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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To kick up a fuss at school on Monday re: show club?

86 replies

Ingles2 · 03/02/2012 17:30

So, Ds2 is in yr 6...

His junior school runs an after school show club, run by one of the teachers. Ds2 has attended this club, every friday since he started the school, four years ago. He is quiet, well behaved and not a brilliant singer (tone deaf imo) but we'll get to that.
Historically the biggest parts have always gone to yr 6, then 5, down the school until all parts were filled.
Fair enough. ds2 has waited patiently over the years, droaning singing in the chorus, having a word or 2....
So the parts for this years production were handed out today...
Guess what Ds2 got?
Nothing!
No part at all!
He comes out of school in tears, off I go to see teacher...
Where is Ds2's part, I say,...he's in yr 6...
Well yes, says teacher, you don't understand how difficult it is to cast these things, he might get a part by Easter if some other child drops out..
Teacher and I obviously not happy with each other.
now imo, these show are pretty rubbish,..this teacher always attempts things that are far too difficult, think Joseph, Bugsy Malone. it would be much better if he put on something simpler, where the dc could actually learn all the words and sing confidently, instead of staring lie zombies at the OHP.
But he takes this way too seriously and I'm guessing he didn't want Ds2 because he's not a good singer.
Surely he could have found him a small part? ds2 says there are small, speaking only parts.
Anyway, he's really upset, I'm livid upset too...
Am seriously tempted to see head on Monday...WIBU?

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 03/02/2012 21:19

OFGS - not every child is shining star .... its something he enjoys, let it be...... you run the risk of having it all cancelled due to your PFBing.

now imo, these show are pretty rubbish,..this teacher always attempts things that are far too difficult, think Joseph, Bugsy Malone

nice Hmm

FWIW these show are cycled out - and are the staple of the curriculum - a teacher can only work with the material given. I thoroughly enjoyed both shows - but there is a 120 strong choir attendance in a 2 form entry primary.

Actually - now imo, these show are pretty rubbish,..this teacher always attempts things that are far too difficult, think Joseph, Bugsy Malone... how fucking dare you call primary children rubbish?

SiamoNellaMerda · 03/02/2012 21:29

I kind of agree with trois - If your ds isn't talented then it's a bit off to keep pushing and pushing and telling him it's everyone else's fault. Ok - maybe fault isn't the right word, but if he's got no aptitude for performance then surely it's up to you to find something he's better at to boost his confidence?

maybenow · 03/02/2012 21:35

i know how gutted you and your ds must be but i am not sure why he was encouraged to persevere with musical theatre if he really can't sing at all (and for you as his mother to have noticed, he must not be a singer!)

i am also crap at singing but love musicals. i have had years of fun as a stage manager, producer and sound/lighting.... which is exactly what your ds should have been encouraged into.

could you approach the school about 'technical' roles? or about doing more drama/stage that doesn't involve singing?

c0rnsilllkrunninglikealaydee · 03/02/2012 21:38

I don't agree that only the talented/musical kids should be allowed to perform. If that is the case then the club itself should be selective. It's possible to include all members by being creative and writing extra parts in.

BendyBob · 03/02/2012 21:46

After 4 years of turning up it wouldn't hurt too much to give him a part surely, even one where he's singing along with others rather than solo if singing is the issue. Poor ladSad

It's an after school club not the RSC. They're being a bit precious about it.

c0rnsilllkrunninglikealaydee · 03/02/2012 21:49

exactly - all it takes is a bit of creativity.

Original poster
Ingles2 · 03/02/2012 21:53

i haven't pushed him at all,... he signed up for this club himself through school, attends directly from school, nothing to do with me at all other than turn up and watch the performance.
So what do you suggest I do? Tell him not to attend because he's not a good singer? FFS he's 10! Who am I to say, he won't develop a singing voice...
Besides it's not just musicals!
and it's not the children I'm calling rubbish trois it's a teacher with delusions of grandeur thinking he can impress by attempting something far far too grand and over the top.
By the time of the performance, imo the dc look totally rehearsed out, as I said zombies staring at the OHP. But I haven't pulled him out before, because it was entirely his decision.
He wanted to be in it and who am I say to say he couldn't.
oh and if you have a 120 strong choir trois, sounds like everyone is included, shame same doesn't happen here.
And as for telling him it is someone else fault siamo, what are you talking about? It's not been mentioned before, it's never been an issue before, and they don't only put on musicals, it could just have easily been a speaking part in a play.
I've had nothing to do with show club other than to turn up and serve tea twice in the last 2 years... I certainly didn't expect ds2 to be excluded though, because as far as I'n concerned, primary is meant to be all inclusive isn't it?

