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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think putting your child in a costume for one day is too much to ask??

92 replies

imoanruby · 27/01/2012 11:41

It was world costume day this week at dd's school, she's in year 1.

It has been in the newsletter for the last three weeks, there have been signs up in the window of every class for the last two weeks. There are signs on the main entrance to the school and yet still so many children aren't in costume and i saw at least five in her year crying at classroom doors.

It doesn't take much, dd only had a chinese dress on. Some had Disney or superman costumes, one had even recycled his costume from the christmas play and one had a striped t shirt and a beret, no one expects anything expensive or elaborate but alot had normal uniform on and were really distressed.

I heard mums saying "well i didn't know" or "no one told me" when in truth i think they just can't be bothered. I know people work and it's hard but there was loads of notice...am i being unreasonable in thinking the parents should make more of an effort?

OP posts:

limitedperiodonly · 27/01/2012 16:36

I didn't mean to imply you're a Can't Be Arsed kind of person, MotherInferior

I am, though, about things I Can't Be Arsed About.

grubbalo · 27/01/2012 16:39

Orml, I just wanted to say what a genius idea that was, and how I will be stealing it when we have to do world book day.

I said on another thread though how I would always try to put the effort in, but I am utterly useless at costume making etc - so I hate those days if there's not much notice as it really does take me ages to come up with something reasonable. Everyone has different talents!

cubbie · 27/01/2012 16:39

lynniep

please see my post about taking in extra party clothes!!

(and can I just add, that as a teacher, these dress up days just make the children feel as if it's a "no work" day! I'm gobsmacked at some of the themes that have been described! I am SO glad that we don't do any of them!!)

Hulababy · 27/01/2012 16:41

I also took in 5 additional costumes for our year group school play - just things from DD's dress up box.
Our narrators (lots of them) could dress up as anything and all but 5 did. Luckily I had exactly 5 spare outfits that we could use.
It wasn't because the children didn't want to dress up either. But I do wish the parents could have told us beforehand, so we could have been more organised.

GladysLeap · 27/01/2012 16:49

We used to get endless dress-up days at nursery. Even when I'd had the note, written it on the calendar etc etc I would still get to nursery on the day having forgotten all about it. (Not every time, but we missed a lot of them).

I am not in any way creative. If I got an instruction for world book day I would not have the faintest clue what to do. I can't sew and I can't make things. And do you know what? Amidst working, the school run, studying (work related qualif) and everything else I have neither the time nor the inclination to faff about with costumes.

motherinferior · 27/01/2012 16:51

Oh, I didn't mean you, limitedperiod . I was just reacting to the general tone that those of us who CBA with Compulsory Jollity are therefore clearly not engaged in any way with their precious children and probably are raising feral fag-smoking illiterates.

limitedperiodonly · 27/01/2012 16:51

as a teacher, these dress up days just make the children feel as if it's a "no work" day

cubbie That's interesting. I'm not being a killjoy and there should be fun in school but I do wonder how much learning goes on on World Book Day, Medieval Day, Victorian Day etc.

When people bring in cakes and wine for someone's birthday at work I enjoy it, but it is an excuse to knock off.

limitedperiodonly · 27/01/2012 16:57

feral fag-smoking illiterates

That's not a bad idea for the next World Book Day, motherinferior. If only I had a DS he could go as Keith Talent from London Fields. I wonder how they'd take that?

BendyBob · 27/01/2012 17:01

Applauds motherinferior 'In answer to your OP: yes, it blooming well is too much to ask. Life is short. The very mention of 'dress up day' makes my heart sink. I am quite busy enough already. And the Compulsory Jollity element puts my teeth on edge.

Disclaimer: my children have, as far as I remember, wodged together some sort of costume for themselves on said dress up days.'

Yes that's me too. It's nearly run me ragged some years with 3 costumes to sort out. I hate dress up days. I'll never let dc down; they always join in but quite honestly, yes, it's too much.

Hulababy · 27/01/2012 17:04

It depends on how dress up days are organised as to the work done.
And to me mufti days - ones where it is just wear your own clothes for whatever charity type - are the type that can suffer ime.

However, if linked to the work done at school that day/week or linked to the current theme in school it can be a good thing, and can enhance the learning.

For example, DD had a 40s day at school. They all dressed in 40s style clothes. They had someone from an outside compamy in doing lots of work with them, had a big "class" in the hall where the children we sat as they would be in an older school, had chalk boards or ink if older, one big teacher and chalk board. Even had an air raid siren go off and have an air drill going into the tin bunkers, etc. That was 3 years ago now and DD and her friends still talk about it (plus other simialr events they have had) and they obviously learnt a fair bit.

Dd has a tudor day next week and is wearing a tudor style maiden's dress. They will have a tudor feast and listen to stories from that time, and do role play, etc. DD is looking forward to it - in y5 now - and I expect she will learn p;enty.

