to think this is a bit off and should I try to help ?

[OhdearNigel]

NDN leaves her two children (about 22 months and 8 months respectively) locked in their bedrooms to scream for an hour every day so she can have some time to herself. She thinks it makes them independant and realise that Mummy is not there all the time - I have heard it every night for nearly 2 years so clearly this is not working and it's very distressing to listen to them both crying. The eldest gets so hysterical calling for Mummy that you can hear that awful gasping breathing that they do when they are really upset.

AIBU to think that (a) this is not normal behaviour (b) is this something that my other neighbour (my friend, her DD is 2.5) and I should try and help with ? We both have very different opinions on the topic to NDN and my neighbour has tried giving her some advice which has fallen on deaf ears. We thought about inviting her over for coffee and play at my house but not really sure whether we really want to get involved.

I think going to her HV would be overreacting but then could this be a sign of PND and it might help ? Her DS has cerebral palsy so things have been very difficult for her.

I feel as if I should not just sit by but I don't know how to approach things

Social services. That's shocking. Someone with more detailed advice will be along shortly I'm sure

also - I am rather "treehugging" in my parenting style and passionately disagree with CC/CIO so I should also say that I am cannot approach the matter neutrally. DH thinks I should mind my own business

Social Services, definitely. That's neglect and it's horrible to even think of littlies being left for such a long time.

She clearly needs help but I wouldn't involve yourself directly, I would just make the call, anonymously if needs be.

Oh I wouldn't know what to do but I want to cry thinking of it. I am all for children with a bit of independence but i am only starting that with SD aged 3 now and only in little (age appropriate) ways!

That's not CC/CIO, that's locking your babies up so you don't have to deal with them. There is a massive difference.

Ds even

upsetting to read and i am usually a tough nut! please contact SS. poor hildren

Social services! I'd be tempted to call the police to deal with bloody woman

I'm so shocked and I can't actually believe you've waited nearly 2 years before thinking about doing something

Do you know who her HV is?

Sounds to me like she's not coping very well.

Leo, I only realised it was actually deliberate yesterday when other neighbour was over for coffee and she repeated what NDN had said to her about it.
Previously I just thought it was because she was struggling and that her DD was difficult to get to sleep etc.

So I am more than willing to contact SS but how would I go about it ?

Omg, that is really shocking and has upset me, god knows how you must feel listening to it every day. I would definitely call social services, they are much to young to be left.

Sparkly, it actually makes me feel physically sick. DD has started noticing it and pointing at the wall saying "poor baby" :(

Look up your local department online or maybe in the Yellow Pages?

That is fucking horrible.

I would involve SS too, those poor little ones.

You pick up the phone and dial the number. You will be asked what your concerns are.

CC does not leave a baby crying until he s gasping for breath.
I am anti CC myself, but even so it doesn't take years for it to work.

Something is very very wrong here. a baby left to cry will get the hint within a matter of weeks. if they are still upset like that after a year then something is not right

I've got a friend who works in CPT (I work for the police) so I think I will email him the details to pass on.

Talk about over reaction. No, I wouldn't do it but its not that bad, hardly requires SS. She is probably much in need of a break and that might be the only one she gets, prehaps things would be much worse without it.

rubbish saturdayescape

The problem with phoning ss is that she is not actually harming them and except to tell her to stop, what could they actually do? Actual question.

She has a husband that is a teacher and home every evening and weekend, her children go to nursery a couple of sessions a week (she is a SAHM) and she is always out and about at groups so no, it's not that she doesn't have a break

What a load of twaddle saturdayescape they are babies for god sake.

Hideous hideous hideous. I disagree with CC etc but can understand those who do it (nit CIO though tbh) but this makes me sad just to think of it. I can't imagine there is anything anyone can or will do about it though.

How can she relax, hearing that and knowing how unhappy they are?

What part is rubbish? What about people who use CIO? Sometimes Mnetter get into a group hysteria, not helpful.