AIBU to think that its strange no children allowed at my friends wedding...

[MCDL]

AIBU to feel a little upset that only the children of immediate family are allowed at friends wedding.... Find it most unsettling that DP and I have been invited to something dd has not .....

YABU

Ah... a chestnut of the old variety!!!! (YABU)

I've been to loads of weddings and I have only ever been to one where children were invited, and that was only because the groom was from overseas so when they invited his friends and family they had to invite the children too, otherwise the adults couldn't attend.

In my experience weddings are generally adults only.

I think the answer is yes, you are.

Not another wind up?!

Sorry OP but it's their wedding and they can invite or not invite who they want.

Mabye they are looking to keep costs down? Stop their wedding turning into a kids disco? Want their friends to enjoy a kids free night? YABU for finding it unsettling.

YABU, maybe they can't afford to invite children of friends? If its a problem for you to get childcare or you're offended by it then just decline politely and don't go, I'm sure they'll understand.

HTH

I had kids at my wedding but I understand when people don't. It can be very expensive if there are lots and if you are limited to numbers it could mean you can't ask some people you would've liked to. Don't take it personally, there is probably a family with lots of kids who are the real concern and in that case it's easier to say no kids to all. If you feel really strongly then don't go.... or just enjoy the night out on your own.

How old is your dd?

YABU-most people these days are restricted on numbers, either due to cost/venue size. Children still count in the numbers so it makes a huge difference if everyone's children are invited. They also need to be catered for, not just in terms of food, but also entertainment, toys, space to play etc.

Yes thought bout the cost and organised a bb sitter in the room for during the meal .... Dont think this is ok either .. Problem is we had planned a few nights a away and take in the wedding. It is a four hour drive so could not go, come back, collect and go again ....

YABU. It's their wedding, to arrange however they want. That doesn't mean it'll suit everyone so if it doesn't suit you in its current form, just make your excuses and say it doesn't suit you.

YANBU. But you don't have to go. I would make an excuse. I have been to lots of evening wedding dos without DC but nearly always we all get invited. I loved having kids there at my wedding.

YABU will you expect to be invited to every child's birthday party that your DD is invited to or will you find it most unsettling not to be

I would rather go to a wedding without my children so I could get drunk

I'm organising a wedding at the moment, and we've had to limit it to our siblings' kids only.

We've chosen a venue that we like, can afford, and is convenient to most of the guests and accessible to our 90-year-old Nans, one of whom very rarely goes out at all. We can fit in 120 max. Babes in arms count towards the head count, but not the food bill.

Family, including the sibs' kids, are the first 70 on the list. That's Nans, aunts, uncles, a few cousins that we're especially close to, and their partners, as well as our parents and siblings and their partners.

Best man, ushers and bridesmaids and their partners are another 10. These are the very, very close friends that we could phone at 3am in a crisis and vice versa. Then there are the family friends; about another 10.

We have to count ourselves!

There are 28 spaces left. That's 14 friends plus partners - 7 friends each. These are the "ordinary" friends, the ones we go out with from time to time, enjoy seeing, some of them have known for most of our lives.

If we'd invited even our cousins' children, there wouldn't have been space for any friends at all. We couldn't invite Friend A's children without inviting Friend B's children as well, it wouldn't be fair. We would love to have had all the family and friends' children, but we couldn't afford to have anywhere bigger, and in any case 120 people is way more than I'm happy with; any bigger and I'd spend the whole thing hiding.

Guest lists are REALLY difficult. If you don't want to go without your daughter, I'm sure the bride and groom will understand. It's an invitation, not a command.

Sorry for the essay, but we have so many of these threads I hope it will shed some light on how quickly the numbers add up.

YABU.

YABU to find it unsettling. Its not and when your dd is invited to a laser quest party and you aren't that won't be unsettling either.

YANBU to think that it will make it much more logistically difficult for you but you seriously can't expect people to fork out a £££ per head dinner for kids and in all likelihood not invite actual friends because kids have the places because your logistics are tricky.

It's more weird you can't see that some people would want their wedding adult only. I never would, the children are always invited to my family weddings, but I can easily see how some people would want a different type of wedding.

YABU to want to turn someone else's wedding into a family trip for you. Its up to your friends who they invite to their wedding and if you don't want to go without DD then decline the invite. If numbers are limited I am sure they will have other people lined up to fill your space. We only had family children to our wedding which amounted to 3 kids. I have been to weddings with children tearing around like its a kids party and they have been dreadful.