To kick up a fuss at school on Monday re: show club?

[Ingles2]

So, Ds2 is in yr 6...

His junior school runs an after school show club, run by one of the teachers. Ds2 has attended this club, every friday since he started the school, four years ago. He is quiet, well behaved and not a brilliant singer (tone deaf imo) but we'll get to that.
Historically the biggest parts have always gone to yr 6, then 5, down the school until all parts were filled.
Fair enough. ds2 has waited patiently over the years, droaning singing in the chorus, having a word or 2....
So the parts for this years production were handed out today...
Guess what Ds2 got?
Nothing!
No part at all!
He comes out of school in tears, off I go to see teacher...
Where is Ds2's part, I say,...he's in yr 6...
Well yes, says teacher, you don't understand how difficult it is to cast these things, he might get a part by Easter if some other child drops out..
Teacher and I obviously not happy with each other.
now imo, these show are pretty rubbish,..this teacher always attempts things that are far too difficult, think Joseph, Bugsy Malone. it would be much better if he put on something simpler, where the dc could actually learn all the words and sing confidently, instead of staring lie zombies at the OHP.
But he takes this way too seriously and I'm guessing he didn't want Ds2 because he's not a good singer.
Surely he could have found him a small part? ds2 says there are small, speaking only parts.
Anyway, he's really upset, I'm livid upset too...
Am seriously tempted to see head on Monday...WIBU?

xxcozxx Why do you presume OP's child is talentless? An assumption on your part. I agree with you, that some of the kids/parents on X-Factor have been pretty extreme (talentless and deluded). But, this can't be compared.. as in assuming OP is a pushy blinkered parent like them.

(I can tell you, I've met a few... 'little johny has only 3 lines' and something like 'nobody puts baby in the corner!!!') But OP is completely justified to be annoyed about this. As someone said earlier, this is an extra curricular club, not the RSC!

Hi Everyone... Thanks to those that have been supportive...
to some of the others.
Just wondering if you're reading a different thread to this one really, cos I'm wondering where I've said that I'm pushy or getting upset that ds2 doesn't have a main role?
Not being into drama / singing / music etc myself, we've done absolutely nothing to encourage ds2's interest in this. He has chosen to attend this club, and lets be honest it's not a major deal, just 45 mins on a friday afternoon straight after school.
And who said he was talentless? He's not a singer at the moment, that's true, but who said he can't act? He's got a lovely speaking voice as I said, and I don't know if he can act, because he has never be given a part, in anything not in this, not in the nativity, nor in the harvest festival, despite the fact he's attended show club for 4 years!
Ds2 totally believed that he was going to get a part this time, he said teacher had said "good" when he did a reading, so he was totally confused and upset when he didnt, especially as all the parts have gone to Yr 6 in the past!
Well, I'm not letting this pass, I'm still furious for him and I do think the teacher is a mini Nazi
in answer to questions...
Yes, the children have always sung from the OHP! I always thought that was poor as they only put on 1 performance a year, and you'd think they could learn the songs,... but then I thought I was just expecting too much, not having the 1st clue about these things.
The teacher plays the piano and does all the musical stuff for the school... it's well discussed that he's a control freak and doesn't want any outside help at all... He has never had any help with performances which is probably why the sets aren't very good, the costumes are basic and the kids still sing from the OHP. A shame because there are a couple of really arty teachers I think.
Will ds2 be in the chorus?,... it hasn't been mentioned, but I would have thought so.... but there is no way on earth I'm letting that happen! The last 2 years the chorus has been yr 3 only... i'm not letting him sit there, humiliated and embarrassed, no way! This is the end of bloody show club...
however, his new comp, has a performing arts specialism, so if he wants to take up acting, I've told him, that's the place to do it!
Thanks again for you posts.. and I'm sorry this is an essay

oh and if anyone wants to give me a clue what to say to the head on Mon, that would be fab
I get very nervous infront of teachers/heads so don't tend to speak to them often. Am slightly worried I might burst into tears

As I said upthread, (am a HT), be calm and collected , make few notes before you go in, do not, repeat do not invoke other children or parents' situations, talk about your DC only, say you appreciate it's difficult, you are sure the teacher didn't mean to upset your son, but is there anyway he could be given a part after being committed to this club for so long, stress what it will do for him (confidence etc), do not talk about how it feels for you (sorry but sometimes parents come in and talk exclusively about themselves and how they feel about a situation, which is understandable but not as helpful as presenting the child's point of view). Be very smiley, try not to cry but don't worry if you do, good luck.

Also think of two or three outcomes that you would be reasonably happy with and suggest them (saves HT having to think on a Monday morning!) e.g shares a part with another child, sings duet instead of solo, does welcome at start or thanks at end, all things that don't mean another child having to lose their part. Then you come acros as mrs reasonable nice mum who is concerned for all the children etc, much harder to say no to you!

YANBU. Your poor DS. Agree with everyone who has pointed out it isn't the RSC or preparation for a career in the arts and is supposed to be fun for children.

Good on DS1 for being supportive too.

