AIBU for thinking this is not an excuse for calling in sick?

[BlueCat2010]

In an office job, small company, with a relaxed environment - the excuse given was heavy period. Bearing in mind this is the busiest time of year for us would I be unreasonable in thinking this is a bullshit excuse?

I have fairly heavy periods but deal with them by visiting the loo frequently, so can't see how this can be used as an excuse for not turning up to work.

I genuinely want to know what the mumsnet jury think please

My sis has IBS and a hormonal imbalance which causes problems with her periods and painful lumps in her breasts.

Some periods are normal. Others trigger her IBS and she cannot eat/go to the loo/gets cramps. Some trigger her boob disease. Some are spectacularly heavy and painful. Some are all three all at once. During these ones she cannot even stand upright. She has been known to sleep on the rug in the living room, doubled over because she physically could get up to go to bed.

Because of her hormone problem she could have no period for 6 months and then all of sudden she will have three in just two months.

YABU to compare your "fairly heavy periods" to hers. Every woman is different and what you consider heavy could be light in comparison to others. I sometimes feel my periods are heavy and that is usually when I have to change regularly and use a pad just incase..... that is clearly light compared to some of the stories people have posted on here.

Whether she is bullshitting or not is another matter entirely.

I'm perimenopausal and have been housebound by periods occasionally in the last couple of years. Most months now there's nothing or just a bit of slight pink on the bog roll, so it can be a one-off or occasional thing.

Another possible reason for a flare up (and possibly an explanation of generally being a bit debilitated) - mine are generally ok (paracetamol does the trick), but when I had an overactive thyroid they were horrendous - cramps not just in my uterus, but the whole of my abdomen, so strong that I wasn't safe to drive. (And I have never really forgiven the boss I had at the time who insisted I "make up time" for the blood tests I had to have - at a point when I felt so ill that I had given up any attempt to do anything beyond haul my ass into work in the morning, struggle through, then collapse when I got home - fortunately I didn't have children then or I certainly wouldn't have coped).

I'd advise a chat in about a week's time about absence - in a larger organisation, you'd be looking at a referral to occupational health (partly to cover the employer's ass - you have to be sure that there's nothing about the job that's causing or aggravating an illness, or that there isn't some sort of chronic condition that requires you to make reasonable adjustments to her working environment). Maybe re-post in employment to see if you get any advice there on what sort of resources are available for small employers needing to deal with this sort of situation.

YABU to assume that period pain is a bullshit excuse.
YANBU to assume this person is bullshitting given their past record.

I don't have heavy periods, but get the worst pains at the time of ovulation. Cant lift my legs even an inch off the bed/floor, certainly couldn't walk. Pretty constant and very very draining. If I ever had a bout of this pain when I was supposed to be at work, and had to call in sick, I would say period pain/heavy period, even though it wasn;t really that, as going into the ovulation pain explaination was just not something I wanted to do (felt it wouldn't be beleived, and involved a lot of explaining)

Is it possible it's being used as a blanket phrase for something more painful?

If she has a bad attendance record, maybe she has not wanted to admit that she suffers such heavy periods? Can you try and match the days off in the past on a calendar and see if you find a pattern?

ACtually, the more I think about it, repost in employment. It sounds as though you/she have problems here, and the period pain is a bit of a side issue - it's just the final straw that's made you think is she swinging the lead? My workplace has a computerised system that triggers a response after 10 sick days in any 12 month period (where weekends and holidays are taken into account). Obviously, if it's something like a convalescence after an operation/ long term sickness like cancer, the manager can over-ride the system, but where it's lots of bits and pieces of leave, you get referred to occupational health (this happened to me when DS first started nursery - we kept passing colds to each other such that I had lots of periods of sick leave next to periods of annual leave - which were in fact spent mopping up DS's vomit! - and triggered the system).

some people are slackers and take the piss. end of.

I had a colleague who would take time off for this like clockwork every month, she would even plan it in advance, ie, 'I won't be able to go to a meeting on that date as I will be off sick'. I was not the most sympathetic towards her by any means. To this day I feel awful about my lack of empathy, when she died of cancer of the uterus aged 37.

You weren't to know though

YABU.

Von Willebrands disease, which affects 1 per cent of the population. Most people haven't heard of it, partly because of the contemptuous stuff about "oh it's just your period (ie get over yourself and shut up, you precious little weed)." Women who have it often do not realise because we are supposed to put up with what may be abnormal blood loss and the resulting exhaustion and anaemia.

