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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for thinking this is not an excuse for calling in sick?

157 replies

BlueCat2010 · 16/01/2012 21:59

In an office job, small company, with a relaxed environment - the excuse given was heavy period. Bearing in mind this is the busiest time of year for us would I be unreasonable in thinking this is a bullshit excuse?

I have fairly heavy periods but deal with them by visiting the loo frequently, so can't see how this can be used as an excuse for not turning up to work.

I genuinely want to know what the mumsnet jury think please

OP posts:
missduff · 16/01/2012 23:28

When I was a teen a was sent home from school cos I was so poorly with my periods, but I mean to the point where I was fainting and being sick.
I was then put on the pill and given metaphoric acid and it sorted them out.
But that was when I was about 13 and my body wasn't used to dealing with periods, I would never dream of phoning in sick because of a period as an adult. Surely if they are that bad she needs to see the doctor.

TheSecondComing · 16/01/2012 23:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missingmumxox · 16/01/2012 23:37

for ease you could use the Bradford scale for absenteeism.
On periods, full stop (sorry could resist) oddly on friday at work we had a whole convo on periods, due to my daughter is 9 post, as I drove home, it occured to me that under the equality act, all women who are menstrating should be covered by it? I have yet to throw this out to my fellow professionals for discussion but I would be interested in the answers.
I have twice in the last 12 months had to phone in sick due to period, but both time used my IBS which also decides to party at the same time, they are best friends! and I find easier to use IBS than periods??? because I am female and we are meant to put up with them!...and I work in OH! so not inspiring, if I think it is not taken seriously.
PS even if a illness is under equality, people can be capibility managed but you do need to show reasonable adjustment, and it is reasonable, therefore a diver scared of the water couldn't be adjusted but if a role for instructor came up they could be redeployed and the role adjusted for theory and practicals in PPE donning and use...
good luck
pps I am not a fan of the Bradford scale but needs must when you don't have HR or OH.

gaelicsheep · 16/01/2012 23:42

missduff - you'd never dream of phoning in sick with a period? Even if they were still making you faint and vomit with the pain? All very well seeing the doctor - doesn't help at the time.

I'd never dream of phoning sick and giving the reason as a period. Although I have done that once in the past when I was working in a manual outdoor job with no loo available. At that time periods affected my bowels, shall we say, as well as being heavy and causing horrible back, leg and stomach ache. It didn't go down well - would never admit it again.

Thankfully having children seem to have sorted mine out.

missduff · 16/01/2012 23:50

gaelicsheep I mean I have just learnt to cope with them, medically as well as mentally. From my experience I've never had 1 terrible period come out of nowhere, for me they have always built up over the months so been to the doc and got metaphoric acid which helps immensely if taken properly.
And yes a couple of years back I did get a spout of periods which made me vomit at work and I also get bad bowels but I didn't go home from work. Probably if I felt that bad due to illness then I would do but I don't think I could face the embarrassment of saying I needed to go home because of my period.
I still get heavy periods but virtually pain free now I've had a baby (thank god!)

gaelicsheep · 16/01/2012 23:53

No I agree, as I said I'd never ever admit it was to do with my period. Not sure why I did that once - oh I remember I confided in a female colleague Hmm. Bleurgh.

wonkylegs · 16/01/2012 23:58

I had what I thought was a heavy period and hid away from the world.... Turned out it was a ruptured ovarian cyst and thankfully my housemates had the initiative (amazing in a houseful of student blokes) to rush me to hospital where I was admitted for a week. Wasn't fun luckily I was ok as it could have been serious but I'd honestly thought it was a 'bad period'. Blush

yellowraincoat · 17/01/2012 00:04

What's the point in trying to guess if she's lying or not? That's not really the issue here and since you can't prove it either way, it's pointless.

If she has a poor absence record, address that, not the state of the poor woman's womb lining.

BupcakesandCunting · 17/01/2012 00:22

I suffer with intermittent heavy periods (have posted in the delights before) so the posts about it being implausaible because she's not mentioned them before aren't accurate. I tend to have a heavy period each month but an unmanageable one about twice a year.

Had to ring in to my old job once because I literally couldn't stand up without the blood running out of me. I could hear my boss doing the Hmm face down the 'phone. Silly woman.

fuzzpig · 17/01/2012 07:36

I was wondering if the periods have been the reason for lots of absences in the past but she's only just felt able to tell the truth? Unless you really think it is generally skiving.

I'm intrigued by so many people saying theirs have got better since having DCs! How does that work, scientifically I mean?

Mine have changed but not really for better or for worse - just a different pattern.

ohdearwhatdoidonow · 17/01/2012 07:38

Hmm tough one - Id be sympathetic this time, but suggest she gets medical help - involve Occ Health if you have one. Unless there is an underlying medical situation, it's not sustainable for a small business to have to deal with an absence every month for this reason.

laptopdancer · 17/01/2012 07:48

speaking of this....aibu thiking that exhaustion is a reasonable reason for being off sick? Ive been up all night with a sick 'un and Im soooooo tired

Gumby · 17/01/2012 07:51

I started cezarette , two weeks light periods now nothing Grin

FlangelinaBallerina · 17/01/2012 07:56

Are you sure the weight gain is due to Christmas OP? My belly looks rather bigger than it did a few weeks ago, but that's because I'm 12 weeks pregnant. Last January, it looked bigger because of all the eating and drinking.

