to think putting your child in a costume for one day is too much to ask??

[imoanruby]

It was world costume day this week at dd's school, she's in year 1.

It has been in the newsletter for the last three weeks, there have been signs up in the window of every class for the last two weeks. There are signs on the main entrance to the school and yet still so many children aren't in costume and i saw at least five in her year crying at classroom doors.

It doesn't take much, dd only had a chinese dress on. Some had Disney or superman costumes, one had even recycled his costume from the christmas play and one had a striped t shirt and a beret, no one expects anything expensive or elaborate but alot had normal uniform on and were really distressed.

I heard mums saying "well i didn't know" or "no one told me" when in truth i think they just can't be bothered. I know people work and it's hard but there was loads of notice...am i being unreasonable in thinking the parents should make more of an effort?

Should actually be - AIBU to think it's not too much to ask - sorry

YANBU. It's good to learn about entering into the spirit of things and making an effort to join in for special events. Would be a dull world if no-one organised or took part in things someone's gone to the trouble of arranging.

if your child is collected by a childminder you may not find out as you don't actually go into school. Newsletters get lost easily on the way home.
some children hate costumes as well

I see the point about child minders.

The news letters do get emailed to parents as well though and we have all had reminders via text so i think most people would know.

If the child doesn't want to wear one then that's fine of course.

But the children i saw were really upset.

News letters don't "easily get lost on the way home"! I've never lost one...they go in the child's bag which is sealed. Most schools send texts and emails in addition. OP yanbu. SOme people can't be bothered.

Ah well.

DS tells me that one child at his school came in non-uniform a month early, having misread the newsletter. Being one of many still in the school t-shirt pales into insignificance beside wearing a Spiderman outfit when no one else is!

Nah, can't get worked up about this one. Get it wrong a few times and the more organised type of child might actually start to listen in assembly and remind you about it him/herself (lives in hope).

How do you KNOW you've never lost a newsletter, BOM? You've only seen the ones that reach home, that's all.

Bwahahahahaaaa

I hate dress up days with a passion.
Several children turn up in fantastic costumes and lord it over the others all day. "Oh, can't your parents afford a new costume?"
For many parents (myself included) a letter home about costumes is enough to make your heart sink. Knowing that you have to find a costume out of your dc's limited wardrobe, or spend money you don't have to buy suitable clothes that will probably never be worn again.

It's not that I can't be bothered, or haven't seen it, it's because with the number of school trips to pay for (well over £100 last term), finding a crappy costume for one days wear doesn't rate highly.

In answer to your OP: yes, it blooming well is too much to ask. Life is short. The very mention of 'dress up day' makes my heart sink. I am quite busy enough already. And the Compulsory Jollity element puts my teeth on edge.

Disclaimer: my children have, as far as I remember, wodged together some sort of costume for themselves on said dress up days.

YANBU I suppose. Yes it's a total PITA but it doesn't have to be that elaborate and it sounds as if there was plenty of warning. The only time I really hate it is when I don't find out about until the night before and DS2 has a meltdown because we can't find a realistic looking full-body velociraptor costume (or T-rex, or hadrosaur, or ankylosaurus....etc). And DS2 is good at meltdowns - in fact if velociraptors did meltdowns he probably wouldn't even need a costume ...

Hello MI !

Mind you it is not as heart sinking as (shudder) sports day...

I can understand where you are coming from op. I made masses of effort last year with a hungry caterpillar outfit , sitting up till all hours cutting up a cereal packet and painting it for the mask, sewing bits here and there. Ds looked great for a home made jobby but half the class never bothered and I did wonder why I got in such a fluster over it.

OP...when your child is in year 6 and you are still having to dress them up for book day you may feel differently.

YANBU. There are always one or two mums in my DD's class who forget about costumes day or own clothes day every time and have very upset children.

Our sports day is literally all day

And if your unlucky to have 1 infant & 1 junior it's two whole days
last year was Tuesday and Thursday
We were encouraged to take a picnic and stay all day in the burning sunshine with no shade and buy coffee for 50p to fubd raise
it was beyond hell

I once forgot about mufti day and sent my dd2 in her school uniform. I was so rushed I didn't notice all the other children in their normal clothes instead of their uniforms (in my defence, it was in the middle of winter and the children were hidden under coats and hats).

Our school has about eight of these a year, if not more (mufti or dressing-up). Obvously across an entire school of 400, there will be a few parents who didn't get the letter, or forgot as busy, or didn't have or want to make an effort. The school should have a plan b for these children- in my case, my dd2 wore some dressing up clothes but she did go on and on about my parenting failure for about a month afterwards.

I do have a DD in year 4 as well so have to do double everything too.

I love it though and so do they. I think it's important for them to join in and see that you have to make an effort sometimes.

I really don't see why they should have to see their parents making sodding costumes, though. There is gin to be drunk, novels to read and work to do.

I LOATHE dress up days, and they happen ALL the bleedin time at my DCs school. I used to have 3 there at once and 3 costumes for book week, closely followed by a full Roman soldier costume, 2 different animals and the Tudor topic dress up day nearly tipped me over the edge. It's definitely got out of hand.

Good for you OP for thinking we should all make an effort....next costume day can you come and sort my DS something out then as I really cant be arsed!

I hate these bloody dressing up days......I am one of those dreadful mums who just go out and buy something (I have neither the time or inclination to make something) and it's just a bloody fag to be honest...this is one of the few times I am glad I only have one DS.

So YABU...purely for being so smug about it all!

One of my friends went to fashion college and is a real whizz with costumes. Her DD was ALWAYS a tree or something at the back in the school plays, but she always had the most F off tree costume you've ever seen. Made us laugh.

OP - I think you have found on here some of those who find making any effort unpalatable. Not many of us relish making costumes, but surely you can cobble together something , even at the absolute last minute.

And it doesn't stop at primary school, either. Ds has been doing cookery this term and one boy didn't bring in any ingredients (no, he was not from a poor/struggling family). He just said that his mum "couldn't be bothered" to buy the ingredients as the items weren't in her usual online shop.

Some people should have "can't be arsed" tattooed on their foreheads.

Princess T, what does an F off tree costume look like?

Betty you misunderstand me. I was not saying that everyone should make something, not at all. DD was in a dress we brought some years ago in chinatown. I do not expect anyone to spend hours sewing or painting - there are not enough hours in the day!