Did schools used to be like this?

[spiderslegs]

DS started school FT in January & ever since it's been a constant stream of missives, announcements, edicts & raised brow questioning from his teacher.

The first week he was there I had a constant battle with his teacher because I was sending him to school with a padded body warmer on, not a coat, every day she asked me if he 'has a coat, because we play out every day, even when it's drizzling' & yes, you do, but not WHEN IT'S PISSING DOWN. In which case his arms will get slightly damp, as will his legs & face, how would you like me to mitigate against that, full dry suit & mask?

It was warmish & sunny, biblical floods were not on the horizon .

Consequently, EVERY CHUFFING DAY it's been something, last week was battle of the drinks, they have a school issued water bottle (irritating in itself) which I sometimes put in, he has milk at break & a drink for lunch, I was taken aside twice for not giving him a drink - I had he just didn't arsing drink it, maybe they should have asked him to look in his bag again?

Would you like me to pop in a few times a day to ensure he has fulfilled his government recommended level of fluid intake - WOULD YOU?

On Friday the lovely mum that drops him off sheepishly told me teacher asked her to mention she did NOT LIKE HIS SHOES, they are difficult to do up apparently - I'm sorry, I'll get him some M&S footgloves shall I?

Today's final straw was the letter from the eco-co-ordinator that asked me to reduce waste in his lunch box & that they would be speaking to the children about waste in their lunches THEN COLLECTING & COMPARING THAT WASTE - so you'd like to make my son feel like a miscreant & social pariah because he has a Baby-bel rather than a dried up hunk of cheddar planed from a block would you???

So AIBU to want to run through the school screaming - 'I AM A FREE BORN HUMAN BEING - MY CHILDREN ARE FREE BORN HUMAN BEINGS - I WOULD LIKE YOU TO TEACH THEM MATHS, & READING & SPELLING BUT LEAVE THE REST OF IT TO ME PLEASE'

Am I ?

ExoticFruits: A good Ofsted certainly helps your house price and sale-don't knock it! Ours was outstanding and we sold 2 years ago for the asking price within 48yrs so I am thankful they could tick the right boxes! (it was actually very good)

So the point of a school inspection system is to increase house prices in the area! Boy, am I glad I home educated. Have a !

I really think that you need the information spiderlegs-maths has changed enormously and you would have to be a very young mother if it is taught the way that you were taught.

Spiderlegs is right - maths has not changed. The way of teaching may have but if a moderately intelligent parent of a 4yo cannot "get" it, after having spent 11 years in school doing maths, then there is something wrong with the way it is being taught! Governments (and schools) have a vested interest in making it too complex for normal people.

SDeuchars- I agree with what you say with regards to maths but there are frequent posts on here by mums asking for help with "modern" methods and terminology. (I don't mean the posters who happily admit that they struggle with numbers either.)

SDeuchars- do you really think that schools and the governments have a vested interest in making things too complex? If they could teach all children how to do times tables or whatever surely they would so that they could show off about how great they are?

spiderslegs

Compare this:
"The first week he was there I had a constant battle with his teacher because I was sending him to school with a padded body warmer on, not a coat, every day she asked me if he 'has a coat..."

with this:
"I have not been in any way belligerent towards my son's teacher, I have been nothing but pleasant because I most certainly do not want to make his time there in any way difficult for him, the most she could have detected would have been a slight twitch of the right eye."

Being "nothing but pleasant" doesn't involve "constant battles" "every day" over the course of a week. It involves doing what you're asked to do, without having to be asked repeatedly - however trivial and irritating you think it is. Perhaps you are a little prone to exaggeration - but do you see how you came across in your OP?

Your son's teachers are important people in his life. It's wise to be pleasant and cooperative. There will be times when you need your son's teacher's help, or you need to talk to them about something important in relation to your son. On these occasions, it helps if they don't associate you with completely unnecessary aggravation and time-wasting. They are human, after all.

You sound like the type of person who won't be told anything, but I hope for your son's sake some of this will penetrate.

Blimey, bit of a sense of humour failure by some posters on this thread, no?

Oh I see! Argumentative parents - they're such a larf! Yeah right.

this topic and content scares me, are schools really like this now?!

Ferris

Well yes, that's what happened, everyday I sent him in his body-warmer & every day she asked if he had a coat, to which I replied, 'He does, but I think the weather's fine enough for a body-warmer', quite pleasantly (& do not accuse me of passive-aggressiveness please) at no point did I go marching in shouting, 'Oi you, I've had quite enough of your petty meddling into the way I dress my son, he is my child, MY CHILD I TELL YOU' or anything resembling this.

So yes it was a battle, a battle of perfectly well mannered wills, over who chooses what my child wears, castigate me if you will (& you will).

Oh & I will be told things, I have already accepted the need to embrace velcro into my life.

Fair enough OP, I'm sure you'll grow to love the velcro. You might even grow to love the school if you give it a chance. It's all new, it does take getting used to, and it's early days yet.

Ultimately, the only thing that really matters is whether or not your son is happy at the school.

So the point of a school inspection system is to increase house prices in the area! Boy, am I glad I home educated.

I don't think that you actually read my posts! I was explaining that parents shouldn't go by on Ofsted -they need to visit. Lots of parents do go by them-and much as I hate them if it helps increase my house price of course I am happy. Of course it isn't the purpose, but it is the only part of them that I find useful as a parent.

Spiderlegs is right - maths has not changed. The way of teaching may have but if a moderately intelligent parent of a 4yo cannot "get" it, after having spent 11 years in school doing maths, then there is something wrong with the way it is being taught! Governments (and schools) have a vested interest in making it too complex for normal people.

