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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Child in car alone

106 replies

yummumto3girls · 23/01/2012 11:19

Right, deep breath, never posted in AIBU so be constructive please!

I have just come back from doing my weekly supermarket shop. As I walked in to the supermarket I noticed a young child sat in a car seat in a car on his own. Not sure how old but certainly below 4. The child was crying. I walked in to the entrance of the supermarket and decided to look back to check if someone had returned to the car, but they hadn't, so I stood for a while longer. I was concerned about the child so in the end spoke to the customer service desk just in side and said I was concerned about the child in the car alone. The customer services lady walked over to the car, the child was still crying, another member of public expressed her concern. The customer services lady then put a call out over the tannoy for them to return to the car. A few minutes later a lady appeared and explained that she could not bring the child in as he "would be a nightmare" and she was doing her shopping as quickly as she could. I said that she shouldn't leave a child in the car alone for that long, to which she responded that she was going to sort her child out and was then going to continue doing her shopping. She annoyed me at this point because it seemed so normal just to leave him in the car, and that he was crying. I said that if she did return to do her shopping leaving her child in the car that I would call the police (probably a little over top of me I know).

Now don't get me wrong, I have 3 children and do leave them in the car when I nip in to a shop, but it is always where I can see the car and literally for a few minutes. Today we were at a main supermarket and she was doing her main shop, whilst small child is in the car. If she had returned looking really stressed I might have had some sympathy and thought she was struggling, but she was impeccably dressed and made up, and talked very calmly. I feel rubbish now for interfering, it is not something I normally do, so was I BU for interfering?

OP posts:
Sluttybuttons · 24/01/2012 15:08

I had a sling when they were little but it totally killed my back. I dont see leaving them for a minute a risk. They are in their seats and i can see the car. They dont get distressed and my car doesnt have an alarm cos its shite . I do have enough food and nappies etc to do me till tomorrow when i get money but i will need to go to the shop and get more.

mathanxiety · 24/01/2012 16:13

MrsHeffley, I was a trolley abandoner too. Some times of the day are worse for shopping than others. I found that mid mornings usually meant fairly empty carparks.

Davsmum · 24/01/2012 16:27

I don't think you are paranoid wineandroses.
Anything could happen in a 'few' minutes.
Cars have been stolen with babies inside, I have seen reports of that in the past. I will try to find the 'evidence' that people seem to need before they deem anything a risk !
It doesn't matter if it has happened to anyone before anyway - Things CAN happen.
Police tell people not to leave valuables showing inside their car and yet people obviously do not class their children as valuables ? Strange.

RainboweBrite · 24/01/2012 17:49

Was very tempted to leave DS asleep in the car at the weekend while we popped into a café across the road (and within sight) for coffee and cake... but we managed to wake him in the end. As he is 9, what would people think about this?

In OP's case, YANBU.

trixie123 · 24/01/2012 20:17

I don't think anyone has disagreed with the OP that she was NBU (though I think calling the police would be an over-reaction) but we have to make distinctions for different cases / ages of children / exact circumstances etc. Someone asked higher up the thread why we gamble with our children's saftey in relation to this issue but we take calculated risks all the time - just having them in the car in the first place is a risk (and far more likely to be crashed into when moving with you in the car than when its parked), anytime we let them on a slide or do anything out of our sight as they get older, leaving them with nurseries etc there is ALWAYS a slight risk - even home with us, we could slip and fall down stairs and be unconscious and the baby could be unattended for hours - tell you what, why don't we just never take them home from hospital in the first place? Really, things are getting ludicrous when people move their car from the pump (which someone said they do) before paying to put it next to the shop or drag three kids the length of a car park to find a trolley rather than leave them for a moment in a locked car. Yes some people get it wrong but the "slippery slope" argument that if you allow one bit of "leaving them alone" it will spiral into dangerous neglect is ridiculous.

Vinomum · 24/01/2012 20:20

Well put trixie. Would we even want to leave them in hospital though - MRSA anyone?!

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