AIBU for thinking this is not an excuse for calling in sick?

[BlueCat2010]

In an office job, small company, with a relaxed environment - the excuse given was heavy period. Bearing in mind this is the busiest time of year for us would I be unreasonable in thinking this is a bullshit excuse?

I have fairly heavy periods but deal with them by visiting the loo frequently, so can't see how this can be used as an excuse for not turning up to work.

I genuinely want to know what the mumsnet jury think please

Just a small point on the regularity (or not) of your employee's absences, BlueCat. Her absences could be due to periods without necessarily being on a monthly pattern. I have endometriosis, didn't really kick in until my early thirties, although I had a few 'bad periods' in my mid-twenties and one or two in my teens. I have light periods, and this seemed to translate into all-month-round pain; the main reason it took my GP so long to diagnose it, it was considered to be IBS until then. With treatment it's now under control, but I still get the occasional break-through (2-3 times/year), restricted to the first day of my period, when I will have to take to my bed.

But, an overview of my absences of that time would show a lot of absences of no discernible pattern due to pain/vomiting/diarrhoea, then periods being blamed, apparently out of the blue.

YABU

I have severe invasive endometriosis (which has spread to bladder, bowel and kidneys). I have had 7 major surgeries to try and fix my insides. I take hormone medication plus mirena coil. My 1 remaining overy is polycystic. I have periods sometimes every 2 weeks, sometimes every 8. Sometimes I bleed like a biatch for 15 days, sometimes for 2. Totally variable. On the bad days, I have to take codiene, paracetamol, buscopan and naproxen to be able to get out of bed. Labour pain was a doddle compared to that pain, and the scarring is so severe that I ended up with an EMCS after 38 hours. I also vomit, and have back and leg pain. Again, at totally random times or the month, and sometimes more than once a month.

My employer told me that these problems are covered by the Disability Discrimination Act and thus I was able to arrange to work from home on the worst days and reorganise various bits. I have ++ support from them around this.

I'm no 'slacker' - and after 12 years of suffering I'm pretty good at 'getting on with it'. But on occasional days, there is NOTHING I can do bar go to bed.

You can't tell if it's an ongoing problem, a one off or something that she 'just manages' by looking at her sickness record.

Would def recommend reposting in employment re: the support you can offer her with regards ongoing sickness problems, and how this may or may not be supported by legislation.

I've had to take time off work due to bad periods. I've passed out and ended up in a & e before now and had to have anti sickness injection and painkillers. Work were understanding, if it was bad I needed to take strong painkillers that would knock me out and I would have to sleep it off for a day.

YABVVU!

BlueCat2010 "It's not a colleague, it's a member of my staff so I'm not gossiping."

It might well be a good enough excuse but I suspect as an employer or a fellow employee it would still piss me off it was a regular occurence.

YABU,
But only because I know someone who has been given medication for just this reason. She said blood and clots would just suddenly shoot out and overwhelm her sanitary protection very embarrassing and difficult if out of the house.
Personally, I have such light periods I'd of found it hard not to think it's an excuse had I not spent a day shopping with my friend and seen how stupidly difficult it made everything worrying about clothes, carseats and the nearest loo.

I have fainted, vomited constantly and been in pain that was as painful as childbirth. There is no way that if I was in that condition I would be fit to go anywhere.

Re stupid excuses-my ex SIL had someone phone in cos her curling tongs had blown up and she couldnt come to work with messy hair....honest,this is genuine. She DID get told to get her backside into work.

I once had to phone in sick with a heavy period, in fact I had to take 2 days off.I was sooo ill, and I would just have embarrassed myself.

I was on holiday once and the weather was awful, I got completely drenched each day and caught a 'chill'. When I came on two days later it was the heaviest period I have ever known- literally soaking through in no time. I was so worried about soiling the hotel bed that I could not allow myself to sleep as I had to change protection every half hour or so. But I was on holiday so I could manage my time as I liked. No way would I have been able to just carry on a normal working day like that. I have never before or after had any period quite so heavy, I often wonder if getting a chill after getting so wet for so many days somehow affected things. It is the only thing that was different that month. so, YABU to not believe it as plausable, even as a one-off.

