People who are late for school every day or almost every day.

[MrsJAlfredPrufrock]

Why don't you just get up 15 mins earlier?

By the way, I have 4 children, a job and a very demanding MIL.

HairyToe

Just out of interest - and remember we are talking about a child of 3 here - how far would you push it? I mean, if you have already sent them to bed hungry because they refuse to eat and if you know (because they tell you) that they are not eating properly at school - I completely follow your logic, but it takes quite a tough parent to win that particular game of brinkmanship, and quite a clever one not to turn eating into an ordeal instead of a pleasure. I suspect, therefore, that I am neither.

As things currently are for us, I would rather encourage my child to eat when she is on a roll on the eating front than jeopardise that.

Again, fully aware that this is my fault ultimately - I am sure there is something fantastically simple I could do to get a child who would happily go hungry to clear her plate - but I refuse to care overmuch if others are judging me for it. Every morning we attempt to be on time; on many mornings we are not; I apologise; we try again tomorrow.

So let her be late and get a detention for it

No. She will not be late. She will not disrupt her schooling or her classmates schooling just because I can't be arsed to make sure she is ready to leave the house on time. She is 8. It is MY responsibility to get her to school, like it is my responsibility to make sure she eats, gets some sleep, does her homework, gets a bath etc.

In all my years of schooling I was rarely. There is no reason for her to be late either. I have dressed her a few times, in the early days, and now she gets the message & she knows I am serious.

Aside from anything else MIFLAW, how do you know that I am not trying to get somewhere on time, so I am not late? That I rely on her being on time, so I can be on time? You don't!

I am on time, well dressed, stress free and marvellous...just a lottery win and lose a stone or two and hurrah to my perfect life.

Hexagonalqueenofthesummer I am not altogether happy about it except that I think it won't kill her for half a term in year 1 and I know and understand the reasons for the girl being late and quite honestly poor little thing does not deserve an ounce more stress or hurt in her life.

Also I rather suspect it makes DD concentrate better if she knows she has to explain it later. Her maths seems to have come on leaps and bounds this half term and its always maths first lesson

And I never lie online.

Lady Posie Parker

MIFLAW - Could you make her toast/banana sandwich/a little pot of blueberries/pot of dry shreddies and she could eat them in the pushchair on the way to school?

Like I say, I'm not judging you for this. You do what you feel is right, like we all do. As you say, I know nothing of your circumstances.

But your logic - that by wiping her arse for her now you will incur good arse-wiping habits for adult life - doesn't stack up for me, so you have not swayed me.

Pushchair? She is three, nearly four! Why would she be in a pushchair?

There are plenty of on-the-go options for food.

A smoothy in a leak proof cup? Toast in a tub. Dd2 likes dry cheerios (also dry nutragrain - but she is odd)

"incur" - meant "instil", sorry.

I don't know what you mean, LeQ

My timekeeping was terrible, but these days I tend to overcompensate as a result. Late buggers can be cured. I'm generally pretty disorganised, but good lord you should see my immaculate filing at work. I can find a document - hard or soft copy - in the blink of an eye because again, I've learnt to overcompensate.

OP I wasn't pissy with you, but your mention of hanging around after drop off reminded me so very much of the people who'd be blocking the doorways gassing for England. I was extremey pissy with them (as was the poor teacher). These days now ds is big and ugly enough to make his own way to school, it's more a case of restraining him from leaving half an hour too early so he can hang out with his mates before class

I work in a primary and I know that most of our late comers do not have medical reasons that make them late. We follow up regularly and fairly consistently.

It does make it more difficult for the child in most cases when a child is late all the time. It makes the start of their day more rushed, they miss out on the start of the day and sometimes the first part of the lessons. In our class it can mean them missing the start of the 15 minute phonics - so key learning can be lost. And it can also be disruptive to the other children in the class.

I know one offs can't be helped at times. Everyone has the odd time when they run late for one thing or another.

