People who are late for school every day or almost every day.

[MrsJAlfredPrufrock]

Why don't you just get up 15 mins earlier?

I shall be posting him to you first class.

I used to be late to secondary school every day. My mum suffered from severe depression and didn't get out of bed till late and was generally slow to get ready and late to set off. Of course, being a teenager I was hardly lightening out the door. She drive me to school every day which was around 10 miles away.

I found it embarrassing to be told off every time I entered the classroom of a morning.

Anyway, to whoever it was that said this sets people up for 'a lifetime of lateness'.. This isn't true in my case. I have been on time for every job I ever had and was on time for college/Uni etc.

You don't always know people's situations.

I really don't get why it matters tbh

Cory - Three of the families who are always late at my children's school I know v well, the children don't have SN nor is there any background 'story' in mitigation. So please stop being patronising

No, I'm not a morning person, but am rarely late for things. LeQueen, how did you sort out your dh's lateness? I would love some tips, as my dh is also very disorganised/often late for things. Ds and I are usually punctual, as I am organised, but the only times we are ever late for anything are when we have to wait for dh who isn't ready (despite knowing what time we need to leave etc).

And I suppose after a week with you all those lazy paraplegics would get up and walk too LeQueynte ?

Blah fucking blah.

Got room for another DH in your bootcamp LeQ?

Having been a regular late person, I changed this by simply accepting the fact that young children need lots of time to get started in the morning. Everything takes twice as long - a simple instruction such as 'put your shoes on' can take 10 minutes to happen.

When I was nannying I would often arrive and the children were still in bed at 7.45, the lights out and the curtains drawn. Eventually I had to drive them in because the mother wouldn't get them up earlier (or to bed earlier as I found out).

I did recognise this as I did it myself. When they are younger you do everything for them and it's all quite quick but as they get independence it all takes twice as long but you need to allow them time otherwise you end up frazzled and shouty.

Partly with the help of flylady, the concept of planning the day before dawned on me. If I want them to be fully awake and functioning at 7.30 I need to wake them at 7.00 If I want them to be awake at 7.00 they need to go to bed a the latest at 9.00. The way I judge this is to check at weekends to see what time they naturally wake, and that is an estimate of the amount of sleep they really need.

Frazzled and shouty is possibly what these late parents try to avoid - and I can understand that, but it's not the right way to deal with it. If only I had flylady a few years earlier (or an alternative less churchy-midleamerica-1950s version) life would have been a lot easier.

It's not fair to let children be late for school, but it's equally not fair for them to feel frazzled and pushed so they just need lots of TIME.

In answer to the thread title, YABU if you are annoyed, because these people need a bit of pity and a bit of help. People do care, even though it doesn't appear that they do.

DD has recently started wanting to play before school - I've used that as an incentive, so that she can only play when she is completely ready including coat/shoes.

I agree with the idea of not having too much time (so that you get too relaxed) - I don't think it is like that in our case. Mind you I was amazed how quickly I got ready when I overslept last Monday - I leave for work at 7.30 and only woke up at 10 past! Thank goodness I'd showered the night before and we happened to be on a recently-done-lots-of-laundry phase. I am terrible at laundry

I wouldn't want to generally be up later though, especially as I hope to go FT soon. I feel like I barely see my DCs as it is, so being up with them and doing the little things like DD's hair DH is crap at it anyway mean a lot to me :)

My mum used to get us to school late (primary). So one morning I got so annoyed, I walked about and went by myself (I was about 8). After that, I took me and my brother (only a 10-15 min walk with a lollipop lady for the main road).

I really hate being late - I also hate being just in time (dh does this). I've got an 8 week old baby and have been 5 mins late to DS's preschool twice. Both times due to unexpected traffic problems! I do start get readyabout 45 mins beforehand though (as in we're already washed, dressed etc just have to pack and persuade baby to get in her carseat )

I am like you fuzzpig, my girls like to play in the morning but I make sure they are completely ready, shoes on, teeth cleaned and have done a wee before they can sit down

It really amazes me that some people just don't care at all, if it was just then being late then that is their problem but to make their children late every day is just plain selfish.

Our neighbours are like that, their children are not SN or anything, the mother is just lazy. I remember once I was rushing my DD to school as I didn't want to be late and she was moaning I was going too quick as we passed this woman and her children strolling along the road, as we passed she said in a loud voice "that's why I don't bother rushing, I would rather you were late than have you moaning". That just about sums up the attitude of some people, they aren't worried about anything except and easy life and their children suffer for it.

When I was younger (teens/early 20s) I was always late for things because I was pretty lazy, I couldn't be bothered to get anywhere on time or rush myself. But then I grew up and realised my laziness was impacting on other people and that I ws being selfish to not care. It's a shame that some other people don't grow up too and start thinking about other people than themsleves!

Poor you Izzy. I must say my nanny charges used to really enjoy getting in early which they said rarely happened with Mum.

Being on time is not about being a "Perfect Parent" as someone sarcastically put it earlier in the thread. Surely ensuring your child arrives at school on time is just a basic parental responsibility??

I used to be late regularly with small DS. Then a few things occurred to me.

I did not live in a commune at home where everyone took responsibility for things. Small children don't really know how long they are taking. I looked around: the bathroom needed cleaning, the kitchen needed cleaning, etc. Suddenly realised I was a MOTHER, and the condition of the house, my children, even the atmosphere in the home all depended on ONE person. And it wasn't DH. So I gave up and took total control. Now everything works and the atmosphere can sometimes even be described as calm, pleasant, even fun. When the children grow up they will remember the general "feeling" at home.

I'm not sure now that I can ever give the control back. So I will be one of those bossy middle aged women..

Of course it is - but some parents need educating! Telling parents to 'get up 15 minutes earlier' is a bit, well, simplistic.

I have a theory about this - The closer people live to the school, the later they will get their children to school.

I live two minutes walk from school - not been late so far. I think it's more about having a latest time to leave the house.

I agree some people have issues going on in their lives. Not all people want to tell other parents at the school why they're late often. You dont know where all of them live so maybe there is a long drive/walk? Maybe the way they assumed would be quicker in fact isnt? Where i live there is a lot of one way systems on the road around the town and close to the school. Its a nightmare, there is limited parking outside peoples houses, on double yellow lines all along the road, but it gets their kids to school. Yes they're late but it gets them in. Id rather send DD in late if i was running late than not send her in at all. One of my friends keeps her son off school for the whole day if they run any later than 9:30. She quite often has told me not to come over cause they had a lay-in & missed the time to be getting to school.

Although it is a 10 minute drive from DS's school, I am literally around the corner from DD's nursery. I wouldn't DARE be late as I know everyone knows where I live and would wonder why the hell I couldn't get my act together to be there on time!!

Well you may be the exception to the rule then WoTmania, My friend used to live half an hour walk from the school, her daughter was always one of the first in. Now she is in the next road, can see her class room from her garden and I often see her arriving right at the very last minute looking flustered as i am leaving. I also guage my arrival on mums i see walking back, we have a ten minute drop off window - if i see certain mums having dropped off their children, i know we need to get a wriggle on. I think if you have more children and more to do in the mornings, you will also arrive earlier as you have to be more organised.

Saying that i have theories about a lot of things in life, and they are often wrong

Gosh you are all such good responsible parents! Gold stars all round!

Well I certainly try to be a good responsible parent. Surely that is what we should all be aiming for isn't it?

Love the username Sootica - I used to love that book!