As for the plausibility or otherwise of the excuse, I think this thread has shown that some people certainly do suffer badly enough to need time off work for periods. I never have, so couldn't say, but assume the other posters aren't all telling the same lie. Or on the other hand, your employee could be totally taking the piss- that's also possible. Tread carefully either way.

EauDeLaPoisson · 17/01/2012 08:10

Sorry but Grin at metaphoric acid!!!

carabos · 17/01/2012 08:26

I'm on the fence with this one. I know from experience that a period can be bad enough to justify time off work and there have been times when I know I should have stayed at home. However, if it's a one off, it's a one off (though I don't know if I would have actually that was what was wrong iyswim). If its a regular thing then she needs to see a doctor and demonstrate that she is at least trying to do something about it.

Happypiglet · 17/01/2012 08:31

Fuzpig my GP told me that it is a normal pattern for the cramping period pain to be worse the younger you are. The cramps are a result of prostaglandins which is the hormone produced in labour to get you contracting! In some young women I guess the body hasn't got the knack of regulating it properly? Maybe having DC and going through labour helps it to learn how to do so? I have no idea really but it is fascinating.
GP also said that pms type symptoms which I never had as a teenager and now suffer from really badly (to the point where i could happily kill my DH at some points of the month for very minor infringements!) are usually worse as you get older along with the heaviness also increasing.
My GP seems quite clued up really for a man!

MrsHoarder · 17/01/2012 08:41

I used to have "distruptions" to work about 5 times a year* due to period pains. Becuase the only thing I'd ever been offered for them was the pill, and that caused other problems.

So if she has an irratic absense record due to non-quantifiable things like "stomach bug" just ask if most of these problems are actually period pains. Then suggest she gets to her GP and discusses it. It took me 3 GPs (went around the practise) before I found one that would give me something that helped and wasn't the pill, now I couldn't imagine trying to get through a period without methanic acid.

  • Not always a full day off, sometimes I'd get to three and ask my manager if I could make the time up another day due to feeling "under the weather". Unfortunately at the time the only thing I could take that would touch the pain sent me to sleep! I didn't however ever tell my male line manager that it was period problems.
Nixea · 17/01/2012 08:41

I'm surprised no one else has mentioned this but how incredible unprofessional to post confidential details about a member of staff on an internet forum! Yes I know you've not put anything identifiable but can you all imagine being the person who's ill and reading this on here.

I'd be surprised if this is acceptable company policy.

OatcakeCravings · 17/01/2012 08:44

I've had awful periods since having my DS. They are always really really heavy but some months they are so bad that I've soaked through the biggest tampon plus a maternity towel in 10 mins. I've also fainted because of them - at work. I've never had a day off work because of them but a couple of months ago I actually spent about 4 solid hours just sitting on the loo at work. I wish I had stayed at home!

samandi · 17/01/2012 09:11

I'm genuinely trying to find out if it's a plausible excuse.

Why wouldn?t it be? People are either more honest about their sickness than not, and if they want a sickie they can come up with any excuse. Menorrhagia is a perfectly valid physical disorder.

This person has a really bad absence record

Well, perhaps that needs addressing then, but that doesn?t change the fact that heavy periods are a perfectly reasonable reason to be off sick. Obviously if it happened every month I would expect them to be taking self-help measures and/or under medical treatment. But the issue here is the bad absence record in general, not the specific disorder given here.

I never said it wasn't possible to have horrendous periods btw, I was more bothered that this person hadn't seemed to suffer before and all of a sudden she's having to call in sick with it.

It doesn?t necessarily occur with the same severity every month, as other posters have pointed out.

I'm surprised no one else has mentioned this but how incredible unprofessional to post confidential details about a member of staff on an internet forum!

Yes, it is.

fallenpetal · 17/01/2012 09:30

Im a bit applauded at you asking the question but I am going to replay

YABVU

Ok ok so she has a crap history no pattern that fits periods.... I have PCOS periods are very irregular can be months or weeks apart, go on for months or be very short,crippling and so heavy I cant stand up with out loosing a flood of blood and clots.

Im usually beside myself and never admit it to anyone, she could very well be suffering similarly and have only just told you the real reason. Ive said everything from tummy bugs to migraines before Blush

tread carefully - Please

porcamiseria · 17/01/2012 09:32

meh yanbu

heavy periods can be HELL but if that busy unless she is DYING she should take some painkillers and soldier on

but I am likely the only person saying this!!!!!

Original poster
BlueCat2010 · 17/01/2012 09:35

Thanks for the input everyone. When you're a small employer it's good to get a different point of view, which was the purpose of this.

OP posts:
TheLightPassenger · 17/01/2012 09:40

just to add one more suggestion re:reasons to suddenly develop period problems - if she has had to come off the pill, then the pill could have been managing her periods, and her post pill periods could be dreadful again (have been in that position myself). Also as a horrendous period pains as bad as labour veteran - my cycle could be between 4 and 8 weeks, and some periods would be more managable than others.