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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU for thinking this is not an excuse for calling in sick?

157 replies

BlueCat2010 · 16/01/2012 21:59

In an office job, small company, with a relaxed environment - the excuse given was heavy period. Bearing in mind this is the busiest time of year for us would I be unreasonable in thinking this is a bullshit excuse?

I have fairly heavy periods but deal with them by visiting the loo frequently, so can't see how this can be used as an excuse for not turning up to work.

I genuinely want to know what the mumsnet jury think please

OP posts:

Cartamandua · 16/01/2012 22:10

YABVU! I had one a few years back which in hindsight I think was an early miscarriage. Agony and exhausing. (However I can't understand why that was given as the reason - I'd have said I had flu or something).

fuzzpig · 16/01/2012 22:11

Vvviola that's weird I was thinking the other day how great it'd be if women got an extra day off each month for their heaviest day! I always have one awful day each cycle - day 2 of bleed normally.

That's tomorrow :( thankfully I don't work Tuesdays!

serin · 16/01/2012 22:11

I too have had periods that were worse than my labour pains! Then again my poor uterus must be so strong with monthly contactions I managed to give birth in 20mins.

YABU

WorraLiberty · 16/01/2012 22:11

I have to say I admire her honesty

The phrase used to be "stomach cramps" at one time

Almostfifty · 16/01/2012 22:12

It is a plausible excuse.

Believe me, it is. Look at this thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1376016-Oh-god-Period-all-over-office-chair

Cartamandua · 16/01/2012 22:12

BlueCat - if she doesn't have a bad absence record why are you even giving it a second thought? Just accept it and stop being so darned suspicious and unreasonable. If it's a one off you don't need to "work with her" do you, you just need to leave her alone and welcome her back and get back to work as normal.

Original poster

BlueCat2010 · 16/01/2012 22:13

Thanks for the info for those who do suffer, much appreciated.

OP posts:

Bogeyface · 16/01/2012 22:13

That does change things a bit Blue.

It really does sound like she is pulling a fast one to me. As I said, I know how debilitating bad periods can be, but it doesnt generally come out of the blue and you would have seen her looking rough and ill for a couple of days each month before now if it was an existing issue that deteriorated.

Its women who use this as an excuse that demean the genuine sufferers imo :(

Cartamandua · 16/01/2012 22:13

Oh sorry, caught hold of wrong end of stick there. Please ignore!!

ElderberrySyrup · 16/01/2012 22:15

bad periods often go with irregular periods though. And it's possible it's happened before but she hasn't wanted to say the reason.
So I wouldn't jump to any conclusions about it not being real.

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 16/01/2012 22:15

YABU
my periods have been getting heavier and more painful since I had a coil fitted.last week the pain was so bad i vomited.
dh had to take the girls to school/childcare while i lay on the bathroom floor and called in sick. for one day.
this was the only day I have had off sick in the last 5 years by the way, so I am not exactly what you'd call a malingerer.

Morloth · 16/01/2012 22:15

YABU, before my pregnancies I would have to pretty much write off at least 2 days a month with a combination of a migraine, flooding and severe cramping and back pain.

I have PCOS, thankfully it got better after having DS1 and DS2 appears to have sorted me out completely and I now have what I would term a 'normal' period every 4 weeks or so.

Some months it was simply a case of going to the loo every half an hour or so, other months it was a case of sitting on the loo while my insides fell out and I tried not to faint.

UserNameNotAvailable · 16/01/2012 22:16

Yabu
I remember when I was about 17 in college when my period arrived I was soaked down to my knees and I was mortified as I had on light denim jeans and I had to try and wrap my jacket around me and somehow either get home on the bus or walk to my then boyfriends house who could then give me a lift home. I suffered heavy periods for years and had to get tablets from the doctor and at times even got a sick nOte off him once I started work.

whomovedmychocolate · 16/01/2012 22:17

Yep plausible. When you are soaking through more than a towel an hour you are not actually safe to drive or be in control of machinery. Also it's mortifying to soak through your trousers in front of other staff. And you cannot concentrate on anything because you are feeling blood literally seeping out of you continually. It is, in short, hellish and anyone who expects their staff to turn up under those circumstances, is bonkers.

My suggestions would be to ask the person concerned to see her GP (because it's not good for her and there are treatments which can help in most cases) and to be a bit more understanding - especially as she will be incredibly tired for the next two weeks.

Alternatively perhaps she's actually gone for a job interview, in which case you may well only have a short term problem. :)

maybenow · 16/01/2012 22:18

my work colleague is around menopause age and suddenly one day went white and passed out and we had to send her to hospital. turns out it was 'flooding' that caused it, she hadn't wanted to tell anybody as she was embarassed and tried to 'soldier on' but really she could have avoided a hospital trip if she'd stayed home and not stressed out on public transport and walking from the station etc.

TheSmallClanger · 16/01/2012 22:18

You can have the odd horrific period. I have quite manageable ones normally, but about once a year, there'll be a terror for some reason.

It could also be "code" for some sort of early pregnancy loss. If you insist on talking to her about it, tread very carefully.

Original poster

BlueCat2010 · 16/01/2012 22:19

I did wonder about a mc, but I would be extremely surprised if it was.

I did read that thread 50, which was what made me wonder if it was possible that it could happen out of the blue!

OP posts:

hiddenhome · 16/01/2012 22:19

Somebody in my work phoned in sick because her husband had mouth ulcers

That went down well.

Bogeyface · 16/01/2012 22:19

That could be code for her having herpes hidden :o

Bogeyface · 16/01/2012 22:22

I know that it can happen but in this case I am v cynical.

We are not tlaking about someone who never has a day off and soldiers on. She has a very poor absence record and no history of calling in sick with any sort of problem in this area before.

Whilst I know it can happen, I dont believe that it has happened in this case and that pisses me off because it makes genuine sufferers look like either wimps, whiners or liars.

Original poster

BlueCat2010 · 16/01/2012 22:22

Pmsl hidden! I wonder if there are any other completely stupid excuses out there?

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 16/01/2012 22:23

The thing is, there is every chance she is pulling a fast one, but an equal chance she isnt. YANBU to pull her up on her sickness record if it is bad, but you cant accuse her of lying in case she isnt.

It does have a whiff of bullshit on a monday morning, as that is the most popular day for throwing a sickie if the employee has had a very heavy weekend rather than a heavy period.

Original poster

BlueCat2010 · 16/01/2012 22:24

Thanks bogey, great minds think alike

OP posts:

drcrab · 16/01/2012 22:25

When I was a teen I used to have v bad crampy pains and have fainted. Once at bus stop and once in a public loo. Having had 2 dc now I thought all is well. My last period (dc2 is 15 months and still bf) a week ago was so bad I was soaking through a napkin an hour and found some thick night ones (bought for post pregnancy!) and wore them in the day time.

Yabu.

MrsBonkers · 16/01/2012 22:25

I would treat it as genuine, but that doesn't mean you can't still address her poor absence. When you do her return to work paperwork, just ask questions about how long its been so bad? Is there anything you can do to help? etc.
If she's lying she'll squirm, if she's telling the truth she'll feel supported. Win/win!!
I have to manage absence at our place too.

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