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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that this man is a bit too much

101 replies

LittleMissLoserMagnet · 18/01/2012 18:25

I met a man working at a local shop, he seemed nice and we got talking, we arranged a date and although we had never met out of this shop, even from the start he was full on. We had gone bowling, which I'm crap at, my first bowl was a gutter ball which he felt he had console me with a kiss and a cuddle, which I felt was a bit too forward for a first date.. this happened for every good and every bad bowl, which made for a very uncomfortable evening as I'm not really an outwardly touchy feely person, but I tried to not let it bother me, because I do like it when I am close to someone I like them to be affectionate and didn't want to make him not be like that if things went any further..

The next time I saw him, he came over to mine to watch a film with me, he brought with him a bottle of coke, with vodka poured in (this man is almost 30) and we cuddled up on the sofa. I don't mind this, but he has his arm around me, holding both of my hands, had his knee pushed against mine, and his cheek pressed up against my cheek! I felt like a magnet being cuddled by iron filings!! He readjusted to me every time i tried to get a bit more space, he was so close we were actually breathing each others air!

Every time I turned to look at him he was gazing at me like THIS

Every now and then he would kiss me, turning it into a snog which he pressed his face into mine so much I couldn't even kiss him back if I wanted to, and when I moved my head back he came with me until I was completely against the sofa, so I put my hand on his neck and tried to gently push him away, instead of taking the hint he just carried on pushing. I think if I had been standing up I would have been tempted to knee him in the balls!
When the film finished it was silent, so I put another on, when that one finished I tried to make conversation, I just got dead end answers.

at 00.40ish the other night I was in bed and got a text from him saying he was outside, I stayed quiet and pretended I was asleep. The next night he did it again, but I was in the front of the house and he could clearly see I was up, I had just got out of the shower and was toweled up, I told him that he couldn't come in because I'd just got out the shower, but when I opened the door he just came in.. kept hugging and kissing me at the door until he realised I wasn't going to invite him in further then he went.

The other night I was at an evening course, whist there I got a series of texts from him, the brief conversation went
Him "I thought you were on your course"
Me "I'm there now"
Him "Your car has just driven past me"
Me "I hope not otherwise I can't get home, lol"
Him "Well it looked like it, sorry I asked"
Me "I just checked, it's outside, lol"
Him "ok cool"
(My car is quite recognisable, I don't see how he could have got it mixed up)

He wanted to come here tonight, so I made an excuse, I asked him what he was up to, he responded with "nothing now"

I have ignored any calls, texts, pokes and indirect facebook status's since but I'm a bit worried he's going to turn up at my house at some point..

Your thoughts on this strange man please, he is too much isn't he!

OP posts:
LittleMissLoserMagnet · 18/01/2012 18:26

Woah! A bit long, sorry, I got into rant mode. Blush

OP posts:
Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 18/01/2012 18:27

wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to much. YABU to think that he is anything BUT too much.

Not sure how you are going to get shot of him, though.

TheLastNameLeft · 18/01/2012 18:28

He is wierd, move on..end of

ElectricSoftParade · 18/01/2012 18:28

Yes, he is. What are you going to do? Personally I would be feeling very, very uncomfortable and running for the hills.

Gigondas · 18/01/2012 18:28

Yep - he is too much. Love the name

mumblechum1 · 18/01/2012 18:28

Waaaaaay to keen.
I do love his puppy eyes though.

I think you need to tell him he's being a bit suffocating and tell him exactly what you want him to change. If he does, great, if not, asta la vista

cocolepew · 18/01/2012 18:29

Keep your doors locked and ignore!

KirstiesHomeMadeCrap · 18/01/2012 18:29

Run!!! Run like a wind.

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 18/01/2012 18:31

Run away! Like Forrest Gump. Seriously, wow, that's too full on.

AmberLeaf · 18/01/2012 18:31

Yes he is. very much so.

Tell him its not working out for you and dont engage with him, block and delete if you need to.

He sounds like a nightmare.

ViviPru · 18/01/2012 18:31

Hmm For real? You think he's "too much"? Talk about understatement of the year.

Continue to ignore him. Tell all of your RL friends & family about the situation so they are prepared and can act if he does turn up.

Its after the horses bolted, I know, but the mind boggles as to why on earth you invited him to your home after you'd been made to feel physically uncomfortable on a date with him.

OriginalJamie · 18/01/2012 18:32

Erm - YEESSSSS. He is worryingly too much. Keep a record of his texts and make it crystal clear you do not want to go out with him again. He doesn't seem to get "hints", so I would text him, rather than hoping he'll get the hint.

I wouldn't normally advise texting to communicate in this way, but given that he was so physically pushy the last time it might be a good idea.

LittleMissLoserMagnet · 18/01/2012 18:33

He works in the only place for several miles that I can get petrol from!

Mental note: don't even consider dating people that you have to see regularly in case they turn out to be a weirdy weirdo

Argh, please god don't let him come to mine tonight!

OP posts:
OriginalJamie · 18/01/2012 18:33

Don't let him in, seriously.

Boomerwang · 18/01/2012 18:36

I agree with everyone else. I wouldn't even bother to give him another chance after you let him know how you feel. Honestly, just cut your losses right now, don't let it go on.

He's a dirty leech who wants to own you - don't let it happen.

LittleMissLoserMagnet · 18/01/2012 18:36

He seems to 'interested'? in me, yet when I try to get to know him by asking him about stuff he likes, things he does, his life etc, he replies, but doesn't ask me anything back. It's like he is acting besotted, but isn't actually interested in actually getting to know me. Which bothers me a lot.

OP posts:
ThePathanKhansWitch · 18/01/2012 18:37

OOh fook. Run for the hills. Quick.

OriginalJamie · 18/01/2012 18:37

Well that sounds like he has some sort of MH problem. And the physical stuff is very worrying.

pictish · 18/01/2012 18:37

Oh em gee!

You're going to have to tell him thanks but no thanks.

He sounds abysmal!

fuzzpig · 18/01/2012 18:37

YANBU at all but I did love your magnet/iron filing analogy :o

BlueFergie · 18/01/2012 18:38

Jesus get out get out now. What an odd ball. Did smile at the vision of him welded to you on the couch though and the puppy eyes. Like something you'd see on the telly.

ViviPru · 18/01/2012 18:38

I can't believe you let someone you hardly know in your house at night when you were in a towel just out of the shower - someone who had previously made you feel physically uncomfortable - someone who rocked up outside your house at some ungodly hour the night before... Can you see that this is completely nuts?

pigletmania · 18/01/2012 18:39

Just tell him straight, that you don't want a relationship with him as it just would not work. Ignore his calls and delete his number and FB.

LadySybilDeChocolate · 18/01/2012 18:40

He sounds scary to be honest. Run as quickly as you can and don't look back.

LittleMissLoserMagnet · 18/01/2012 18:40

TBH my gut instinct told me he sounded like he could end up being controlling, as he seems so full on, yet getting so arsey with me when he thought he saw me and when I told him I was busy so couldn't see him.

Argh, he's calling me for the 5th time tonight Confused

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