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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To kick up a fuss at school on Monday re: show club?

86 replies

Ingles2 · 03/02/2012 17:30

So, Ds2 is in yr 6...

His junior school runs an after school show club, run by one of the teachers. Ds2 has attended this club, every friday since he started the school, four years ago. He is quiet, well behaved and not a brilliant singer (tone deaf imo) but we'll get to that.
Historically the biggest parts have always gone to yr 6, then 5, down the school until all parts were filled.
Fair enough. ds2 has waited patiently over the years, droaning singing in the chorus, having a word or 2....
So the parts for this years production were handed out today...
Guess what Ds2 got?
Nothing!
No part at all!
He comes out of school in tears, off I go to see teacher...
Where is Ds2's part, I say,...he's in yr 6...
Well yes, says teacher, you don't understand how difficult it is to cast these things, he might get a part by Easter if some other child drops out..
Teacher and I obviously not happy with each other.
now imo, these show are pretty rubbish,..this teacher always attempts things that are far too difficult, think Joseph, Bugsy Malone. it would be much better if he put on something simpler, where the dc could actually learn all the words and sing confidently, instead of staring lie zombies at the OHP.
But he takes this way too seriously and I'm guessing he didn't want Ds2 because he's not a good singer.
Surely he could have found him a small part? ds2 says there are small, speaking only parts.
Anyway, he's really upset, I'm livid upset too...
Am seriously tempted to see head on Monday...WIBU?

OP posts:

ShatnersBassoon · 03/02/2012 17:35

That does seem unfair. They should have found something for him to do onstage even if his abilities would preclude him from a starring role.

I wouldn't bother the Head with it, but I would suggest to my son that he might not want to attend the club any more as it's a fruitless exercise.

LadyWidmerpool · 03/02/2012 17:41

That's a poor show after four years, poor DS. I can't think of anything to suggest except to tell him that the biggest stars all had their share of knocks and there will be other chances. Maybe you could sign him up with a local youth theatre which has a more professional approach? My local youth theatre puts on brilliant shows and is very nurturing of individuals.

Original poster

Ingles2 · 03/02/2012 17:44

Thankyou ShatnersBassoon I'm glad you think it's unfair too.
Ds1 is home now as well and is indignant on DS2's behalf
I think I will see head.. ds2 is always overlooked... he didn't have a part in the yr 6 nativity either... one of about 8 in a year of 74 not in it.

OP posts:

Original poster

Ingles2 · 03/02/2012 17:46

I know! Ds2 is not going back.. and teacher won't have realised yet, or probably until the week before the performance,.. that he has no parent to run the interval teas! ha!
(muggins and dh have done it for last 2 years)

OP posts:

peekabooby · 03/02/2012 17:47

That does sound unfair, dc school don't have a show club but they do have end of year show. All Y6 have parts every year.

BumFunHun · 03/02/2012 17:56

That is so harsh - OP YADNBU...your poor DS.

Fair enough, he's not a great singer so a lead/singing role may never have been something that would happen; but if there are speaking only parts, he should really have been offered one of those. No wonder he (and you) are upset!

Attending this club weekly for 4 years should show the teacher running it that your DS is dedicated, and wants to participate - and at the end of the day, they are kids...participation and increasing confidence should surely be the main goal?

Marymaryalittlecontrary · 03/02/2012 17:59

I'm a teacher and I think that's very poor on behalf of the teacher. I would definitely tell the head - he or she might have no idea that the teacher is excluding certain children even though they have waited patiently on the sidelines for years.

I would be asking "are there some behaviour issues with my son during the club that I haven't been informed of? No? Then why is he being punished? For 4 years we have watched as Year 6 children get the best parts. That is fair, and we were happy with that. But now my son is in Year 6 so it's his turn. I understand that not every child will get the best part but I do expect him to be given A part." And then see what the head says!

aldiwhore · 03/02/2012 18:03

I think with a good drama teacher/club leader you can attempt complex productions but tweak them so everyone feels part of it and valued, even if its just a line or two.

I remember in primary we did all sorts of whole school productions, the headteacher rallied troops to paint the whole back wall of the 'big room' (classroom/hall/dining room all in one) in a magnificent mural... every single child had one line, main parts were shared (yes we had 5 dorothys!) and they were wonderful, every child was valued.

It isn't about talent at such a young age, though talent should be fostered AND its much easier if you can rely on a few kids to deliver the most entertaining lines well.... every child should feel valued, its not hard really in theory, but it is a skill and a fine balance in practice. If you produce a boring play/production, parents are the biggest critics!

You've done the right thing and YANBU.

blueemerald · 03/02/2012 18:07

Please please please go and speak to the Head along the lines of Marymaryalittlecontrary's post. My heart is breaking for your son and any others in his year/future years who may suffer the same treatment. This situation risks your son learning that there is no reward for commitment or dedication. I would also mention that you think that the "director" is a little ambitious (perhaps not good enough for am dram himself?)

manticlimactic · 03/02/2012 18:10

Well yes, says teacher, you don't understand how difficult it is to cast these things, he might get a part by Easter if some other child drops out..

