My dd is 14 and i've raised her on my own from when she was born. I split with her dad when I was pregnant and he's only ever been involved in her life when it suits him. He has never paid maintenance for her, actually that's untrue,he gave me money for about 4 weeks when she was 8 and then stopped again. I've never chased him for money as I wouldn't be seen to be begging off him.
He now has another 2 children from different relationships. The first one he pays regular maintenance for since he split with the mother and he lives with the second child and her mother. They are due to be married this summer. I get on very well with his fiancée, since he got with her she encouraged him to see my dd a bit more (although since they had their child I suspect dd was only brought there at weekends to babysit). When they got engaged last year they asked dd to be bridesmaid. She has been for dress fittings and everything is all arranged.
Anyway, before Christmas I lost my job and found myself in a position to ask ex for maintenance. He asked how much and I said just as much as he could afford as I wasn't out to screw him but was really struggling financially. I haven't heard anything from him since and that was 8 weeks ago. I'm absolutely fuming that he cares so little for dd. She hasn't seen him in over 4 months and for Christmas he just sent her a text! Same at New Year.
So I sat dd down and told her that I'm not letting her see him anymore, when she's 18 she can make her own mind up but as of now I'm her parent and i'm not allowing any contact between them. I've also told her that she can't be bridesmaid. It would just make me sick for him to standing there on the day acting so proud of his beautiful, talented dd when in reality he doesn't care if she starves. Dd doesn't seem too bothered tbh but i'm just wondering AIBU?