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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to wear make up and high heels

262 replies

WheresTheCat · 31/01/2012 11:42

Harumph. Have just skimmed through Julie Birchill's article in the weekend papers (I know - I'm running behind!) Apparently women only wear heels and make up as we are slaves to men.

I am so fed up with all the judgements about what women wear. Surely we should wear what we want as long as we're happy. For me it's high heels and make up, for my BF it's trainers and jeans. It doesn't matter.

And, Julie Birchill, it doesn't make me a bad person/anti-feminist/unintelligent if I choose to dress the way I do.

OP posts:

entropygirl · 31/01/2012 13:44

kay oh god yes sorry - I wasnt saying anybody else is struggling to do both make up and a good job...I am just saying that I personally am very close to my intellectual limit in my current job and devoting any time at all to thinking about make up would probably break me.

MissBeehivingUnderTheMistletoe · 31/01/2012 13:45

I can't say that I've ever had a problem with my brain being filled up with makeup and shoes that I forget how to do my job. But I am amused by how it might play out..

"Your Honour,

The defendant appears before you today charged with . Have I told you about the latest airbrush concealer, it will completely get rid of those tear troughs. And have you ever considered exfoliating?"

That does seem like a very retrograde opinion tbh

NeverAttributeToMalice · 31/01/2012 13:46

Rather than thinking makeup is a gateway product leading to plastic surgery, I think it is an extension of the washing/toothbrushing/deodorant-wearing that we do to make ourselves a little more agreeable to others.

I rarely wear makeup, because I happen to have good skin. A little mascara because I'm so fair that people think I'm unwell when I don't wear it; a little lipgloss because it's nice to be a little alluring.

Julie Burchill and her ilk can bugger off and stop trying to oppress me with her narrow notions of what I should and shouldn't wear.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 31/01/2012 13:47

But entropy...if I get up in the morning and look in the mirror and feel shit, seeing other people looking equally as bad would make no difference to me! I just dont get that side of it......as I said, it comes down to self respect and self preservation...........I dont care how other people look, I just care how I look.

entropygirl · 31/01/2012 13:50

squeaky erm not as such...I have been a bit down that road and just didnt get it. I found that wearing make up made me feel self-concious and uncomfortable and that happiness and confidence came from doing well academically etc. So I just ditched it.

I was challenging Kay to come up with colours because I happen to think i would be an interesting case study for her knowledge (because I look like a clown)...not because I would rush out and follow her instructions.

It's far too late for me to start giving a shit about how I look. I have my family, my life, my job (if I stop with MN anyway) I have no need to advertise myself on the basis of looks, and no interest in make up for its own sake.

My only interest in the topic at all comes from having a baby DD, and hoping against hope that she will not grow up in a society that resembles the current one, with it's emphasis on looks over content, fame over talent, women as objects, and cosmetic surgery to fit in with the in crowd.

lovesadirtylie · 31/01/2012 13:51

good point!!

entropygirl · 31/01/2012 13:52

betty so if you dont wear make up you have no self respect? Well that's certainly a...erm....point of view.

Okay I will stop frothing and let you all get on with it....

Kayano · 31/01/2012 13:53

I enjoyed thinking about it :D

MAC 'all that glitters' and 'antiqued' in outer corner btw
Urban decay Naked palette (oh the irony) is one of my favourites for a more natural look

yes, I am still talking lol

MissBerta · 31/01/2012 13:53

Jesus, is there nothing left to enjoy any more. It's not bad for your health, it's not hurting anyone, just enjoy your lip gloss if it's one small thing in life that gives pleasure, without the endless analysis.

Astronaut79 · 31/01/2012 13:53

Do contact lenses count as make up?

Just wondering, because I've worn glasses for 25 years and only had contacts for last last 2. Been wearing make up since I was 16 (late starter!), but I feel like I'm being more vain/conscious of others' opinions when I've got my glasses off. I know men wear contact lenses too so it might slant the issue, but I do wonder whether people who are 'against' makeup are also twitchy about c lenses.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 31/01/2012 13:55

Thats not what I am saying and you know that!!! I respect myself enough to want to look nice, I dont care what you wear, what you look like, makes no difference to me.

yeah, stop frothing and let us saddos get on with it, live and let live hey!

Kayano · 31/01/2012 13:55

I'm also expecting a girl and I don't think O would be bothered either way if she was interested in make up.

My mum wasn't.

And going by me and her dad I bet she will be a hairy little thing who wants to shave her legs at 11 don't know how I would approach that one has serious think

entropygirl · 31/01/2012 13:56

hmmm but tooth brushing and washing are about hygiene. Make up doesnt appear to be? In fact from the state of the skin of clamour models/actresses sans make up it would appear to be quite the opposite.