I agree about posting details of her condition on the Internet BTW- very unprofessional, whether you are her boss or a colleague it makes no difference.

OK, sounds like you've had some good advice so this is probably superfluous, but I generally have light periods that don't trouble me much. Twice I have had a period so heavy and painful that I've fainted/vomited. One of those times was at work and they sent me home in a taxi. The other time I thought I was haemorrhaging as I soaked through an entire pack of maxi pads in 3 hours. I was definitely not having a miscarriage either time, it would have had to have been the immaculate conception.

In short, menstruation can be a weird thing, she could definitely be having a one-off terrible period. On the other hand, if she's got a history of pulling sickies I would take it with a pinch of salt, especially as she's mostly ill on Mondays/Fridays.

I guess what I'm trying to say is you might be U, but taking into account your employee's track record it's more likely bullshit so YANBU.

BlueCat, you mentioned it's unllikely in your opinion to be related to mc. Is she an older lady? I only ask because as I was approaching menopause my periods became so heavy I had to ask dh to bring me a towel to bed to shove between my legs so I could hobble to the toilet, and there was no way I could go outside the house for two or three days every month. (sorry if tmi). Ruined a lovely bedroom carpet, not to mention having to replace the mattress. The pain for those last few periods was not unlike labour (have 4 children).

As others have said, it's very plausible. I used to get horrendous period pains, resulting in all over body pain due to he tension, cold sweats, dizziness, headaches, vomiting, the runs, passing out. Turns out one day I had to go to hospital becuase I had a cyst on my ovary explode, that was fun. I have now been diagnosed with PCOS, which explains a lot. I'm having treatment and it's so very much better.

I would have a word in a return to work chat. Gently suggest that she may want to go to her GP to have herself checked out because there's no reason for her to suffer unnecessarily. If her sick abscence record is a problem, that is a seperate issue, really, to the reason she's given this time.

This thread reminds me of....

PMSL Chocolate! not admitting it took a few minutes for the penny to drop

BTW for those that have mentioned I am being unprofessional - what have I posted that can identify her, or indeed my company? I'm sure that it is not an unusual condition, and it wouldn't have even been mentioned if it had been D & V!

OMG - sorry - IABU by the way I worded the original post I've just re-read it and have spotted I missed a chunk of what I meant to say out - it should have read 'is it a bullshit excuse given that she has never suffered from this before'.

Anyone got a hole to swallow me up in please!

Plausible, but as I said before exteremly unlikely MrsM.

I think it is unreasonable for an employer to be speculating about the personal and intimate medical circumstances of a member of staff.

It is not unreasonable for an employer to have a published procedure which covers the next steps for dealing with higher than acceptable levels of sickness absence. My old company's procedure kicked in after 3 absences in a 12 month period. The inital step was an interview with a manger to establish if there was an ongoing problem, if there were any steps that could be taken by employee or company to help address the problem. After that it would escalate to being referred to Occupational health/requesting doctor's letter etc. etc.

Do you have a written procedure? If not perhaps you ought to put one in place.

YABU. I used to lose two days every month until I had DS.

Sorry YABU. I've had such heavy ones that its the bloody equivalent of your waters breaking. There's no swaddling that easily for the office.

YABU. My 'normal' period situation involves being hugely careful to eat food with iron in and usually take extra tablets; taking a low-dose ibuprofen each day in the week leading up to it; taking high-dose ones for at least the first few days; and being a bit shaky, absent-minded and low on energy. Occasionally I get one that resembles Niagra Falls, and/or the sort of pain that means I can barely walk and have to crawl to get from my bed to the bathroom every so often. I have a pretty high pain threshold and very few illnesses stop me functioning, but periods like that rule out leaving the house unless it's strictly necessary. Also tampons and mooncup make the pain worse, upping the potential mess factor, and most of my more professional-looking clothes aggravate things. Plus, until my early twenties the second sort of period was the norm. I have no desire to discuss the gory details with colleagues, if I have to be off I say I have food poisoning. Luckily I work part-time and often from home, so at the moment I can get around it, but when I get a full-time job I'm anticipating some stress about this.

I suffer from. heavy periods and have 2 periods per month. Yabu. Did you speak to to the. staff member?