Unclean..unclean..I am wearing the leper's bell..no one likes me in the village

[taxiforme]

AIBU to be so f*ing angry for being "rejected" by the village book group?

I am trying to "make friends" in the village I have moved into. Thought I would join the local book group via a friend that I had made who was a member and I kind of knew in passing the other members as their kids are friendly with my DH's kids...

Ohhh they go out for curries, they drink wine, sometimes they read books.

On saying I would pitch up for the next meeting I was told "oh no..I will have to put it to the other members"

..eh?

I am now told that "they feel they have enough members and cannot accept more"..there are EIGHT of them.

I feel so rejected and unwelcome but suspect that this is the work of the "XXName of the VillageXX Mums' mafia".

I am not a member of this sacred sisterhood. I work full time and don't wear Boden or Birkenstocks and have never been to Centreparcs..also I am a bit common. I have been seen in ASDA. I have a bit of an accent, too. I was asked if I was from "the North country" the other day.

What to do? Set up my own group sacred to the memory of "Princess Daisy" and "flowers in the attic" with a bit of jackie collins and bridget Jones thrown in? Or buy some flat ergonomic sandals, an overpriced flowery skirt and pay £1200 to sit in the rain in a wooden shed in Wiltshire as an effort to blend in?

Fight? Or resign myself to drowing in a well of loneliness of puffa jackets and John Lewis samples?

Right this is my last idea organise a huge village party, (Iceland prawn rings, Sara lee gateaux .... The works) invite everyone from the village, when the book group arrives simply force them all to sit in a circle and read 'stars - the Mick Hucknall journey' whilst everyone else dances to girls aloud and gets pissed on Lambrini. That will fix their pretensious wagon.

Jumping on Bump's bandwagon...I notice you live in Wilts Taxi. I don't, but as near as dammit. And I'm as common as muck. So if you do start one I'd love to come as long as there are curries attached to this one too

I work full time

'Tis the Kiss Of Death in village politics.

You could shag all their husbands - you get your revenge eaten hot, it takes less time, costs less, and far less irritating small talk is required.

Alternatively, join the book club in the next village or nearest town if you are of a literary bent.

Leave them to their pettiness and rise above it - I'm sure their "rejection" smarts - but their ignorance and lack of general greace says so much more about them than it does about you. You'll find your groove in time. I spent 6 years in the states, and being a very "liberal" Christian meant I was often a social pariah - but in time I found some of the most wonderful friends and the angst I suffered from the turned backs of those who couldn't stand to have thie myopic view challenged hurt less and less as time went on.

Sarah how did you know she lived in Wilts? I am not even in the MN know how, let along my village book club {wail} all is lost for me!!

they sound like wankers!

be my friend instead

I eat, I drink and I read.

BUT

This may put you off but I'm currently reading Summer and The City (SATC prequel) and before that I read The Carrie Diaries...

am I in?

Actually Bumps she may not , but she said

pay £1200 to sit in the rain in a wooden shed in Wiltshire as an effort to blend in?

but this may have been poetic licence.

So cease your wailing right now

Oh god oh god what have i started?

I have been outed as the only asda shopper in wiltshire. As if I don't have enough on my plate with the delicate matter of the book club mark of shame. I am the girl who kicked the boden vest.

I think that i might start a food/drink group instead, inspired by geraldine's suggestion of menu. I would deffo throw in a fray bentos pie for the men. And a vianetta.

Sidge

Chuck out Stephen King and throw in Jessica Rabbit and you have described my solo book club too

But that doesn't stop me wanting to join a group one (I would leave Jessica at home unless she were voted in too!)

8I think that i might start a food/drink group instead, inspired by geraldine's suggestion of menu. I would deffo throw in a fray bentos pie for the men. And a vianetta.*

I've got a pear-shaped tin of ham and some flumps!

Hi, I got snubbed by the bookclub ladies (actually the queen bee), I'd been living in the village for years and I'm not even common! After a while I realised that they enjoyed their clique-iness, gossiping and hardly got around to books. I'm thankful to have escaped them.

Not everyone in a village is like this - there's is usually always a village hall committee, church group etc. You will meet the nice people soon.

I can bring primula and ritz crackers. Tres fooking posh.

...and I'm sure if I go far enough back into my mother's cupboards I can unearth some Vesta curries

Think she meant CentreParcs??

Mustn't forget the Birds Trifle....

Oh my god, we have a party.
I have put on a batwing sleeve in celebration...

Cracked open the party seven. ..and some shloer.

Sprayed on some Charlie (by coty..) budge up, you can come and sit on my holly hobbie duvet.

and for the reading matter: Heat, Closer and Chat

Know how you feel, I'm an 'outsider' in a rural town & tried to make friends with the natives in my first year or so, notice use of 'tried'

After a few years have noticed that most of my friends are also 'not-local'.

OP, It was clearly a 'closed-book group', what you need is an everybodys welcome type of group.

Shit I have now outed myself as really OLD

Shit I have now outed myself as really OLD

Maybe Taxi but I think you'll find Vesta packets trump Coty's Charlie!

Taxi - at the risk of lowering myself to their level (but so hard not to because I seriously cannot stand cliques) perhaps you could send them a present: a box of chalk and a whistle...that way they can mark out their hopscotch grid and designate a "dinner lady" to blow the whislte when play time's over....

GeraldineHoHoHobergine - you have made me laugh out loud on a very grumpy day, many thanks!

A colleague of mine is in a book club and was telling me at Christmas that you have to keep the numbers down, because otherwise it takes such a long time for everyone to have their say about the book they've read and it all gets a bit repetitive and tedious. I can see her point, especially since I'm not really interested in someone else's opinion of the books I read, let alone eight or more of them!

I seem to be spending an awful lot of time on this site lately, telling people to chill out and not take things so personally. I never thought I was particularly thick-skinned or insensitive before, but now I'm starting to wonder...!

Did the village thing, it was social doom to be working for things like Book Club etc - joined some local evening class things, great social life within months.