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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to loathe the smuggery that goes with any G&T post

164 replies

FunnysInTheGarden · 19/01/2012 23:25

' oh my dc is miles and miles ahead of her peers, but I really want her to keep it real and mix with the thick folk just so that she understands that we are all different. Obv she'll move to private for her GCSE's'

FFS, when I was young there was no G&T and we all got on with it. I would have been a G&T type, but so glad there wasn't the distinction then. Tis shite

OP posts:
GrownUp2012 · 20/01/2012 12:39

Thank you, I'm pretending I'm upset because I have to go back and face all those people again after being a knob end this morning, but to be honest I am just worried about my daughter getting a label as the horrible child and nobody liking her.

Anyway... continue, no self pity hijack allowed....

Evilclown · 20/01/2012 12:40

P.S am now in love with pagwatch, I so agree with what she has written...

SoupDragon · 20/01/2012 12:41

What I find interesting about the G&T register at DSs school is that he isn't on it! I'm not being smug, honest, but he is taken out for extended maths with a small number of pupils from his year (less than 10%) yet isn't, apparently, counted as G&T (exactly the same scenario with DS1). The others must be phenomenally bright :o

Don't get me wrong - I don't actually care whether he's on it or not. I"m more than happy with how things have gone for him anyway. I think he is bright rather than gifted anyway.

WibblyBibble · 20/01/2012 12:54

I am smug about having a 'g&t' daughter, due to the fact that most people think because I am a single mother who had her before I was 35 and without some wanky career in london and a 5 bed house, she must actually be a delinquent who sets fire to old ladies on the weekend. Whereas in fact (and proving that there is still funding for this) she is sent to various 'enrichment' things via school with local university and art workshop things etc and spends weekends, er, attaching sheep skulls she's found on walks to the fence with wire to make the annoying neighbours think we are satanists but never mind that bit. If you want me to be less smug, by all means feel free to stop the wank on here (and everywhere else) about 'single mums' and 'benefit scroungers' with 'feral uneducated children'. It's entirely a response to that.

Evilclown · 20/01/2012 12:58

I second that wibblybibble, except I am not smug. But good on you.

gordyslovesheep · 20/01/2012 12:58

I am not smug - it's a real challenge for DD1 and myself - she has problems with behaviour in and out of school and is constantly frustrated and in a 'twist' she is educationally advanced but emotionally she is not

the devil makes work for idle hands ... sums her up nicely

there are also issues about starting senior school early etc etc which is looming

I am proud of her but I am far from smug

mybabywakesupsinging · 20/01/2012 13:00

ds1 is in year 2 and is apparently considerably better at maths than me (I did O level at 11). He has had minimal input from the school (occassionally his maths homework is different from the rest of the class but is still a doddle for him; my 4 year old does it...). He's "officially" G&T but as far as I can see it makes not a jot of difference to his teaching.
With no "G&T" label then invented, my primary school noticed the level I was working at and organised the exam. My (comprehensive) secondary school then timetabled me so that I could do maths with the 6th form. And taught me latin + spanish extra.
I don't think G&T is anything more than words and it all comes down to what your school/teacher can be bothered/has time to do.

ClothesOfSand · 20/01/2012 13:03

SoupDragon, DS is predicted A* in some GCSEs and he has never been G&T at school. I think this is right; he has never been in the top 10% of his class. Certainly at Primary school there were four very bright girls and one who was really exceptional. As his year group was less than 20 children, it was right that he was not considered G&T within that cohort.

I don't see a problem with G&T at all. There are additional challenges for them in accessing education that is appropriate.

ClothesOfSand · 20/01/2012 13:07

Well done to you and your DD Wibble.

The best revenge is a life lived well.

Miggsie · 20/01/2012 13:10

There is a big difference between parents who have decided their child is G&T and those children that truly are ahead, often 3-5 years ahead of their peers by the age of 6.

I never discuss DD's abilities now in RL with anyone except her teachers and DH as you really get shot down in flames.

gordyslovesheep · 20/01/2012 13:11

aint that so Miggsie

NinkyNonker · 20/01/2012 13:18

All G&T is in many schools is an indicator to the teacher, if the year isn't streamed. So the teacher knows to give more developed, or more challenging work to those students. Likewisebfor those with SEN, it is a mark against a name in a register that that child requires tailored work for whatever reason.

So it isn't a license for a parent to assume their child is the next Einstein, it just means that compared to their peers (will vary depending on school etc) that child has a talent/is doing well in that subject.

I have never seen a group of G&T parents.

LeQueen · 20/01/2012 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exoticfruits · 20/01/2012 14:16

I don't think it is anything to do with G&T -it is more a case of 'competitive mummy'.
However if I was Wibbly I would enjoy feeling smug. Grin
I find that the genuinely G&T usually have very unassuming parents-the sort who wouldn't make any assumptions about Wibbly. They are secure and have nothing to prove. (If they are truly G&T the parent understands that it can be a mixed blessing.)

laptopdancer · 20/01/2012 14:20

I am pleased to say that my ds' school doesnt even have a g&t register and doesnt go in for it. Its a pretty high pressured and academic school so i think they just expect all kids to be high achievers.

WilsonFrickett · 20/01/2012 14:33

There is a big difference between parents who have decided their child is G&T and those children that truly are ahead - well said Miggsie

exoticfruits · 20/01/2012 15:05

Exactly Miggsie.

The G&T register is silly, someone on it in one school could be merely average in another.

LeQueen · 20/01/2012 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MamaMaiasaura · 20/01/2012 15:24

[biacuit]

entropygirl · 20/01/2012 15:25

Lequeen I just stole your comment about wanting to swap your DD's uniqueness so that she would blend in for my half dead thread on how CONFORM is the MN message.

I think it is very sad that parents feel this way.

Perhaps if we weren't so desperate for our DC's to fit in, they wouldn't learn that conforming is the be all and end all, and bullying would be drastically reduced.

MamaMaiasaura · 20/01/2012 15:25

Biscuit even fucking phone

LeQueen · 20/01/2012 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

entropygirl · 20/01/2012 15:31

Man there has to be a better solution than going up a class(es). You are being taught in the same way and it's not like it's substantially harder. And what do you do when you are 14 and done with A-levels. More and different would surely be better than the same faster?

entropygirl · 20/01/2012 15:33

My parents had the option to put me up a class and I am forever grateful that they didn't.

whatanewyear · 20/01/2012 15:43

Many of the posters on this section have genuine concerns and are certainly not smug even if their DC's are in top1%. I would certainly choose friends and happiness for my DC's over any G & T or high IQ etc. It breaks my heart to see the lack of friends and party invites especially as he can see his siblings with friends and wants the same.