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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this mum is a bit bonkers!!

276 replies

Dartfordmummy · 20/01/2012 16:52

Don't know if there is already a thread on this but am a bit Shock about this story!!

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2089474/Its-boy-Couple-brought-child-gender-neutral-reveal-sex-The-Infant--keeping-secret-FIVE-YEARS.html

Poor Sasha Sad

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 20/01/2012 19:43

the other article says overtly male clothes are banned. overtly female ones are not banned. that is not NEUTRAL.

exoticfruits · 20/01/2012 19:46

If I was having neutral gender clothes and toys ballet shoes and fairy wings wouldn't be in the house.

Hullygully · 20/01/2012 19:46

Read the link Special Branch posted. it's explained there.

thebestisyettocome · 20/01/2012 19:46

I am trying to look at this from a detached point of view. I'm not saying I'm the world's leading authority on it but I can see through the DM prism and pick out the basic facts. I'm fucked off that you are swanning in and out of this thread and sneering at those who disagree with you and insinuating we are all a bit thick

Hullygully · 20/01/2012 19:47

goodness how sad

exoticfruits · 20/01/2012 19:47

Actually ballet shoes might be-but not pink ones.

samandi · 20/01/2012 19:48

If I was having neutral gender clothes and toys ballet shoes and fairy wings wouldn't be in the house

Um, ballet shoes are gender neutral ... or don't you think males can do ballet?

samandi · 20/01/2012 19:48

Oops, sorry :-)

Hullygully · 20/01/2012 19:48

I'm not sneering btw, I'm DESPAIRING

Hullygully · 20/01/2012 19:49

And, I genuinely apologise if I seem sneering.

It is just despair.

thebestisyettocome · 20/01/2012 19:50

Same thing Hully dontcha think I feel the same way

catgirl1976 · 20/01/2012 19:51

i am not frothing - i just think this woman is deluded if she thinks she has been bringing him up "gender neutral" whilst banning overtly male clothes and encouraging overtly feminine ones. if that's her idea of neutral she is a fuckwit.

thebestisyettocome · 20/01/2012 19:52

And please don't feel any despair on my behalf Hully. It really isn't necessary.

catgirl1976 · 20/01/2012 19:54

hully - you are coming across like you assume anyone who thinks this woman is not bringing her child up to be gender neutral has some sort of issue with boys wearing "girls" clothing or playing with "girls" toys which is not the case

McPie · 20/01/2012 19:56

But if you were going to raise a gender neutral child then wouldn't all traditional boy/girl toys or clothes be a no go zone? To me neutral is neither so the child would be in clothes you couldn't put a gender to, dress up would be post person or police officer and toys would be what the child wanted to play with rather than something that ticks their gender box.

exoticfruits · 20/01/2012 19:57

I just googled. The woman is an attention seeker-I was right all along! She was in the Sun, Telegraph, Cambridge News to name just a few. The poor child.Sad

Try telling me that isn't an attention seeking woman with an Agenda (and possibly attention seeking father)Hmm

tardisjumper · 20/01/2012 19:58

I agree that it is not exactly gender neutral.

I grew up in Stoke Newington in the 90s (talk about first world problem) and I had one good friend who had a lovely but very gender focused mother. She 'was encouraged to be gender neutral' and this involved short hair and football obsessions. In my opinion not that neutral. Would have been fine if it had been mixed with SOMETHING feminine or genuinly neutral but she was activly anti girl.

And a male friend who was the same. Long blonde hair and really into barbies.

Oh the pain of a 90s liberal childhood!

(My parents made me call my fanjo my willy so I wouldn't get penis envy!)

SpecialBranch · 20/01/2012 20:00

Well, to be fair to her exoticfruits the Cambridge Evening News scavange about 90% of their material from other newspapers these days Hmm Grin

ReduceRecycleRegift · 20/01/2012 20:00

no matter the spin, it is my opinion that it is wrong to push someone into gender steriotypes, it is also wrong to deny a gender like this.

I grew up wearing what DS wears, shorts and tees in the summer, bright knits under dungarees in the winter.. was no big deal, that's what I remember everyone in late 70s early 80s wearing, think Drew Barrymore in ET..
My gender was not made a big deal out of, NEITHER was it denied

I however went to school with a boy whose parents made a big deal about him being raised GN and repeatedly told him that it was okay for him to be a girl if he wanted to, they never said it was okay for him to be a BOY if he wanted to though. He was not allowed to cut his hair short

So maybe I'm projecting a bit of my personal encounters with people who make an ISSUE out of GN upbringings rather than just getting on with it and making it less of an issue

PearsBeaufort · 20/01/2012 20:01

When I was 17 (just like the song) I read the Daily Mail. When I was 21 (la la la) I got raped and the DM enjoyed themselves with it, so I don't read it any more.

Basing any argument on an article in that paper is pointless, even though this particular point is important. Children know who they are, and should dress how they want and they shouldn't be bullied out of it, whether by peers or well-meaning parents.

ReduceRecycleRegift · 20/01/2012 20:03

they have ended up HIGHLIGHTING this childs gender and made if forever more a talking point rather than quietly got on with raising him without it being a big deal

foglike · 20/01/2012 20:04

In the article posted by special branch it states that this woman is A self-confessed ?radical feminist? so would it be fair to say she's making a political statement at the expense of her son?

Another pointer would be this...

But she also admits to an ulterior motive: to make mums who choose overtly ?girly? garb for their daughters think about what they?re doing.

She's asking mothers of girls to consider why their little charges are bought pink when she dresses a boy in pink?

Warped and delusional springs to mind.

Bathsheba · 20/01/2012 20:06

There are truly gender neutral toys - plain wooden blocks, empty yogurt pots, musical instruments, paint, paper, crayons etc, sand and water tables, plain tennis balls, stones, sticks...

There are truly gender neutral clothes - plain jeans, red/White/black tshirts. Oatmeal/natural coloured things. Even bright yellow.

Those are actually gender neutral. What we see here in the article isn't gender neutral. Having the choice of a fairy dress/flowery top ISN'T gender neutral. Fairy dresses, dolls, trains, 'boys clothes' shouldn't even be in the picture as they aren't neutral.

If they are trying to genuinely do some sort of social experiment or whatever they should at least do it right..!!

ReduceRecycleRegift · 20/01/2012 20:07

agree foglike, if you are against the pinky fairy princess invasion don't buy it, for a girl or boy?

thebestisyettocome · 20/01/2012 20:09

ReduceRecycleRegift, Bathseba and fog like I totally agree.

As for those who don't, I DESPAIR Grin