OP posts:
christinecagney · 03/02/2012 21:53

Ingles don't ring other mothers, school will likely accommodate reasonable request from one parent but will have to turn down mass action. Be discreet and sort your child. I am a ht and can often accommodate one parent request for x or y or z, but always say to such parent, be discreet, if everyone asks it will have to be no to everyone. So see ht, sort issue for your child, then keep quiet.

christinecagney · 03/02/2012 21:57

No that I agree with how school have set up the situation to start with, any sensible teacher is scrupulously fair about how parts are awarded over the years and they seem to have forgoten this crucial bit of teacher-lore , but once the decision is made they can't swap lots of kids around so keep the discussion to what can be done to accommodate your child.

maybenow · 03/02/2012 22:00

i'm not saying you should have pulled him out ingles i'm saying the school should have given him a different role (non singing, maybe even non performing) but i am saying that if you approach the school you should not be insisting he gets an on-stage part in a musical if he is not a good singer.

melezka · 03/02/2012 22:01

I'm quite sad that people think that children of 10 who are not "good" at things should be told to give them up. Especially things where "good" is a rather subjective opinion.

troisgarcons · 03/02/2012 22:01

oh and if you have a 120 strong choir trois, sounds like everyone is included, shame same doesn't happen here

No, thats the choir, Y1-6 ...... that would be from 360 pupils (2X30 per year group) so 120 from 360 are choiral. So imagine the angst of those teachers picking main parts .....359 other parents to offend rolls eyes

Not every child can have a lead part. Some children will always be in the choir. MOST parents accept that and lead their child accordingly with regard to expectaions and mangement of feelings - that they are doing something they enjoy and its usually fun for the parents to attend. Apart from the frikking mardy ones who want a lead roll for their precious..... because they've serves tea twice in two years.

and it's not the children I'm calling rubbish trois it's a teacher with delusions of grandeur thinking he can impress by attempting something far far too grand and over the top.

I suggest you write to the DofE and tell them their curriculum is shockingly shit

c0rnsilllkrunninglikealaydee · 03/02/2012 22:02

troisgarcon this is a club - it's extra curricular

FlightRisk · 03/02/2012 22:06

This is a massive contrast to DS's school.
DS has a slight stammer and is in speech therapy. School encourage him to be in drama club to help him build up his confidence in this, ok he doesn't get massive parts (fizzy in busgy and an evacuee warden) but he's getting better and his confidence is growing.

It baffles me how some schools work.

I would definately be taking this further if it was my DS.

This is DS's second school his first one the head teacher was the sort that prefered the nuclear family (I'm a single mum). All the good parts went to the children of the families she was paly with.

I hated that stupid headteacher she always insisted on calling me Mrs no matter how many times I told her I'm a Miss!!!

FlightRisk · 03/02/2012 22:07

Trois not all school are as big as that.

DS's first school was his new school only has 7 children in his year 5.

demisemiquaver · 03/02/2012 22:10

trois seems to be almost deliberately misunderstanding OP's perfectly reasonable comments

Original poster
Ingles2 · 03/02/2012 22:15

I don't understand what you are on about trois I didn't expect him to have a lead role, just a role of some sort.
He's done the time, he's put the effort in, teacher has now decided to change the rules.
And as Cornsilk said, this is not the curriculum, this is an extra, it's a club of 50 total, with about 12 per year group.

OP posts:
peekabooby · 04/02/2012 11:18

The OP isn't upset that her ds doesn't have a main role but that he has NO role. fgs she just wants her ds to be included as the children in Y6 have been every other year.

xxcozxx · 04/02/2012 13:00

What's the point giving the kid false hope if he's completely talentless? I'm sure the performance is designed to be enjoyable for the audience and to showcase the children's talents....placating this child and his overbearing mother will achieve no such result.

It's children with parents like you, OP, who grow up to be humiliated on the X Factor. Let him find something else he's good at.

confusedpixie · 04/02/2012 13:11

Do it and stick up for him if he has worked hard for it the past few years. I still remember my Mum telling me that 'these things happen' when I got kicked out of the school choir in year 6 after four years of attending religiously three mornings a week for missing three sessions due to tonsillitis appointments. These things really can knock their confidence, especially in the time before such a big move (into high school)!

Vickles · 04/02/2012 15:06

I run After School Drama Clubs at a number of schools in Gloucestershire... and everyone, I mean everyone gets a part. Everyone gets a chance to 'shine', and everyone gets to 'sit on the sidelines'. That's life, and that's what Drama Clubs should be offering, is those all important Life Skills. But.... patience is always rewarded, despite ability or experience.

I'm sorry, but this teacher sounds like a complete nazi! (No offence intended.)

I am completely with Marymaryalittlecontrary..... Spot on!

Please don't let your little one be too disheartened.. there are other drama clubs out there. And, it sounds like it's really his thing.

Fingers crossed you get something sorted... and just so sorry your little one has been treated this way....We're not all like that...xxxxx

Vickles · 04/02/2012 15:14

xxcozxx Why does your comment need to be so harsh?

If you'd read OP's post properly.. you would have seen that it is common place for Yr6's to have not just main parts.. but 'a' part in the show. And, OP's little one has not been given a part at all!!!

And comparing this to X-Factor? Per-lease!!!

cardibach · 04/02/2012 15:15

So, is he not even in the chorus/choir this time OP? Is he excleded from performing completely? If so, that is really crap. If he is able to be in the show but not singing solo, though, that is a different matter. Not everyone can be a soloist.
If the teacher can't manage productions like Joseph and Bugsy without everyone looking like a zombie or looking at words on an OHP ( Shock - I don't think I have ever seen a performance, whether infant, primary or secondary, where the children haven't learned the words) I'd be concened at her ability in drama. Is this a club she has been pressured to run with no actual interest or experience? I know many primary schools who have done these, and harder, shows extremely well.

xxcozxx · 04/02/2012 18:10

vickles, im hardly comparing it to x factor just pointing out the extent the delusions of talentless children can lead to when they have pushy, blinkered parents

c0rnsilllkrunninglikealaydee · 04/02/2012 18:12

You've been watching too much reality TV

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