pressures for teens? Fine
Controlling their intimate grooming habits and feeling entitled to inspect their bodies? Not fine.

Yep. Totally happening. My daughter is now late 20's and this was the norm when she was fourteen, it is not a new phenomenon. Had a mother/daughter conversation at the time about why this is a bad thing (porn induced sexualisation of young women etc). Sadly, due to peer pressure, it fell on deaf ears.