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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to wear make up and high heels

262 replies

WheresTheCat · 31/01/2012 11:42

Harumph. Have just skimmed through Julie Birchill's article in the weekend papers (I know - I'm running behind!) Apparently women only wear heels and make up as we are slaves to men.

I am so fed up with all the judgements about what women wear. Surely we should wear what we want as long as we're happy. For me it's high heels and make up, for my BF it's trainers and jeans. It doesn't matter.

And, Julie Birchill, it doesn't make me a bad person/anti-feminist/unintelligent if I choose to dress the way I do.

OP posts:
entropygirl · 31/01/2012 12:08

betty I cant think of many more important feminist issue that the body image problems that so many teenage girls have.

WibblyBibble · 31/01/2012 12:09

As long as you aren't expecting a knee replacement on the NHS for your self-inflicted leg problems and aren't blocking the pavement while you totter about like a moron, I don't care if you want to wear high heels. HTH.

fluffylegs · 31/01/2012 12:09

Entropy i find your argument rather spurious. Maybe the act of airbrushing causes people to question their own looks but makeup, really? You're more likely to look at someone and think 'I wonder where she got that nice red lipstick.'

No one says you shd wear makeup everyday. But don't we all sometimes want to look like a better version of ourselves?

entropygirl · 31/01/2012 12:10

kanyo wow you sound like you have SKILLZ.

I dont wear anything that isnt comfortable and I dont wear make up. I hope the message that this sends out is that I dont care how you look, I care who you are.

Of course I dont really look like shit because of any high minded ideals, I really look like shit because I cant be bothered, I HATE shopping and I was born looking like shit.

Mya2403 · 31/01/2012 12:11

I love makeup but high heels are only an occasional thing for me.

entropygirl · 31/01/2012 12:12

fluffy "But don't we all sometimes want to look like a better version of ourselves?"

yes indeed - but wouldnt the world be an exceptionally better place, particularly for teenage girls if that WASNT the case?

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 31/01/2012 12:12

I dont think the body image problems are anything to do with make up to be honest, it's not the same thing IMO

My DH loves me with and without make up, I feel under NO pressure to wear it, I just like to make an effort.

Birdsgottafly · 31/01/2012 12:12

I like 'painting' myself, i like to choose different colours.

I am good enough and often go without makeup, but on some days,i want to spend my time doing that. I like colour, i am very visua land i find that i am affected by my surroundings. Make up is an extension of this. When i was younger my hair was always different colours.

I like nice sparkly shoes, i don't go for very high heels, these days.

I wish people, male or female, wouldn't tel lme what to do.

I am in my 40's i 'got' the whole feminist thing before many who spout their crap was born.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 31/01/2012 12:13

...and I think the world would be an exceptionally better place if people stopped judging others for what they do and dont do....including wearing high heels and make up! Cuts both ways!

MissBerta · 31/01/2012 12:14

If somebody look at me and thinks I'm shallow or only think of what I look like then that's their problem, not mine!

MorrisZapp · 31/01/2012 12:15

Julie Burchill will say anything if it gets her a column and plenty of postbag.

Her and Jezza Clarkson are in fact pleasant, friendly, tolerant people of moderate political beliefs. Who act at being provocative wankers to pay the rent, much as Johnny Depp acts as a pirate to pay his.

That's my theory, anyway.

Birdsgottafly · 31/01/2012 12:15

I don't look like a better version of me, i look different, i like different looks.

entropygirl · 31/01/2012 12:15

betty you might not feel under pressure to wear make up but you are putting pressure on everyone else by doing it. okay its only a small amount and I am not holding you personally responsible with societies current obsession with appearance over everything else....but surely you can see that it is the whole 'look as good as you can' message that is damaging and that wearing make up is a part of that?

Kayano · 31/01/2012 12:15

But then entropy you have the implication that I people who have make up on don't care about who other people are.

I know that's not what you are saying but it can come across that way.