That suggests that he is excluding your DS and not even considering him because that sounds like he has already chosen the cast for the Easter production.

melezka · 03/02/2012 18:15

This is awful, really awful frankly.

If the club is for showcasing the most talented kids in the school and the parts are awarded with this in mind, then the club should audition for members and this should be made clear from the outset.

Anything other than this should be all or nobody. I've done community shows run by genius directors, quite famous ones, who quite happily found things for players with cerebral palsy, deafness, fairly severe LDs, all sorts. The lighting guy had severe tics making lighting fades a thing of excitement and anticipation. These are some of the best shows I've ever been involved in, in terms of quality as well as all the other outcomes, and they weren't hugely funded. The teacher really needs a very sever reminding of what drama in this situation is FOR.

melezka · 03/02/2012 18:16

severe sorry angry typing

c0rnsilllkrunninglikealaydee · 03/02/2012 18:23

very unfair - poor ds
If it's a club then all the members of the club should have a chance to participate. Otherwise what's the point of being in the club in the first place?

Original poster

Ingles2 · 03/02/2012 18:37

Thank you everyone, you're making us both feel much better...
I should have guessed this would happen really,... Teacher has always very obviously had favourites.
Couple of years ago, there was a boy in school who had a really beautiful voice... He was the star of everything every carol service, play, harvest festival, whatever, there he'd be, singing his solo.
Fine, to start with, always a pleasure to watch him, but quite frankly, I'd rather see a variety of children and abilities. It is only a common or garden state junior after all.
Shame for Ds2 though cos weirdly he has a lovely, musical speaking voice, even if it is very quiet.

OP posts:

Rhinestone · 03/02/2012 18:39

This does seem very unfair if it doesn't correlate with what's happened in previous years.

I think you were right to go and see the teacher but I would also follow it up with something in writing, cc'ed to the head, explaining your upset as you have to us.

RandomMess · 03/02/2012 18:43

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr let us know how you get on. I'm sure he could have found him a speaking part - narrator for example!

Mishy1234 · 03/02/2012 18:43

Sound very unfair.

The whole point of these things is to include those who want to do it, no matter what their abilities are. He's not putting on a West End show, he's doing a school production. Obviously there are going to be children who have natural talent and that's fine, but the skill (for the teacher) is to include everyone and make them feel valued.

I think the teacher concerned is missing the point OP. Your son is clearly very keen, has put the hours in and has been incredibly patient. He deserves better and I wouldn't hesitate to highlight that.

RuleBritannia · 03/02/2012 18:46

We had a drama club at our grammar school. I could act but never got a speaking part. My starring role in Pygmalion was to be the one who pulled the surtain ropes!

Matches · 03/02/2012 19:02

YANBU

This wasn't a club for G&T only, it wasn't a club where you had to audition, it was open to everyone

Sure, talent is (usually) necessary for a career in The Arts , but you don't get far without dedication, hard work and tenacity

Your DS may not have the best voice, but he has enthusiasm, consistency, dedication and the ability to work hard and to keep turning up week in week out without having had a part in the last 4 years

The teacher should be encouraging THESE qualities as much as natural talent, not just because they are important for a long career in show business, but because they are usually respected qualities in life.

And besides, as you said, your DS has a good speaking voice, so why can't he get a speaking part?

melezka · 03/02/2012 19:04

Rule that is why I think Ingles should speak/write to the head teacher. I don't know anybody that has forgotten (or in some cases, forgiven) anything about their school play.

Please let us know how you get on.

anniekins · 03/02/2012 19:21

Don't give up straight away and pull your son out of a club that he's clearly enjoyed being part of for 4 years.

I'd send the teacher an email on Sunday evening (when you'll probably be a bit calmer and a bit more measured) asking him to reconsider his decision and find a small speaking part for your son. I'd point out that you appreciate he doesn't have the best singing voice but he would be over the moon with just a small speaking role and that this will be his last chance as he's year 6, whereas those in Y4/5 will get further chances in years to come. Cc Head Teacher.

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 03/02/2012 19:23

Original poster

Ingles2 · 03/02/2012 20:14

Cheers Pom

Sincere thanks to everyone else though.... Got to be honest, this might be the final straw for us and this school. Have been seriously considering pulling him out and Home Edding until Sept when he starts at the comp.
He's always been at bottom end of average with some SEN (dyspraxic, dyscalculic) he's quiet, slips under the radar easily.. never had any problems with ds1, who was bright and vocal, never had to go in at all.... so this had been a struggle tbh

OP posts:

DeWe · 03/02/2012 21:09

I think I'd just query whether he:
a) is the only year 6 without a part
b) any younger ones have a part

If the answer is yes to either of the above then I would go in fairly aggressively. If the answer is no to them both then I would go in quietly and explain how much it would have meant to him to have a part.

Original poster

Ingles2 · 03/02/2012 21:13

DeWe there is one other yr 6 boy without a part, all yr 6 girls have parts and there are girls in yr 5 and yr 4 with major parts.
I know the other parent, so I'm planning on giving her a call tommorrow, see what she wants to do.

OP posts:

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