Thanks Both, especially christine for all your ideas.
Over the weekend, Ds2 has decided he wants nothing more to do with show club, and I can't say I blame him really.
In his words "I've better things to do on a Friday after school, like play on the ps3" A shame, but I'm not going to make him take part. He knows there are plenty of opportunities at his new school.
I will see the HT tomorrow, but just in a letting you know kind of way. Perhaps this will give her the heads up that he should have some sort of part in the leaving ceremony (doubtful)

Ingles that's sad but understandable that your ds doesn't want to go to the club anymore. Still see the ht and make your points, it could still be sorted and he could have a part. The school needs to know its got this wrong...

Such a shame, is there any other local equivalent he could join that would take an interest, realise the advantage of this one is its in school, but just wondered.

I guess the teacher probably has "better things to do on a Friday after school" than give up his own time to run a club and then find parents whinge because the shows are "pretty rubbish", at the same time moaning that their child does not get a big enough part.
Two evenings serving tea in four years versus Fridays week in week out? A bit of appreciation might make you sound a litle less graceless

one small, but vital correction bream it's no part ,as opposed to big enough part.
and I would have happily helped, but he never asked.

Ingles2
I have a similar issue with DD and after school "Clubs", one of which seems to have turned into an invitation only hothouse for future Got To Dance contestants
My theory is (I think) the same as yours -child enjoys and activity, child takes part in activity, child is happy.
My tactic has been to approach the school and ask them how I am to explain to DD that she is "not good enough" to take part in said activity.
Also, a few choice words about school inclusion policy have helped.
IMO its singing and talking, they may not be great at it but they enjoy it, so let 'em do it!!
Good luck

It's pretty disgraceful. All the schools around here have a year 6 "show" of some description where every child who wants to gets a part, yes you want those who can sing peforming solos but they've always done a performance that involves plenty of non-singing roles too for exactly this reason.

Its really bad the teacher doesn't even care enough to make them learn the words. I did joseph when I was 10 and I still remember the words now err... 24 years later!

This is so unkind, and you are quite right to take it up. Clubs like this should be building up experiences and confidence in ALL children, the very talented ones actually need it less! And I totally understand what you are saying about the poor quality, we would surely rather see everyone involved, happy,and not brillinat, rather than an elite few put on something gold plated. All you were saying is this isn't a case of an elite few anyway, so there is nothing to ruin by just getting everyine involved. I can't quite see why others didn't understand what you were saying, I guess they did understand, but just like pretending they don't!

I think I'd drop in a little note for the head in the morning. Something like "ds was so sad at the weekend because he didn't get any part at all as a Y6 in the show. He's less upset now tht we have all spent a lot of time at the weekend boosting him and being empathic. As you are aware he has some SEN and I am so disappointed that the last year of Show Club appears to be ending like this for him.

Please could you spare some time later today or tomorrow to meet with me if possible to discuss the impact of the decision not to include ds as a performer in the show.

Best wishes"

OP.

I knew of one poor lad who was given the part of a bush! No words, no singing...he just had to stand there and be a bush!

What a shame that he doesn't want to do it anymore (although I can't say I blame him) :(

Who is this teacher, Mr Bloody G?

For me part of the joy of seeing kids do a show is that they're not all perfect, stage-school children. DD was in our panto this Christmas; although we audition for our amdram plays the rest of the year, it's an unspoken rule that anyone who wants to be in panto gets a part - it gave her an enormous confidence boost to be given some lines to speak and a 'named' part, even though she was dancing out of time with all the others and can't sing to save her life... and everyone thought she was brilliant. Because she was, she really rose to the occasion and obviously was loving it.

I'm annoyed on your behalf for your DS, OP. Hope that short-sighted mean prat of a teacher doesn't put him off for good.

Good luck Ingles, hope you get your point over and that the HT has some empathy.

Let us know how you get on.

Thanks for your support everyone
last night dh I decided that as I probably would either cry or rant, that it would be better to send an email, which I've done.
I basically said, that we thought commitment, dedication and patience should be rewarded on a par with talent and ability.
Dh also reminded me that in our last progress meeting with the head and class teacher, I said that Ds2 was frequently overlooked and teacher suggested show club would be a good place for him to shine this year!
Anyway, I'm now on tenterhooks and will probably spend the day constantly checking emails . I'll report back when I hear something.

We had the same sort of experience with a village drama club, Ingles2. Both DS's gave up on it as the cliqueyness just wore them down. Your son's better off out, it'll just undermine him even further if he keeps it up ... DS2's off acting for life but DS1's hooked up with a nice inclusive school drama club and is thoroughly enjoying himself ( he can't sing for toffee, either! )

Hi Ingles

Fwiw I am without talent in acting or singing! When iwas in our year 6 play I had to prance out onto the stage and joyously announce "here come the dancers"
I was thrilled to bits! Did my rubbish acting affect parental enjoyment? Of course not but I was so delighted I had 4 words to say!

I think all children should be given a chance regardless of how good they are (esp. if they go along to a club every week) If your ds still isn't very good at acting after 4 years of practice it doesn't say much for the teachers teaching skills!!
I hope you get some joy from the school.

No response to the email today. I thought I'd get an acknowledgement at least.. Not impressed.

The head has a school to run, and probably today has very many kids overexcited because of the snow; your child's participation, or lack of it, in the production, is probably not high on her list of priorities.

Or she may be finding the time, despite more pressing duties, to make a very exhaustive investigation into the whole disgraceful matter and will be in touch when every aspect of the issue has been thoroughly explored.

Could be Bream but in the meantime, A quick oneliner, saying I've got your email, would've been good.