Children with additional needs - well, that can be sorted out with the school on a one to one basis.

But regular lateness, where additional needs are not the issue, isn't great for anyone tbh.

Sorry LeQ, the "I don't know what you mean" was in reference to Give a poor timekeepers an extra hour in the morning, and they would just faff even more

Which is very, very true

Edam - "Punctual people - what's it go to do with you if someone else's child is late?"

Because late people disrupt the school day for the whole class, including my punctual children.

But how long can it take to eat breakfast? even for a three year old. Maybe we're talking at cross purposes here. I dont advocate having a battleground around food either.

We all get up at 7 am, breakfast is around 7.20-7.30 and we don't need to leave the house till 8.30 at the earliest so if one of the children was a particularly slow eater they still have at least 3/4 hour to finish their breakfast still leaving time for getting dressed, teeth, hair, shoes etc. Surely no child needs to be eating breakfast for longer than 3/4 hour? If they want to eat thats plenty of time, if they don't want to eat they can stop. They'll eat later.

The whole family isn;t going to suffer because of one member wanting to dictate what they are or aren't prepared to do, its just not fair.

Someone earlier made a point about arriving late because you had 9am as the school start time, whereas the poster arrived on-time because she had 8.50am as her goal. That's obvious I suppose, but it wasn't until I was 1 minute late (literally) and made to sign the 'late book' in reception year that I made this connection. Since then, we have never been late.

I used to be a terrible time-keeper (one of those people who'd you ask to arrive half an earlier than you needed) but have got really punctual since having children. Having routine forced upon me has been A Good Thing.

What I don't get, is awards/penalties for lateness or attendance in primary school, particularly infants. The poor children have no control over these things. Come to think of it, the same thing applies with school uniform. The children can't go out and buy their own because they're in school, not working and earning. Am I missing something?

Who said I wiped her arse for her? I have dressed her before, i.e put her shoes & socks on, or done her buttons up on her shirt/dress. Put her jumper over her head. In a bid to make her see how important it is that she is dressed & out the door on time, on my say so. They are my rules. My rule is that she is at school before the bell. That's non negotiable.

Gee, you are acting like my dd is 14. She is 8! Fully capable of dressing herself, washing herself, wiping her arse, but she needs a push now & then, what 8yr old doesn't? She can also get her self in & out of the bath/shower etc, doesn't mean I leave it to her to decide when to have one, because you can bet it will be days before she does, because she is 8. She hasn't yet grasped the importance of doing that kind of stuff..which is where I come in.

You don't get it, that's fine, but I don't get your lax attitude about being late & potentially disruptive to the rest of the class. And I can how that is potentially setting your dc up for a life time of being lax & having no respect for rules. Neither of our choices are guaranteed to have the outcome we desire in years to come. But this isn't about years to come really, this is about her education. And with that, comes being at school on time.

Gosh I really want to print off this thread, highlight the bits about it affecting all the kids in the class when one child is persistently late, and hand it to an acquaintance of mine whose daughter is in my sons year ......... Wonder if she is forceslover ? Meanie ol me!!

DD was late this morning. Just missed the bus literally by moments. If we could drive, or were close enough to walk, she would still have easily been on time, but missing the bus makes you then 20 minutes later than you would have been, rather than just 30 seconds later.

I know one should aim to get to the bus stop with plenty of time - and sometimes it happens! - but there are always things that can slow you down (DD needs a poo/ gets her zip stuck trying to do her coat up/ DD2 needs a feed or a nappy change, or refuses to be put down so I am doing everything one-handed/ there's loads of traffic and so you have to wait for ages to get across the road to the bus stop etc etc which mean rushing just to get to the bus stop in time.
DD has to be there insanely early anyway - doors open at 7.15 and she has to be there by 7.30 (we're not in the UK), so we already have to get up and leave in the pitch dark. I hate the stress of being late and having to rush in the morning - I wish I didn't care about it and was happy to saunter up late. But there you go, much as I hate it, it happens sometimes.