To think I am a bloody doctor, I shouldn't be working for a pittance after childcare?

[knackeredmother]

I am having a pissed off day so am probably BU.
I work 24 hours (plus much more unpaid overtime) a week as a GP registrar, this includes nights, weekends and long days until 10pm.
My take home pay is £1200 (after 5 years qualification).
I have 2 dc under 5 and employ a nanny as my son has lots of hospital admissions with an ongoing chest problem and my shifts mean nursery/childminder would be impossible. I also have no family to help out before I get flamed for having a nanny. There really is no other option for us that I can work out and nursery for 2 would not be much less money.
I pay our nanny about £800 a month gross for 17 hours per week (£10 p.h going rate). That leaves me £400 income to pay all of my outgoings.
My nanny has no childcare to pay for as she uses the 15 hours free government funding and has family help. Its not her fault but she has almost double the disposable income I have for working less and more sociable hours.
I'm using up annual leave today as poor ds is too sick to leave even with our nanny.
It's just made me think what is the point of going to work? I could stay at home, have no sick child stress and although I would be £400 a month down I wouldn't need to run a car, fork out bloody thousands pounds for professional exams and membership fees
I'm being unreasonable aren't I - somebody tell me it will all be worth it in the end!

Self employed plumbers can earn more - buta nother friend who until recently was self employed, took a job because there is much less work around at the moment and so much competition.

I'm a bit tired too, ever so slightly. My autistic DS hasn't slept through the night once for all of his four and a half years and he got up today at half three in the morning.

I still know the difference between fewer and less and I had a CRAP education and upbringing.

You need to think long-term - when your training is over and your children are in school so no childcare costs, you should be quite comfortably off. You'll presumably be able to work more hours then as well.

Whereas if you quit now, you won't have those future prospects, the whole family will be very reliant on your DHs income alone, which means more pressure for him and less security for you.

As other posters have asked - I don't understand why the cost of the nanny is paid only out of your wages and not shared between you and your husband?

But that's not the op's fault, is it.

Dear knackered mum.
next week I start a part time salaried job.... last 6 days of the VTS! I have 3 under 8. there is light at the end of the tunnel.... although it doesnt feel like it
I have to go to work now but will be in touch soon
deep breaths!
L

It strikes me as a bit odd to work part-time then complain about the pay.

WTF Winter?

Winter - what on earth are you on about regarding benefit bashing and reporting thread

Winter - I think its a bit cruel that because someone has muddled less and fewer then they must have a learning disability. If anyones' posts need reporting its that one.

Report it if you want to, Viva, and I will take the flack or banning but this does not ring true. Nothing about it does.

Winter happily, I am able to see that someone's skills as a GP are quite separate from their typing ability whilst hastily posting on an internet forum and (I understand) being copiously vomited on by an ailing child.

You sound rather strange, if I am frank. Are you quite well?

YANBU OP - but I don't think there is any good solution. FWIW I did the opposite: had trained as a mature student, was at F1 stage. Then dd1 had a spell of rubbish health, lots of hospital admissions, looked like I was going to have to have lots of time off/ shifts at work wishing i was with her. Colleagues were really unsupportive. Earning a pittance, negative in fact after childcare...Anyway, I stopped work. Immediately felt better, dd has thrived despite severe multiple allergies and bad asthma (touch wood and I'm not saying this was down to my presence btw!)

BUT 7 years on with one more child it will be virtually impossible for me to return. Who knows if I made the right decision.

It is rubbish when your child is ill and work seems hardly worth it. But you are playing the long game I suppose. Good luck.

winter, she has only missed by one key to mistype 'pro rata' as 'pro rats', and she is tired and posting in a hurry.

FWIW, I do have a learning disability, and I do know the difference between less and fewer. Does that mean I am somehow more deserving of respect? I'd be a truly rubbish GP so I think you'd miss the OP!

I admit I'm confused by the financial situation here and can't follow whether the OP has 400 spare, or 400 to pay her share of bills/rent, or what. I agree 400 spare is a lot, but having a sick child could get anyone down and maybe she's sort of ranting about that because she thought once she was a qualified doctor it'd all be easy and it's easier to blame the money than the tiredness and so on?

Benefit-bashing? The OP hasn't even mentioned benefits, that I can see, nor has anyone else.

The main difference seems to be that the nanny has family to help out with childcare, and the OP doesn't - which is a shame, but that's how life is sometimes. The 15 hours 'free childcare' is for all 3-4 year olds, isn't it, not a means-tested benefit? So I would have thought the OP would be just as eligible for it, if/when her children are the required age.

I am perfectly well mentally and physically thank you. If I sound strange that would be to do with my autism but I am trying to overcome it. How are you? I do hope you are well.

Interesting that you used the word, "vomited" when the so-called medical professional typed, "puking". But there you go.

I'd be perfectly happy for a GP who can't spell, has bad grammer or whatever, to treat my DS.

I don't understand why you're being quite so harsh WinterIsComing

p.s. A member of my family is dyslexic yet (shock horror) teaches English.

Lack of sleep is obviously getting to you.

I don't think a doctor would necessarily be great at grammar, spelling etc or obliged to use the 'correct' terminology when posting on a parenting forum Winter... I think you're mistaken, the poster has posted before about her nanny etc.

Winter, you are labouring under the belief that all doctors are clever. They are not, plenty of them are just good at learning by rote.

I'm brighter than my doctor DH

I mean, not clever in every single definition of the word including using less and fewer correctly.

But she's not at work - she doesn't have to use vomiting on an internet forum.

FWIW - I didn't even pick up on the less/fewer thing, only realised when you pointed it out. Its a mistake I may well have made......I'm still a good midwife, my grammar may not be great but I can deliver babies, deal with medical emergencies, etc. Most Drs I know would easily put less instead of fewer, make spelling mistakes, etc. They're Drs, not English teachers.

Hi OP

In my experience YANBU, sadly it's something a lot of working mothers go through.

I was friendly with a couple at DD's nursery. They were both doctors. She I think was a surgical registrar and he had gone back into education to do another Phd. I noticed I saw less and less of her. They had 2 girls at the nursery. I had a chat with him one day and he basically said that the vast majority of her income went on childcare and they were struggling. I was really shocked as may perception was that as doctors they must have been comfortably off. How wrong I was!

I have worked and struggled too, it's been worth it now DD is at school.
I still have my career and a reasonably good job. Had I stayed at home I would have deskilled and found it harder to reenter the job market, especially in the current financial climate.

It won't last forever, keep telling yourself that. You will get through it! Best of Luck x

After nearly five years that is a distinct possibility Alberto.

They say it is comparable to to torture.

My Dad is called Albert but he isn't Italian or a frog.