to think that this is the most irritating question anyone can ask a heavily pregnant woman?

[PutThatCatOutNow]

In the last few weeks, it seems nearly everyone I have spoken to has uttered the words 'ooh you must be getting impatient' to me. DC is due tomorrow, of course I'm getting bloody impatient! It's coming from people who have had children as well and know that I am of course fed up and getting a tad impatient. So AIBU or just stupidly hormonal?

Snort at the Sneers!

I don't mind the regular questions, I probably bore people to death harping on about my pregnancies anyway.

I really don't like the "Was it planned?" I do find it rude especially from people you barely know. I have had it now for three out of four pregnancies I honestly think it's akin to asking "Do you take it up the arse?"

I agree with Garliccheese. I'm 27 weeks pg right now and I dont' care what people ask or say to me, but keep away from the bump (unless I say it's ok to touch it).

Last time when pg with DD some random just came up to feel my bump, I didn't even bloody know her. I was too shocked to say anything. That still make me cringe now.

Worst question was when I was a few days before my due date.

"Aint you dropped that yet?"

What a vile way to ask a pointless question.

"I really don't like the "Was it planned?" I do find it rude especially from people you barely know. I have had it now for three out of four pregnancies I honestly think it's akin to asking "Do you take it up the arse?"

You are so right!

One of my friends had been only just appointed a university lecturer and given no training at all on the pastoral side of things. The first thing he had to deal with was a student coming to see him to say she was pregnant. He panicked and the only thing he could think of to say was 'Do you know who the father is?'

"Don't you think you're rather selfish having such a big gap between them?"

Why don't people think before making this type of remark??

There is a 10 year gap between my children because I miscarried the others

I got irrationally angered about a trip to my local chemist when I was about 39 weeks. The lady look at me and said very surely "No, that baby's not ready to come out yet." I didn't tell her that I'd had my show that morning and was having mild contractions. Waters broke that night! If I hadn't been in early stages of labour it would have pissed me off even more - don't say that to a heavily pregnant stranger who just wants the baby out of her, you could make her cry!

I love how random members of the public can be so certain about things that a midwife doesn't have a clue about (sex of baby/number of babies before scan, exact day of birth etc)

YABU

They're showing polite interest that's all. I expect they couldn't give a shit really.

YANBU

When I was pregnant with DS3 MIL started ringing me at 37 weeks to ask "anything happening yet?"

Right up there with "are you sure there's only one in there?"

The thing is quenelle - the comments people are complaining are not polite! Some of them are downright rude.

at Tunip's friend!

I don't find most of these question that rude. Indeed "Was it planned" is rather intrusive, but you can find a million ways to answer to it without really answering it, iyswim.

Again, what is really important is the way they are asked.

Or we shall all stick to speaking about the weather and never exchange any kind of engaging personal info with other people in RL.

There are lots of nice questions or comments people could make.

Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?
How are you feeling?
Would you like to sit down while you wait?
You look lovely, pregnancy suits you!
How lovely for your dc to have a baby brother / sister.
Can we do anything to help?
What a neat bump.
Let me open that door for you, I can see its difficult with the buggy and the shopping.
Have you decided where you're having the baby?

People don't always think. But I don't think they mean to be rude - its just when we are pregnant, women's bodies are not subject to the usual social rules.we can be touched or commented about with impunity.

Aww Tanith :(

I hope you do say that to them and listen to the tumbleweed.

i apologise for this in advance....

i once said to a very pregnant lady in a lift who was huffing and puffing and generally couldnt stand up straight

' you're not going to have that in here are you?' (horrified at the thought of having to roll up my sleves in a filthy lift)

to which she replied...
'no i had it this morning, i've just been out for a fag.'

Oh

to be fair she didnt turn a hair, but i was mortified!

What would you like me to say then?

I didn't mind most of these questions when pregnant, people were just showing a kindly interest for the most part, albeit poorly phrased. However, I did get very angry with some delivery guys who consistently told me that I was having twins. I wasn't. Then having a good old laugh at my 'massive' actually quite small for full term according to MW bump and saying I'd need a team of doctors to 'drag the baby out of me'

We stopped buying online from that company. Their loss.

I agree hairytaleofnewyork that 'was it planned?' or 'don't you think that age gap is too big?' are rude.

But 'haven't you had it yet?' and the like are harmless smalltalk. 'Ain't you dropped that yet?' is a bit uncouth but it's not 'vile'.

Some women just pretend to take offence at any reference to their pregnancy.

Quenelle Do you actually think asking someone if they have had unprotected sex is taking polite interest?

I am horrified when people ask me this especially in front of my DD who is 11 and disgusted at her elderly parents (her words not mine I am 31 and DH is 34). What do they think I am going to say other than "Of course"?
Perhaps "Hell no, I fucked up big time with my injection date but Dh and I were so horny we chanced it, thought we'd be ok because I hadn't had a period due to breastfeeding DS2, turns out we were wrong? Nevermind eh, can I have £10 cashback and a bag for life please"

disgusted at her elderly parents still* doing it.

X-posts sorry for that now pointless rant

I think the answer to "was it planned?" is either "Yes" or "No, it was a lovely surprise!".

Nobody's asking for your gynaecological history or whether your DH could be arsed to get a condom out of his wallet.

YABabitU. People are just trying to show an interest and be friendly. Some of the things people say are a bit daft, some plain rude but mostly people are just being nice.

A few posters have said that "do you know what you're having?" is a stupid question. Am I missing something? Surely they are just asking if you know whether it's a boy or a girl?

Tunip

Actually that one didn't bother me - i just took it as sympathy. But woe betide the poor person who asked it as they'd then have to endure a ten minute rant about exactly how uncomfortable I was.

I hated "is it a boy or a girl". My answer: "Yes I bloody well hope so".

I also hated the same question once I'd actually had the baby (wearing bright pink hat to avoid the question).

My mum got told when expecting me, surely your too old to be having a baby, how will you ever cope? Did you not try for one before reaching YOUR AGE" She was 41, when she had me, my sister she had at 36 and she miscarried one at 27, was traumatised from the miscarriage, had my sister, miscarried again and then had me! And yes she did cope, with me 1YEAR OLD my sister 6 YEARS and nursing two literally dying men. My dad died 31st oct, grandad 26th novem. So really did she cope! YES SHE DID and has always been and still is a brilliant mum.

Sorry for the rant.

The Surgeon General has determined that asking very pregnant women questions can be dangerous to your health :o