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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that this man is a bit too much

101 replies

LittleMissLoserMagnet · 18/01/2012 18:25

I met a man working at a local shop, he seemed nice and we got talking, we arranged a date and although we had never met out of this shop, even from the start he was full on. We had gone bowling, which I'm crap at, my first bowl was a gutter ball which he felt he had console me with a kiss and a cuddle, which I felt was a bit too forward for a first date.. this happened for every good and every bad bowl, which made for a very uncomfortable evening as I'm not really an outwardly touchy feely person, but I tried to not let it bother me, because I do like it when I am close to someone I like them to be affectionate and didn't want to make him not be like that if things went any further..

The next time I saw him, he came over to mine to watch a film with me, he brought with him a bottle of coke, with vodka poured in (this man is almost 30) and we cuddled up on the sofa. I don't mind this, but he has his arm around me, holding both of my hands, had his knee pushed against mine, and his cheek pressed up against my cheek! I felt like a magnet being cuddled by iron filings!! He readjusted to me every time i tried to get a bit more space, he was so close we were actually breathing each others air!

Every time I turned to look at him he was gazing at me like THIS

Every now and then he would kiss me, turning it into a snog which he pressed his face into mine so much I couldn't even kiss him back if I wanted to, and when I moved my head back he came with me until I was completely against the sofa, so I put my hand on his neck and tried to gently push him away, instead of taking the hint he just carried on pushing. I think if I had been standing up I would have been tempted to knee him in the balls!
When the film finished it was silent, so I put another on, when that one finished I tried to make conversation, I just got dead end answers.

at 00.40ish the other night I was in bed and got a text from him saying he was outside, I stayed quiet and pretended I was asleep. The next night he did it again, but I was in the front of the house and he could clearly see I was up, I had just got out of the shower and was toweled up, I told him that he couldn't come in because I'd just got out the shower, but when I opened the door he just came in.. kept hugging and kissing me at the door until he realised I wasn't going to invite him in further then he went.

The other night I was at an evening course, whist there I got a series of texts from him, the brief conversation went
Him "I thought you were on your course"
Me "I'm there now"
Him "Your car has just driven past me"
Me "I hope not otherwise I can't get home, lol"
Him "Well it looked like it, sorry I asked"
Me "I just checked, it's outside, lol"
Him "ok cool"
(My car is quite recognisable, I don't see how he could have got it mixed up)

He wanted to come here tonight, so I made an excuse, I asked him what he was up to, he responded with "nothing now"

I have ignored any calls, texts, pokes and indirect facebook status's since but I'm a bit worried he's going to turn up at my house at some point..

Your thoughts on this strange man please, he is too much isn't he!

OP posts:
ViviPru · 18/01/2012 18:42

Answer. Tell him politely but firmly you're not interested. And get in the habit of not running your car so low of petrol you only have one choice of filling station (should heed my own advice there Confused )

WorraLiberty · 18/01/2012 18:42

I don't know what's weirder

Him or the fact you haven't dumped him by now

toddlerama · 18/01/2012 18:42

You do need to start taking your personal safety a bit more seriously. FGS don't answer the door to him. He sounds worrying.

OriginalJamie · 18/01/2012 18:43

Someone posted a list of red flags for abusive men, and the whole romantic gestures, falling in luurve quickly things was right up there.

OriginalJamie · 18/01/2012 18:43

What should she text ladies ? (if anything)

lifechanger · 18/01/2012 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JustHecate · 18/01/2012 18:44

He's the stalker type, I almost guarantee it. Disentangle yourself asap!

cookielove · 18/01/2012 18:45

I would be running, and if he was persistent i would also change my number.

Just telling you don't think this is working out, and you would rather just be friends, that way you can still be friendly with him if you see him in the petrol station, or you can avoid avoid avoid him and get petrol at time when he is not working Grin

OriginalJamie · 18/01/2012 18:45

I think what he's doing is already stalking.......

pigletmania · 18/01/2012 18:46

I would stay way clear of this relationship, sounds like it could cause you all sorts of trouble later on.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 18/01/2012 18:46

I'd be scared. Seriously.

Got to admire you restraint- I'd have bitten the creep if he'd carried on like that with me.

Get the hell away. Break it off, ignore his calls, delete and block him from FB. And don't answer your door to him, ever.

ViviPru · 18/01/2012 18:46

what worra & toddler said.

SHe needs to speak to him on the phone. I'm worried if she texts she'll open up a counter-productive dialogue but that would be so much more fun on here this evening

Boomerwang · 18/01/2012 18:49

You've seen the responses, OP. Unless this is a wind up you know what you should do.

LittleMissLoserMagnet · 18/01/2012 18:49

I let him in because his dad was outside and I felt as though I would be rude not to. I had no idea why his dad would drive out of the way for him to see me?

I should have probably pointed out before that he finished work at midnight, so those times he has turned up was when his dad was taking him home from work, he didn't just go head out at that time to see me. Not meaning to drip feed, I should have remembered to mention that.

OP posts:
ViviPru · 18/01/2012 18:50

I assumed he was on his way home from work. You've blindsided me with the Dad character suddenly joining this cast of freaks....

OriginalJamie · 18/01/2012 18:50

If she texts though, she'll have a record of what she said to him. I don't know the right thing to do. Just thinking aloud

ViviPru · 18/01/2012 18:52

Good point OJ, good point. Paper trail. Like it.

And there's no better way to wile away an evening than collectively helping a stranger on the internet ditch her weirdo stalker via text.

BeerTricksP0tter · 18/01/2012 18:52

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpikeInTheBasement · 18/01/2012 18:52

This reply has been deleted

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SpikeInTheBasement · 18/01/2012 18:53

This reply has been deleted

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MyOhMyOh · 18/01/2012 18:53

Be completely clear when you tell him it's not working out. Leave no room for argument or attempts to persuade you to give him another chance. He is scary and weird and you are only being polite because women are generally conditioned to be 'nice' and 'kind' and not tell bellends like this to fuck right off when they overstep the mark, as he clearly has done on several occasions.

Fuck. That.

LittleMissLoserMagnet · 18/01/2012 18:53

I haven't said I'm going out on another date with him, lol. I just don't hate myself that much Wink

Also, he did 'ask me out' and I told him that we would see how it goes as this was just after the first date, which I thought was waaay too soon to be analysing how things are going.

Don't worry MNers, I am getting rid!

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 18/01/2012 18:54

Well, you say yourself he's strange. Why do you actually want to be with him? You sound as if you have no say in the matter? It doesn't seem like it's going anywhere, sadly.

SpikeInTheBasement · 18/01/2012 18:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ViviPru · 18/01/2012 18:55

Uh oh - looks like Loser's rocked up at LittleMissLoserMagnet's door again....