To refuse sex??

[Louboo2245]

We've just had a new DD. She is 4 nearly 5 weeks old. And my partner is starting to make advances of a sexual nature.
I currently don't feel up to it due to being knackered and recovering from my c section. Towards the back end of my pregnancy is was ill so he has not 'had any' for at least 3 months (but in the same breath neither have I)
He keeps asking for naked cuddles, and tries to assure me there is nothing sexual about it, but in the past this has always led to one thing and yesterday when sent out shopping came home with a box of condoms.
It's getting to the point where I don't want to touch him for fear it will be construed as a come on.
AIBU to ask him to back off?

Or, in fact, what sportsfanatic said more succinctly

They're not thick, no, but they can be more than a tad ignorant.

I suppose the wealth of women rushing along to pour scorn on the idea any women should be entitled to not want sex might have something to do with it!

It is mind-boggling thought, I agree.

I didn't expect such a response ladies!
We have spoken about it today (it was his day off). It was quite nice as we had sometime to ourselves as my sister had DD and Ds was at school. He assures me he's not making sexual advances, he just enjoys holding me.
I think I have to go with giving him the benefit of the doubt, and the first time he steps of line kicking him in the nuts telling him I'm not comfortable with what he is doing.
I think there is a small part of me which is scared of doing the deed, but in the same breath I know my body just isn't ready for it yet and I've explained this to him.
Thankyou for all the advice ladies, and making me feel rational again

omg!!!! 4 weeks post cs?! i had dd months ago now and have prob had sex maybe 3 or four times since dd was conceived! sex should be between TWO PEOPLE WHO WANT/ENJOY IT not something one partner has to do with another to show you love them! you can do that by cuddling, holding hands, telling each other your in love ect ect... of course sex is important to most relationships but its not the be all and end all! esp at 4 effing weeks fgs!!! congrats on baby btw :)xxx

...some flowers for you too

I must be the only one who came round from a c-section and within 12 hours I was raring for it . Think we were back in the saddle 10 days later.Although, I cant understand how that happened as he's normally so sodding squeemish about "womens things" he'd run a mile if I suggested sex when I was having a period, let alone the massacre in a abattoir running through post birth. Probably explains why I had two within a year. FWIW I was back at work within 6 weeks.

All couples are different but the one constant is that communication is key. I am glad that the OP has been able to talk with her DP.

For my own experience restarting our sex life was an important part of restoring a sense of normality after a traumatic birth, failed breast feeding and PND. It wasnt necessarily fireworks to start with but was an important part of our 'togetherness'.

Oh dear... I had a C-section and still haven't done the deed. Seriously, your fella should wait until you're ready - it's a tramatic, intimate operation and then, with the business of looking after your baby afterwards there rteally is little time to think of sex. :(

So pleased you have had that conversation OP and all is well

yanbu and i,m crossing my legs reading this thread outch.

i,d like to see any man try to have a baby that to have a serious operation then want there partner to have sex with then they,d be running for the hills.

Naked cuddles? Ha! My partner should be so lucky. We've tried sex once in 4.5 months post-birth. That was at month 3. We didn't even finish.

Take your time, OP.