to think putting your child in a costume for one day is too much to ask??

[imoanruby]

It was world costume day this week at dd's school, she's in year 1.

It has been in the newsletter for the last three weeks, there have been signs up in the window of every class for the last two weeks. There are signs on the main entrance to the school and yet still so many children aren't in costume and i saw at least five in her year crying at classroom doors.

It doesn't take much, dd only had a chinese dress on. Some had Disney or superman costumes, one had even recycled his costume from the christmas play and one had a striped t shirt and a beret, no one expects anything expensive or elaborate but alot had normal uniform on and were really distressed.

I heard mums saying "well i didn't know" or "no one told me" when in truth i think they just can't be bothered. I know people work and it's hard but there was loads of notice...am i being unreasonable in thinking the parents should make more of an effort?

I think it's really sad that some parents can't be arsed with this sort of thing. YANBU.

YANBU

However it tended to go in the opposite direction at DD's school which is full of really competitive types.

'History Day' two years ago was a eyeopening mix of Disney princess dresses and totally over the top handmade and bought costumes.

Two girls were seen walking into the school dressed in 18th century big pouffey dresses, complete with the big white wigs and wide skirts.

I suspect thats why we havent had any dress up days since.

I can sew ok, but I don't like dress up days.

With growing kids, something from 2 years ago won't fit. Something that does fit is generally needed for normal wear.

I've cut up a few of my things previously and spent hours traipsing round charity shops looking for suitable base to use. It's frustrating.

i love dressing up days!
but i hate when they have cookery,especially when they tell you the night before and even if the shops were open,youve run out of money!

I am one of these mums who never seems to get newsletters...I have no idea where they disappear to!

I think my record was being woking up in the morning by a worried face and the dreaded words 'Mum. it's World Book Day! What am I going to wear?'

I was very proud of myself. He went as Slinky Malinki - in black, with whiskers drawn with eyeliner and a lipstick nose, and various object stuck to him with sellotape. Was a masterpiece.

With upset children we will try and go hunting to find them some form of dress up item from within school or print them a mask off the internet for them to colour in and wear.

We put notes in book bags, have posters up and post the information on the school website. But some people forget or chose not to take place. All fine except that sometimes the child really does want to be dressed up and it is mum/dads decision for them not to.

Ruby - I stand corrected!!! I may not be arsed to make anything but I always make sure he has a costume, just get on off ebay or something!I do think it is a nuisance though!

At our school it is up to the kids to put the newsletter in their bookbag, hence they go missing! It's all about getting them ready for senior school, which they seem to start from year 3

Exactly, Hulababy. For some children "it's the mum/dad's decision for them not to" and that is really crappy.

you would have seen mine crying at the door the last one we had, in no costume. You wouldn't have realised that he had refused to wear his sodding costume yet cried and screamed once he got to school and everyone else had one.
You would have stood there giving me your judgy "oh the poor little mite what a terrible mother" look, which would have helped enormously.

So, yeah, thanks.

I have a love-hate relationship with school dress-up days.

I hate it when they impose some 'theme' such as one world book day they wanted 'good' characters so DD couldn't wear again the really quite good Captain Hook I'd put together the year before (she wore it again the year after! - always make costumes with growing room ).

I'm a bit that they're still doing it in secondary - yr8 and she had to go as something out of Toy Story for something (children in need maybe). Took some thinking about, certainly couldn't have done it without a few days notice (Little Green Alien - mask, badge, blue clothes)

YANBU op if its simply that parents can't be bothered.

If however, they've forgotten, not got the note or put the wrong date in their diary its a different matter.

DD's school had a prince and princesses day for reception to celebrate the royal wedding and ashamed to say i put the wrong date in diary. in fact the dress was all ready for the next day. All the little girls were running about in beautiful dresses and poor dd was in school uniform. Luckily her teaching assistant was several steps ahead of the parents and had raided the schools dressing up boxes so she was able to change and look just as gorgeous as the rest of them.

I always double-checked the dates - not out of fear of DD being the only one in uniform, but the reverse. Being the only one in fancy dress (or even mufti) while everyone else is in uniform would be truly mortifying!

I think some just forget and then remember then its too late or cant be bothered , Its not unusual to see a few kids usually the same kids not taking part in whatever it is , as they go through primary it doesnt change , It doesnt take much i always felt sorry for the children who were left out because a parent forgot or couldnt be bothered , I was in no was crafty or imventive when mine were in primary but always tried to make an effort ,

ParanoidAndroid - I think this may be us in a year or two.

DS is in the habit of not wanting to do something until it is too late.

The school attached to his nursery seems to have dress like a pirate day every single month. I've never quite worked out why.

Well... I had dress up day.

My son with ASD has a complete meltdown but I encourage him to take part... he has the costume in the bag and goes (as normal) in uniform. We plan it ahead and talk about it (A LOT!!).

My big issue is that school think that it's no problem to up end the day with no preparation!! And then when he pitched up in uniform at the last one (costume in the bag) said 'well not all parents have the time to sort costumes, especially working parents, we understand really...'...

Ohh the satisfaction when I explained we did have a costume and oh BTW the way my son is off his head because you havent told him how the day will go and he's now yours for 6 hours...