Heard of it op? Anyone else on this thread who has very heavy and long lasting periods should think about going to their GP and asking to be tested.

I have gone on about this on MN before, but I just thought I would mention it because it is worth it if one person gets diagnosed. VWB is a mild inherited blood clotting disorder that causes heavier then usual bleeding from vascular areas of the body. Hence heavy periods, nosebleeds, easy bruising and heavy bleeding after operations/teeth out.

Once you are diagnosed you can get medication to help with clotting. It can cause complications with child birth/operations etc if you are not diagnosed, so it is worth getting it checked out!

www.haemophilia.org.uk/support/Women

YABU, I'm having a period from hell today I am sahm though but there is no way I could work today. I had to get my oldest dd to walk her little sister into school this morning because I'm in so much pain.

If you have a crap attendance history, and it's because of ANY illness or condition then you're acting like an idiot if you don't seek treatment from a GP, even if it's only to verify what you going through so they can confirm it with your employer.

BlueCat - if it's a frequent or a regular/cyclic thing, you are well within your rights to ask how your employee is going to deal with this/what treatment she is going to seek, simply because frequent absences will impact her workplace.

Daily Mail

I know it's a DM link but just a couple of examples of what's already been highlighted ie ladies having to take time off work due to extreme pain/bleeding.

ChitChat it doesn't help that GPs aren't always sympathetic, or if they prescribe medication that has side effects that have even more impact on your life.

With your own staff, you have to take them on a case by case basis. I have staff who would scale mountains to come to work and I have staff who, well, just wouldn't.

Snow is always interesting. When one can come 25 miles in a fiesta but the other can't come three in a landrover over the same roads, I know which one is motivated and keen and which one isn't.

i have a member of staff who i have to physically force to take her holiday and another who tries to take more holiday than she's actually due. It's just the way it is and you can't take one day's excuse as an indication of anything. The reason you're given on the phone is normally very different to the real reason anyway and having a chat when they're back in the office normally gives you the real reason.

God yes, it is a good enough excuse to take time off. My friend is on morphine and the like because of her heavy bleeding, and will be having a hysterectomy soon, after ablation didn't work to lessen the issue of heavy bleeding during her periods.

I get periods, with cramping to a moderate level, and the pain is enough that I would take time off to lie in bed with a hot water on a particularly bad day. I also used to "faint" a lot when I was younger and on my period, the combination of blood loss and pain was enough to have me on the floor. I went to the doctors about it several times and some people apparently have a response like this to pain... vasovagal collapse the emergency room doctor called it I think.

Yes it is a reasonable excuse.

I had fibroids and until I had them taken out I would be rolling around in pain and when things did finally start I would be very faint, have gushes, extremely large clots and would literally flood/stain my clothing. Yes you can take extra clothes in to work but as an adult it is very hard to explain why mid morning you got changed and why at lunchtime you needed to buy new clothes and wear them immediately...

I think talk to her, but as a human rather than as an employer.

Mine were horrendous until I went on the pill at 17. I was so skinny from losing weight each month with vomiting and diarrhea. At school if I came on I'd get awful cold sweats and have to sit on the toilet floor clutching the toilet bowl. After two dc I now know that those pains were just like back to back labour pains.

Again, thanks for all the replies -I'm in work so am reading and running

"heavy periods can be HELL but if that busy unless she is DYING she should take some painkillers and soldier on"

Sorry but heavy painkillers do not stop blood clots the size of golfballs from splattung out of your vadge. Nor do they prevent the humilation of your clothes getting flooded with menstrual blood when you have a sudden rush of blood decide that it's going to exit your minge the minute you stand from your seat.

Jeez, considering that we're mainly all women I am surprised at the lack of empathy that some of you have for a problem that affects other women.

BTW I get that some periods are awful, I have some lovely fibroids too. I just think if this was case with collegue you would have known before

put another way, from what OP has said I am seeing she has the same issue as everyone here

I have a contraceptive implant in my arm, so my periods are few and far between.

When they do happen, they are very, very heavy and they can make me feel very ill and in a lot of pain. I've been physically sick and once needed to be treated for anaemia. They are also, for a few days at least, very messy and embarrassing, I have to use maternity pads and change them every half an hour and I am very conscious of the smell.

I get headaches that last for hours, sometimes days, and the smell of bleach, coffee or cigarettes while I am having a period can make me be sick.

So your employee could be telling the truth, and this doesn't have to be every month, she could go quite a while between periods, or at least between very bad ones, and then have one that leaves her feeling dreadful.