I've had to wear less make up recently due to my skin changing and it's killing me. I have a rather blotchy/ patchy/ wtf is up with your face skin tone Grin

ZZZenAgain · 31/01/2012 12:16

do what you want and wear what you want, I don't see how it is harming other people much tbh. I would suggest looking after your back and doing something to strengthen it and counteract a sway back if you wear high heels a lot. They definitely aren't good for you but it is your back, your bones in the end

MissBerta · 31/01/2012 12:16

Wish I could keep reading but I'm genuinely off to have my highlights done!!!

entropygirl · 31/01/2012 12:16

btw I have no opinion on this birchell character...never heard of her.

Kayano · 31/01/2012 12:17

By the way if you have green eyes. MAC Coppering eyeshadow is the best thing in the world Wink

MissBerta · 31/01/2012 12:17

You're not pressured to wear make up though, entropy. Don't speak for everyone.

Right, to the hairdresser's.

squeakytoy · 31/01/2012 12:17

I really look like shit because I cant be bothered

There you go then. Just because you cant be bothered, doesnt entitle you to judge anyone else who is bothered.

sunshineandbooks · 31/01/2012 12:18

I saw a brilliant quote from a one-time regular poster in the feminism section about this issue:

"It's about separating the fun from the burdensome"

I am aware of the feminist analysis of high heels and make-up and I agree with it 100%. I still wear (very light) makeup though and occasionally high heels (though never sky-high ones).

Makeup can be about a lot of things. Some people use it to make a statement (e.g. goth or punk). If we're honest with ourselves most of us probably do wear it because we think it makes us look more attractive. Not because we're trying to pull but because looking more attractive makes us feel more confident, which has a lot of other beneficial knock-on effects.

There's nothing demeaning about that - it's a behaviour hardwired into us through evolution after all. It's just that what is considered 'attractive' is now determined by our culture, and as such doesn't necessarily mean natural, attainable, or even desirable if you start thinking about it in more depth.

I think wearing make-up is absolutely fine, but it's always worth asking yourself what you enjoy about it. If you feel very un attractive unless you've spent over two hour beautifying yourself every day, then it's clearly taking over your life and it would be worth questioning the values of a society that demands that of large numbers of women in the same way we are beginning to question the size-0 culture. But most of us don't go to that extreme.

High heels are something different I think. There is hard science to show how damaging they are. You can wear fashionable shoes with slight heels that elongate your legs yet still allow you to walk naturally without resorting to 6-inch-high monstrosities that cause back pain, pelvic problems and bunions. And again it's about context. I'll wear (slight) high heels on rare occasions because they suit my mood and the event, but I wouldn't wear them on a daily basis. If you feel you have to, again, ask why that is. Why don't men have to conform to such a standard.

Buying into the myth doesn't make you a lesser person or a fool, but I think it's good to question it. Most of us establish a compromise between vanity and comfort, and that's ok I think as long as any sacrifices you are making for comfort are done with your eyes wide open and aren't causing you long-term physical problems.

entropygirl · 31/01/2012 12:19

Kayano thank you for believing that I dont think people who wear make up judge on looks - you are right.

The problem is that if I see someone made up to the nines, the only information I get is that they think it was worth their time to do that. I dont stop and chat to every made up woman I see to find out that really they dont usually bother and actually they dont think teenagers should be copying their look etc.

The idea that what you personally choose to do is no one elses business is the BIGGEST load of bollocks on MN.

Your personal choices affect EVERYONE, thats what being in a society is all about.

WorraLiberty · 31/01/2012 12:20

I'm a complete mix

Some days it's no make up, jeans and trainers and other days it's make up, heels and smart clothes.

I think people like Julie Birchill just blah blah for the sake of it.

She might as well be saying Rhubarb Rhubarb for all the notice I take of people like that.

entropygirl · 31/01/2012 12:21

squeaky If I ever feel myself in danger of judging anyone, I will bear your comment in mind....

wahwahwah · 31/01/2012 12:21

I think than anyone speaking in a (I assume) put-on baby voice is a slave to men/women (is she still gay, or did someone tell me she had decided that she wasn't anymore??)

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