Although I am against the government interference -to give them their due-the purpose is to make maths easier for DCs to improve their understanding. Teaching has improved. When I went to school I was taught subtraction by 'borrowing one-and if you borrow you pay back'. This works beautifully and the DC can have a lovely page of ticks. I worked out for myself that I wasn't borrowing anything but I don't I don't think that some children ever got place value. It is much better now. I'm afraid that you are completely wrong that parents work it out for themselves. People are constantly asking on here. Parents have asked to have evening workshops in schools to explain methods.

Things change all the time. When I was at school my father , who is good at maths, tried to help me at secondary level but it was hopeless-he wasn't using the same method and it is the working that matters-not the answer. An answer is useless if you don't understand how and why you got it.

Why on earth you should think that the government and schools want to make it complex for normal people I have no idea. You can lay a lot at their door but they actually want to improve understanding and make it easier.

Ultimately, the only thing that really matters is whether or not your son is happy at the school.

Quite right!

You can muddle up a child who lacks confidence in maths if you try to teach a different method at home. It is much better to find out what they are actually doing. I have lost count of the number of people on here asking for help in the matter. I expect some have studied maths at a high level-it would be silly to guess what they school are doing-much better to ask.

It's part of the STATUTORY EYFS curriculum for children in Reception class to have free-flow access to an outdoor area ALL DAY unless the weather is unsafe, so yes this means rain too! If OFSTED were to visit they would expect to see this. Not only that but children gain an enormous amount of skills from being outdoors, so you son should be suitably clothed in case (as many many boys do) he wants to spend most of his day outdoors. The water thing is to ensure parents don't give their children fizzy drinks which rot their teeth as schools are also expected to meet healthy eating criteria as well. Why don;t you stop moaning and volunteer to help 30 4-5 years olds do their laces/shoes every time they come undone, as teachers are also supposed to ensure children are independent, they can;t learn to be unless they are given shoes which they can do up themselves! And for those of you saying why can't teachers just teach, we have a responsibility to support the needs of the whole child not just their cognitive development.
The eco thing is not to persecute you or your child (don't agree with the comparison of waste in PL), it's to try and raise awareness of ethical issues, where's the harm in that, perhaps when the landfill sites are full, we should all dump our packaging in your garden

It is a fact that houses in areas with good schools always fetch a premium. An estate agent told me that. Where we live all the good schools are west of the M1. Correspondingly house prices are higher.

YAB partially U. The individual requests over water/shoes/coat aren't unreasonable, but the method of delivery is questionable. The information should have been given to you in written form before your child started, then there could have been no confusion nor any need to pull you aside all the time.

I have to add that if my child's teacher had asked if he had a coat every day, by the third time I would probably replied that yes as I had told them two times previously and ask them to respect my decision regarding his atire.

I also find the "didn't like his shoes" thing a little odd. I would have expected a request to get velcro ones next time with an explanation as to why.

I moved out of an 11+ area because I don't agree with it. It didn't stop me from using it to market my house. I'm sure that the point of grammar schools isn't to increase house prices-in the same way I don't see why SDeuchars is pleased that she home educates because 'the point of Ofsted is to increase house prices'! It is a spin off from good schools, or what parents perceive to be good schools-not the point of them!!

I agree Nibledbyducks.

I find the suggestion that schools always communicate all expectations/rules to parents appropriately and therefore the OP is talking crap to be really quite amazing. Some schools are really crap at communicating - it's not a shocking revelation, it's something that's genuinely hard to get right. Some schools work harder at it than others, that's not a hard thing to believe, is it?

So far we've been to two schools - the difference in their communication standards has been enormous.

'I'm also sure if your average four year old can understand new methods of teaching maths it will not be beyond my capabilities to grasp them. That's why Google was invented.'

Or MN.
How many threads a week are there asking questions about maths homework, where a reasonably intelligent parent can't work out how to do homework set for a seven year old?
OP you are a difficult parent. However, there are dozens like you at the school and hundreds of thousands of difficult parents using the system.
So you are neither original or unique in your struggle, it's an old story.
There have always been parents that were unhappy with whatever was happening at the time in schools, just different cohorts in different decades.

I'm facing my fourth decade of tricky parents.

How many threads a week are there asking questions about maths homework, where a reasonably intelligent parent can't work out how to do homework set for a seven year old?

I would be rich if I had a £1 for everyone! Which is why I get a bit riled to be told that schools don't need to liaise.The good ones work with parents, others leave them to guess or ask on MN or similar.

I am a tricky parent- but I always stay friendly, fair, reasonable and approachable and let the minor irritations go- and then when you want the major everyone is ready to listen and help. Store up goodwill-don't fritter it away on coats and water bottles.

I think that perhaps your DD's teacher hasn't done a very good job of communicating with you. Had she have explained herself fully then I don't think there would be a problem.
Children in Nursery and Reception are required to spend time playing and exploring in the outdoors, and perhaps a coat rather than a bodywarmer would be best?
I guess the lunch box thing will be part of a programme schools follow to earn eco awards. The work done to become an eco school is usually carried out by the older classes, and so they are probably doing a project about waste... Looking at the waste in lunch boxes is a fab way to investigate materials, re-cycling etc, and is probably part of their science and maths work for the term. Hardly like they are going to make your 4 year old stanf=d on the table and beg forgiveness for eating a baby bell!

And as for the water bottle. I agree they don't really need to drink every two mins, but you don't really want your DD to be the only one without do you?

Starting school is a bit of a shock to parents too, but things are much easier if you regard the teacher and the schol as being on the same team. They care about the kids too, and for the most part are trying their best.