I have no particular problem with costume days but I hate hate hate themed costume days with a vengeance. We have a pile of costumes at home which have been cobbled together over the years - bought here and there in the sale, donated by older kids, charity shop etc. I have no problem getting the DC into 'a costume' of some sort. But it wrecks me when the theme expects us to be creative and original, and the kids are then judged on the parents' 'skill' in spending hours on end bending cloth round wire and sewing wings (I will never try to make a bat costume from a black umbrella again!). Having said that I've managed a number of themes quite well - an Irish theme (all green with paper shamrocks and Irish flag face paint), 1001 Nights (lots of scarves stapled together), 'In the Garden' (happened to have free bee costume), 'Under the Sea' (bluish green dress with paper fish attached and scarves). But it's still a royal pain in the butt, and I sympathise with any parent who doesn't have the resources/time/energy to play along.

TBH I forget things. I forgot to give DS1 'party clothes' for his christmas party. I forgot to take DS2 new nappies and wipes to his CM this morning (and therefore had to nip to the corner shop and pay a fortune for them - gah) I'm busy. I forget sometimes. Doesnt mean I dont care. Just means I forgot...

MotherInferior's reference to Compulsory Jollity summed it up beautifully.

You're a CJ kind of person, OP. Some of us are CBA kind of people.

Is this thread connected to the Dress up as a Chinese Person thread?

What are 'world costumes'? Don't most people wear jeans and baseball hats nowadays? What is an African costume for instance, or a British costume?

BTW my children hand in their homework; I fill in forms and cheques; they have PE kits and musical instruments; I can be arsed with their education. I can't work myself up into anything but corroding despair at the prospect of a sodding costume.

ParanoidAndroid - I take that into account to as we had one little boy last year who did that all the time. So, when he got upset at school we would try and help him with an outfit of some form. Mum used to bring one in a bag for him to change into in the end.

You would have stood there giving me your judgy "oh the poor little mite what a terrible mother" look, which would have helped enormously

paranoidandroid I would not stand there giving anyone a judgy look, it's none of my business and the lack of costume does not indicate a terrible parent.

The lack of costumes and the amount of distressed children made me a bit sad that's all.

"World costume" would refer to traditional or national dress generally, rather than every day dress - else everyone would look pretty similar.

It's lovely at all school to do as we have children from many many different backgrounds from all over the world. Some of the outfits worn, many proper traditional outfits, are beautiful. Often there are nice stories behind them too which the children share with us.

English is hard though as we don't really have a national dress as such do we?

I'm a primary teacher and at our infants' Christmas party, I brought in some extra smart shirts, tops, t-shirts belonging to my DS (not at school but DS1 is very tall so I knew they would fit) as there are always childern who don't have a "party" outfit to change into.

Parents sometimes forget; there is a lot going on at Xmas and I wouldn't judge 'cos twice I have totally forgotten about things on at nursery that I could have gone to e.g. a wee concert/show (was absolutely heartbroken when I realised, cried my eyes out and really beat myself up, though DS's weren't remotely bothered).

I checked the infant classes to see if any boys had forgotten, several had and a couple were very very upset; children do not like to different.

I offered them all the chance to wear something, they were all delighted. It was no bother to me, just shoved everything in the wash when I got home. I think one family of boys actually wore things nicer than whet they would have brought themselves haha! (quite unusual shirts I got online, and I don't mean any disrepect to their mother, she is on her own with 5 DC and they can be quite unkempt and grubby, though lovely lovely children and she is lovely too. I hope that didn't sound patronising.)

I'd hate if it was my DS that were the odd ones out and I like to think that someone would try and help out in some way. DH texted me at 7.45am the other day to say the children were to wear tartan to nursery for Robert Burns Day!!! A frantic search uncovered a couple of matching shirts which were a0 too small, and b) one was grubby! Had a bloodstain on it but I don't know how it ended up back in the wardrobe! Had to roll up the sleeves to hide it!

When we, as a stff, have discussed these kind of days, those who have school-age children say that it's too difficult to come dressed as a famous Scottish person and they wouldn't want to have to do it. They all say they hate having to come up with costumes, apart from at Hallowe'en. So the idea gets scrapped though the children are told about it and allowed to do so if they wish. I'd say less than 10 actually do it, and they seem perfectly happy being the only ones.

We don't do World Book Day, thank God, though a number of neighbouring schools do, they usually get the local press to take pics. I think if we were to start doing that, it would be on the basis that they could if theywanted to. I personally would play it down and not really mention it again to my class, 'cos I know how much of a nuisance it will be for the parents.

Am not a killjoy, I usually wear orange and black at Hallowe'en etc, themed earrings etc (from ASDA) but I know I would struggle to come up with a costume for World dress up day or whatever it was, and now I know how hard it is to have DC and work, so I can sympathise with parents.

I do think that schools should keep these things very low-key, would happily not do any at all! We have a Wear It Pink day and we do things like that, as I said, low-key.

DS1 will be starting school this year and I'm dreading the onslaught of these kind of things. Yes, I want to take part in school life and will probably join the PTA, got to events etc, we already go to one there every year. But I just don't like these dress up things. My Mum was a teacher and she was fab at making costumes etc, but we only really had Hallowe'en way back then! I am rubbish at that kind fo thing, and don't have the time anyway.

Sorry, I have warbled on and on. Apologies to all those who have now lost the will to live. There is a reason why I just lurk and hardly ever post!