BendyBob · 27/01/2012 17:09

Btw I too sent dd in as Slinky Malinky once. She looked blimmin brilliant. The problem though was that what with the leotard and the tied on tail, she couldn't get it off to go to the toilet

I have also seen others coming in wearing costumes that can't be sat down in

So not only must we come up with a costume (or more than one costume if you have more dc) but it must be quick release and up to the rigours of the day/rain on the way to school etc. Sheesh. And all by 9am. Give me a break..

TheParanoidAndroid · 27/01/2012 17:12

I'm sure your distress showed on your face. How about you just deal with your own kid and leave everyone else to worry about theirs?

snuffaluffagus · 27/01/2012 17:12

God I remember forgetting non uniform day once at school and turning up in uniform. Devastated I was. I have however lived to tell the tale.

Original poster

imoanruby · 27/01/2012 17:19

paranoid actually it didn't, i mind my own business - not all of us judge other people.

I didn't say it made anyone a bad parent i was just asking if people think it is too much.

I felt sorry for the ones who were upset - i was not judging anyones parenting skills.

OP posts:

joanofarchitrave · 27/01/2012 17:24

As the mother of an only, my brain freezes at the thought of going through this for 3 or 4 children. why not just have a couple of child mannequins in the class and [gasp] make things in class to dress the mannequins up?

pinkappleby · 27/01/2012 17:27

We were asked to send DC in with one red item for Chinese New Year, letter was quite specific with examples e.g. red t-shirt in place of polo shirt, red socks or red tights or a red hairclip.

You should have seen some of the girls red shoes, tights, dresses and extravagant hair pieces . It's the parents, not the kids as this is reception. Some of the girls who just had a red hair clip were upset. One little girl's mother even restyled her hair when they got to class, getting various brushes and combs!! I think it's a shame, not just for the ones who did do as they were told but wonder if the teachers will want to repeat next year.

Teacher was prepared with red ribbons for hair or round waist for those who forgot/parents couldn't be bothered.

dollymixtures · 27/01/2012 17:29

Yy to Mother Inferiors comments and a hollow laugh at three weeks notice. More like three days here.

Look, I am hopeless at craft stuff and I resent giving up my weekends to hunt high and low for a donkey costume or whatever it is this week, most of which will be discarded by DS before he's even got to morning break. I always find something though because he would be distraught at being the odd one out.

Thing is my SIL does it too, every birthday party is fancy dress. For the grown ups too . Between her and DS school I feel like I live in the fancy dress shop from Mr Benn. Without the fun portal to other worlds which would kinda make it worth the hassle.

yellowraincoat · 27/01/2012 17:34

Some people are skint. Some people have parents who are alcoholics/drug addicts. Some people have parents who are just shit.

I'm pretty much 100% that we never did dressing up when I was at school, except pyjama days. Where I once wore my all in one with a picture of a dog on it, it was well cool, can picture it now.

BendyBob · 27/01/2012 17:41

I cannot for the life of me see how dressing up makes one iota of difference to your interest in books I just don't get it.

I enjoy historical fiction, but the enjoyment wouldn't be enhanced by wearing someone else's clothes for the day

tinkertitonk · 27/01/2012 17:44

Why do schools waste time on this rubbish? Have they really taught the kids everything there is about reading writing and arithmetic? And if they have there is plenty more to learn in other directions... I dunno, inappropriate Greek myths for instance.

Actually I can't think of a Greek myth that is appropriate. But they're fun.

TheParanoidAndroid · 27/01/2012 17:46

Oh please, you can't deny what you said, your OP is right there for anyone to read....
"I heard mums saying "well i didn't know" or "no one told me" when in truth i think they just can't be bothered. I know people work and it's hard but there was loads of notice...am i being unreasonable in thinking the parents should make more of an effort?"

That is clearly judging. No question.

mrsravelstein · 27/01/2012 17:51

i can't bear bloody world book day, and since ds1 has always hated 'dressing up' we've never really bothered, apart from the year i got married and he really liked his suit, so he wore that and said he was james bond.

i just think it's a load of hassle and has no point whatsoever, not least because at ds1's school, it was 50% harry potters and 50% darth vader, who is not really a book character, to my mind. kids who like dressing up can dress up at home, right?

MissBetsyTrotwood · 27/01/2012 17:52

DS1 hates dressing up. He always has and this hasn't changed as he's got older. On World Book Day this year the whole year was asked to dress as a character from their favourite book; of course the idea filled him with horror and he was really uncomfortable. Instead, I let him wear his uniform and we made a feck off massive dinosaur badge together, like Harry and the Bucketful of Dinosaurs. It took him ages.

He wasn't upset when he got in and most of the other kids were dressed up. His teacher was cats bum mouth about him not dressing up but, given how unhappy I know it makes him AND that he'd spent ages compensating for his avoidance of the whole thing I couldn't have given less of a shit.

@ BendyBob

Original poster

imoanruby · 27/01/2012 17:53

That is indeed what I said but you are wrong to assume I stand in the playground giving judgy looks to anyone, I am far from perfect myself.

OP posts:

motherinferior · 27/01/2012 18:03

In the words of the great Wednesday Addams: 'I've come as a serial killer. They look just like everyone else'.

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