To Just Kill Them all? The Thoughtless Fuckers.

[Tortington]

1. I have problems with sleep - it is precious. i know you probably think it's precious to everyone, but it's more precious to me, i suffer from phases of insomnia. if i fall asleep on the settee - leave me

if i fall asleep on the floor - leave me.

dont ever wake me. E-V-E-R

so when 19 year old thoughtless fuckhead of a son comes home at 1.30 am and breaks into my home via the velux window - i of course do not hear BECUASE I AM ASLEEP

so in pantomine fashion...all together...what happens when i am asleep?.....that's right boys and girls - you don't wake me.

if son had woken me, i would have seriously beaten him bow legged.

but no, DH 'D' H gets up, wanders round the house after hearing noises, realises its fuckhead son, and starts shouting something along the lines of 'if you have broken that window.....dont ever break into my house.....i;m gonna beat you bow legged next time...'

and

wakes

me

up.

I have gone from zero to boiling point, i am hugely angry at fuckhead son and dickhead dh in the matter of S SECOND.

and i fume
and i fume

and now im up - awake.

the best thing is i have this meeting with a staff member who is making my life a fucking misery at 8 am.

fuck
me

and this is just the cherry on the cake which reads ' no one actually cares enough to give a shit'

thoughtless cunts
thoughtless fucking cunts

there are layers
and layers to this

dont get me started on fuckhead son breaking in - no he cant have a key - becuase ....hes a fuckhead - trust me.

lazy bone idle shit

that fucker is getting up and being chucked out when i leave at 7.15 am - AND I DONT CARE THAT HE HAS NO WHER ELSE TO GO - becuase all his fuckhead friends are in bed til FUCKING MIDDAY.

fuck
me

my dog died too on saturday and i am majorly upset in a big way which means i cry a lot and i have turned into a weirdo dog lady who cries over dogs

and fuckhead son stole a tenner - this is significant becuase i have two sons and this one has never stolen from me. so i'm very upset.

Custy - if she's been there years then she's probably taking advantage and is loathed by all those who work with her. She will be averse to change and will want things to remain exactly as they are with her doing as little work as she can get away with.

I would suggest giving her a project to work on with another colleague who doesn't like her. Tell her that you'd like to give her a little more responsibility so are trusting her to work alongside x with this highly important task.
She will fuck up, x will complain and you'll have the evidence you need that she is not performing well in the workplace. This will not come from you, but the poor fucker you've teamed her up with. So you don't have any choice but to give her a verbal warning. Shame.

Tufty, sometimes world leaders need to create panic so they can offer the solution and be held up as heroes. If the world runs according to plan, they don't see you solving any chaos and assume you are useless. That's why Blair went to war, he wanted to be Churchill. Unfortunately everyone thought he was a tosser before the war and an equal tosser after it.

Tossers should not be allowed to stand for government.
Which leaves just me

Tufty, I'm coming from the West tomorrow. So far West that I will be hard pressed not to spit at all the manky football nasties minor confluct of sporting interest

I have a vw camper. If dp ever commits a minor infraction, I will take the advice on this thread and make him sleep there. Having first disconnected the gas...

Hey can I tell you what I got for my birthday? It is a most bizarre list...

An apple tree
some soap
a fancy pen
some fudge
a loaf tin
liquor chocolates
4 cans of Guinness
an ornamental rabbit with a hat on
Spike Milligan postcards
a highly edited Bible quote

Now that has got to be the best birthday present list!

Oh and a card from my DAD saying "Have great sex"

'DOH'

i thought my quote won ....then you posted about your dads card

Well yours still wins as it was the card that said "have great sex", if he had written that in there, I would be sending the therapists round to his.
He also phoned me up and just cackled at me.

Custy, the inlaws are coming at 10.30am. I have to get everything ready to put in slow cooker to be turned on via timer switch at 7am.
I have to make a ginger cake.
I have to tidy house.
I have to make a fish pie for tonight.
I have to remove evidence of boozy sesh last night.
I have to explain all the texts I sent.
And my head is sore.

There, see, your day can't be that bad can it?

Poach fish in milk. Drain off all except about 3 tbsp. Stir in a shitload of cheese. Top with mash and more cheese. Oven for 30 mins. Easy.

DP is getying fish for dinner, hope he gets something I can make into a pie, you've tempted me now!

Shit, I've left the pastry in the freezer.
Oh well, poached river cobbler with mash it is!

Ooh yum. Dp got mackerel. Luckily he has also announced his intention to cook it later

your so right

you nigella you

COME TO PORTSMOUTH TOMORROW AND GET DRUNK TOMORROW 1PM

cannot :(
PILs

Need money
Got none
Am selling stuff on ebay that no fucker wants
s'nice in Portsmouth though

Get ded drunk custy
but don't fall in the sea because that would be bad

How's it going Custy?

I am never going out again, I went out to get food and returned with one dd avec split lip, no food and a Peppa Pig Umbrella

I am on fb and my speshul Mnetter friends know who I am.

well tomorrow about 1.05pm it will be awesome

i will have a pint in my hand

you must stop taking your children out to beat them with peppa pig umbrellas....how has no one told you this beofre? you don't need to buy an umbrella specially.

Bugger.

All the smacking threads got me confused