AIBU to think that its strange no children allowed at my friends wedding...

[MCDL]

AIBU to feel a little upset that only the children of immediate family are allowed at friends wedding.... Find it most unsettling that DP and I have been invited to something dd has not .....

The no-kids rule is eminently sensible, especially if on a budget, the people getting married are the friends of the adult not their offspring. It is ridiculous to think that children should be included in every social event going.

It all mounts up money-wise too, they need to be fed watered and entertained for the duration of the day, it also means that other friends cannot be invited due to others turning up with a ruck of kids.

You find it unsettling to be invited to something your child isn't? really? Do your employers invite your DD to the annual work piss up then?

YABU btw. Obviously.

Typed so many responses to this then deleted each as the subject has been covered far too many times and the OP's never seem to realise that the whole world doesn't find their 'adorable' children as fascinating as they do.

Instead of being in a huff because your daughter hasn't been invited why not take the less travelled road of being honoured that you and your partner have been invited to share in someone's special day.

Thank u lamatattoo, your post explains it all .....

Well that's that one settled then

Damn... arrived too late for the popcorn.

YABU, it isn't weird at all. They're your friends, not your daughter's. It's conventional when you invite someone to extend the invite to their spouse or partner, but there's no expectation to invite their child, sibling, parent, cousin etc as well. Where would you draw the line? Numbers are probably limited, so the more of your family members they invite, the fewer of their own actual friends they can have.

If you don't want to go without your DD then that's fine, just politely let them know you won't be able to make it.

We had kids at ours, but I still think Yabu. Why is it unsettling? Do you do everything together?

Yes YABU on numerous accounts.

This subject seems to come up every week (yawn).

I had a few children at my own wedding, but I think people should do whatever they want at their weddings, and if that means no kids, so be it.

I'm probably going to get attaked fir this but it's my opinion soo...
Impersonally would never dream of not inviting peoples children( maybe because I have two kids?) and I wouldn't attend a wedding that stated they didn't want my children there. I really don't understand it. Each to their own :)

Gosh some of these responses are rude, everyone has their own opinion which is what these threads are all about! Why do people have to be so snarky

What is it with all the wedding/children threads lately?

Had no children at my wedding - was living the dinky life in London at the time and children were just not on my radar. Now, with three children, I'm more able to accommodate the needs of people with children at major events, but I certainly wouldn't be offended or find it rude that I was invited to a wedding with DH and my children were not.

YABU

Lots of people would 'never dream of not inviting people's children' my2centsis but just can't afford to or don't have space at the venue. The people getting married in the op have invited children, but only family children, which suggests to me it's not any issue with not wanting children there per se but just the normal limitations people have when planning the guest list for a wedding.

Why do you find it strange?
Either accept the invitation for yourself and partner, or decline. Why make an issue out of it?

YABU

You go to a wedding to socialise, why would anyone want to socialise with their kids!?

You wouldn't bring them to a pub or club I don't get why anyone wants to bring them to weddings. They're just a pain in the arse tbh.

It could just be that if they invite everyone's children it will become prohibitively expensive, some of their friends might have 3 kids for example so they can't really ask your child and not their DCs. I do know what you mean though, my DD absolutely loves weddings, all the dressing up and meeting people etc. It is fairly common though.

Yabu. We had no children to our wedding but mainly because noone had children.

I have actively discouraged some relatives of ours who are getting married this year from inviting ds (2) as they are tight on numbers, money and Tbh he would probably misbehave!

scarlet actually a lot of people do socialise with children. They do take them to pubs, they are called family pubs. Not everyone sees children [either their own or other people's] as a pain in the arse. A lot of people also see a wedding as different to going clubbing.
Even if you prefer not to take them a lot of people also find it difficult to arrange childcare, especially if an overnight stay is required.
Having said that, no one has to agree. Brides/grooms are free to invite who they wish. Guests are free to accept or decline their invitations.

Having seen a very smart wedding completely ruined by a very small bridesmaid who ran up and down the aisle screaming throughout the service, I would support the 'no children' rule.

D

YABU

4 hours drive away and a hotel stay?

I would have declined tbh.

On the whole I do to prefer to attend minus dc but child care can be a nightmare especially if an overnighter is needed.

Yes two overnighters planned ... Thank u My2, my thoughts exactly ... Obv different opinions .. also some very rude ones also .. No need ... But thank u for opinions ,,, was not aware of most .....

YABU

Very good friends of ours are getting married in July. We immediately said, "Yippee, grandparents are staying at ours then, and can look after the children", but our friends immediately looked something between shocked and hurt.

They don't have kids, (but want to start sometime soon), and think our kids are wonderful. We attended a family day event of theirs recently, of course we all dressed appropriately and our kids were charming. (Apparently others commented on how well behaved they were, and how nice they looked. (We were the only people to bother to put our kids in something better than jeans and a t-shirt)

Our kids were lovely, but it was still hard work. Basically didn't manage to have a decent conversation all day. There was always another nappy to change, one of them wanting something to eat or drink, wanting to play/chat or trying to climb up a ladder or put their finger in a powerpoint. All perfectly normal behaviour, but there were people there I hadn't seen in years, who I dearly wanted to catch up with and another couple who only knew us and the bride and groom, so wanted to talk to us too.

I'm hoping this couple go for an evening event, so we have an excuse to leave the kids at home. (It's over 1h drive, so can't quickly drop them back at home halfway through.) But was really surprised that people I've known for so long, and know well, would have such a different view to kids at weddings than I do. (My boys will be 1.5y and 4y when they get married.)
(So AIBU to leave my kids at home, even when they are explicitly invited? ;-) )