Foundation with sunblock in it would be the exception I suppose....

squeakytoy · 31/01/2012 13:58

Fashion evolves in each decade though Entropy, and nobody can predict what the generation that your daughter grows up will be wearing in 15-20 years time.

In the 60's it was all about layers of make up, fake lashes, kohl eyes, and by the 70's it was the natural look.. the 80's had more colours than the rainbow, and the 90's were pretty much nothing special... we seem to be in an era almost back to the 60's again now other than the face colour of the day is orange rather than as pale as possible..

A lot of the time though, especially as a teen, make up is something you wear to help your self confidence, but also to fit in with your peers.

My mum didnt really wear much make up, and she wasnt impressed with the amount I slapped on in the 80's, but that was what I wanted to do. Not because I felt I had to, but because I wanted to.

Kayano · 31/01/2012 13:58

another random fact

Foundation with suncream ir spf in it often does not photograph well and can make you look white and washed out if there is a flash on the camera

end random fact

Winkly · 31/01/2012 13:59

astronaut surely contacts are ok, your own face is out there, it's nice glasses with fancy frames that flatter the shape of your face and/or match your outfit that would, by extension, be an issue.

entropygirl · 31/01/2012 14:00

betty no I dont know that you mean something different from what you actually type because the only information I have is what you type.

I respect myself enough to not care what I look like, and to give anyone out there who judges me on appearance the heave ho.

squeakytoy · 31/01/2012 14:01

Another myth is that leaving your make up on overnight will ruin your skin. It has never ruined mine... I may wake up looking like Alice Cooper some days.. and scare the dog, but I have always had clear skin and rarely had spots. Nor do I have any wrinkles.... yet!

Winkly · 31/01/2012 14:02

Op - how do you feel about the fact that at the weekend I got very early and travelled a long way to see my sick mum in hospital. I cried my eyes out with worry, then just before visiting hours I put on makeup so my mum didn't see my puffy tired eyes and tear blotched skin, and therefore she didn't worry about me?

NeverAttributeToMalice · 31/01/2012 14:03

Yes, there's the hygienic aspect of washing, but if I lived alone on a desert island, I doubt I'd wash my hair quite so often.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 31/01/2012 14:04

But you are judging us on appearance...you are judging us by wearing make up. What is the difference?

I actually dont wear loads, I dont wear foundation as I have nice skin so literally mascara, a bit of eyeliner and some bronzer just to give me a bit of colour does it for me! I certainly dont lash it on.

My mum never wore make up bless her, she wore glasses and so couldnt wear eye make up as she couldnt see to do it without glasses and she couldnt wear glasses to do it so she certainly didnt inflence me in any way.

Kayano · 31/01/2012 14:05

Squeaky I hear ya
Lol

I also had amazing eyeliner on last Wednesday that ended up all over my cheeks after OBEM was on

That was an error of judgement.

I also do the makeup to hide puffy eyes thing. I would often weep going to scans appointments due to needle phobia and didn't want colleagues/ my mother
To know and worry

entropygirl · 31/01/2012 14:06

yeah squeaky I am sure you didnt feel you had to wear make up, but why did you fell you wanted to? That is what peer pressure feel like. You want to be the same. It is only rarely that it feels like actual pressure. Pressure is actually easier to with stand than the drip drip drip of everyone else acting differently, eventually making you want to go along with it.

Every time some knew daft fashion comes out I start off thinking 'bloody hell thats impractical and pointless' or 'what a hideous colour'. But once there has been nothing in the shops or being worn by anyone in the street that doesnt conform to the fashion for say 6 months I start to feel like it might be okay after all and maybe I was wrong about orange leg warmers....

Nobody ever told me what to wear....but I am just as susceptible to trends etc.

I doubt girls queuing up for boob jobs feel that they have to....I bet they feel like they want to, and it's for them, not anyone else, and anyway how is it anyone else's business what they do to their own bodies.....

Kayano · 31/01/2012 14:09

I didn't get into makeup until I was an adult - actually it was after I was married so I can't say I was affected by peer pressure as a youngster.

I look at my wedding photos now and think 'I could do that eyeliner so much better' now.

Just actually proves that it is for me as
Obv DH wasn't bothered lol

ClothesOfSand · 31/01/2012 14:12

I wear makeup. I don't understand people putting it on 'for themselves.'

Are you applying it to be a body part that you can see, like your forearms? Or do you work at a fun fair in a hall of mirrors?

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