"14 year olds should remove all pubic hair" **MNHQ adding quote marks as per request**

[TowelRailing]

My daughter reckons this is what all teenagers do. If you agree, please vote YANBU. If you disagree, please vote YABU.

(sorry hit send too early) ...and not having hair down there made it easier to feel cleaner. So not sexual for me at all, quite the opposite lol.

@RestingGrumpyFace

I remember watching a documentary about petites shopping habits and these volunteers were fitted with eye tracking glasses. Both sexes . And both sexes regularly checked out the opposite sexes shoulders, bums and genital area. It's literally what we are designed to do, we scan other people bodies ALL the time. Even when shopping for beans. We women aren't even aware we do it most of the time . But it's a very real thing, we do it for our safety as well as potential mates etc.

Agree

Not my pubes, not my decision

@lightinthebox have you ever used a communal shower? It's not quite the same as a changing room situation where everyone is towelling dry and then turns away to get dressed. The communal showers I use are in a big U shape and when everyone is stood washing themselves directly opposite you, it's impossible not to notice, even without 'looking'. Unless I stare at the floor or hold my hand over my eyes, I'm going to see naked women and equally I know they'll see me. If I wasn't ok with that, I wouldn't use the shower.

I can understand with the summer coming up that she might want to tidy things up so she feels comfortable in a swimming costume or bikini. Doesn't really seem like a big deal.

I don't like it but most do it, I think. Sometimes it's better to reinforce the "your body, your choice" message even when you don't like the choices.

DD and her friends (all around 14) strongly disagree with your DD. They do legs and arms if they have PE but that’s it.

Only when she can explain why such a practise which is harmful seems so popular

At 14 I was removing all my pubic hair but it certainly wasn't with any sexual connotation, I just preferred it the way I prefer shaving my legs! Every teenager is different of course but it may be worth considering she doesn't want to remove it with a sexual connotation attached to it, At 14 my mum let me do what I want with my body as she felt it was an appropriate age (minus piercings/tattoos obviously!) but with hair removal she felt I was mature enough to make my own decisions. Again every teenager is different but I certainly wasn't removing it for anything other than I like being hair free and it's still the same today.

I discussed the feminist/porn aspect with DDs. They agreed - toxic beauty culture, most men engage in a tiny fraction of the grooming women and girls do, the ongoing expense, unfairness, ingrown hairs, you name it. We had a good talk.

And then I left them to do as they please, as no one said they needed to be on the right-on feminist side of every single choice ever. They can choose one thing now and another later. It's just hair and it'll grow back.

Tbf I'd rather shave pits and bits than legs and arms. There's no reason for the latter but there can be a valid reason for the former.

I think it is very important to teach teenagers to make their own decisions rather than just doing what everyone else does.

Withe respect to the pubic hair, I think it’s pretty normal to want to experiment, and that’s fine. But it’s good to debunk myths about being cleaner, more attractive, more feminine or whatever. And I think it is sadly necessary to explain that it is related to porn and paedophilia. It is a personal choice, but it is made in the context of over-sexualisation of society.

No idea of the agenda behind this thread?

Can you explain what you wanted to achieve op?

If I told my 14 year old “the consensus on Mumsnet is..” it would add zero weight to a debate for them.

If your dd has asked you to buy her a razor then buy one, and show her how to use it safely (on her legs for example) shaving with the direction of growth to avoid ingrown hairs.

Let her make her own choice.

It's up to them. Their body, their hair, their choice. I don't think its the norm but then it isn't something I'd walk up to a teenager and ask them so who knows.

'Everyone else does it' has never been a valid reason for anything but its not exactly a tattoo or something. It's not permanent, hair grows back. And it's so itchy and uncomfortable when it does that I doubt she'll do it twice.

I don't get how mumsnetters would be in a position to vote on whether all teenagers remove it or not. How would we know? Uncomfortable thread and click bait title.

The valid reason isn't 'everyone else does it', to be clear.

I think most do. I think I did around that age too. I felt cleaner but it's important she knows it's not an expectation

Why do you think Muslim men have shaved theirs for hundreds of years?

It is NOT cleaner to remove public hair, it's there for a reason.
https://www.avantgynecology.com/2020/09/03/the-benefits-of-keeping-your-pubic-hair/#:~:text=Your%20Pubic%20Hair%20Serves%20a%20Purpose&text=It%20provides%20protection%20against%20friction,Sexually%20transmitted%20infections.

I didn't say it WAS cleaner I said it FEELS cleaner.

Again, what they do with their own genitals is NONE OF OUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS.

How deeply depressing.