To think that people who moan on facebook about being delayed after someone has committed suicide under a train are insensitive twats?

[samstown]

One of my facebook friends has today written a moany status 'thanking' the 'idiot' who jumped under a train (am assuming he was delayed getting home because of this).

Some poor bastard has got to the a point so low in their life that they feel that the best thing they can do is end it all, and all some people can do is moan that they have been mildly inconvenienced getting home.

This isnt the first status I have seen like this either. Now granted, I am not a commuter so have not been in the position where I have been delayed on a train due to a track suicide, although I do know of a girl who ended her life under a train.

AIBU?

I wouldn't have a problem with people complaining about it. If you are complaining about the complaining, you Amy as well say that no one has the right to be happy or celebrate anything because at the same time someone somewhere will have just dies in awful circumstance, or had their life devestated in some other way.

I'm not some one who believes that suicide is selfish, in fact I think there are times when it is incredibly selfless. But I do think it's ok to be a bit put out when the actions of someone else have a detrimental effect on you getting on with the things you need to do.

At least it's not Japan where the families of the deceased have to pay compensation to the rail company for the inconvenience.

Now that intrigues me, I wonder what the reasoning is.

If you live in London this is a weekly thing, so you're pretty much compassioned out after a year or so of commuting. Terrible, but there it is.

I think the trouble with the word selfish is that it implies a rational choice made.

Very good point....

People who are suicidal and in a cloud of depression and deep despair...feeling they have no hope and the only way is suicide...are not thinking rationally....and don't consider the implications on others.

Very sad....

Why unnecessary? No more unnecessary than most of the posts on this thread.

It is insensitive to throw yourself under a train, but of course someone who is suicidal is not going to be thinking of that, they have rather bigger things going on.

Extenuating circumstances don't make an insensitive thing more sensitive, or make a selfish thing less selfish, but they do make us better able to understand why someone acted in that way (and less likely to blame them for the consequences). It doesn't stop the thing itself from being insensitive/selfish/whatever, what it changes is our perception of it.

Calling them a twat was the insensitive bit.

But a twat? Really?

maybe its insensitive to force someone else to pick up the bits of a body splattered along a half a mile stretch and put them in bags

maybe its insensitive to expect that same person to then go round to the mother/father/wife/husband/child and tell them their loved one is now in bits ina bag, except some of them which is still on the front of the train

maybe its insensitive to expect the train driver to spend the next six months on sick leave because he is too traumatised to do his job again and keeps having nightmares

maybe its insensitive to subject the people on the train, many of them young children, to the sight of bits of body strewn along the line - again forcing them into reliving sights over and over again

maybe

"Well suicide is a selfish act by definition. No one can help being annoyed at being inconvenienced whatever the cause"

No, but you refrain from making comments in public. It might be selfishness, but it's selfishness driven by the sort of desperation that we can only hope most of the moaners will never experience.

"Well suicide is a selfish act by definition. No one can help being annoyed at being inconvenienced whatever the cause"

No, but you refrain from making comments in public.

It might be selfishness but it's driven by the sort of desperation that we can only hope most of the moaners never experience.

????

I once saw a man throw himself under a train, to this day I remember the horror of what I had seen slowly dawn on me, I spent the day in shock and had nightmares. it was horrendous, then after witnessing the act I still needed to get to work I spent three hours triyng to get into work that day whilst in shock. So yes I was looking at it from my own point of view and the view of the poor poor train driver and any passengers sitting in the front looking out.

When I went to university the tube line I used was very popular for suicides, we'd spend an hour stuck between stations baking in the heat and fainting from having to stand on the tube while the situation was sorted.

I get upset at being on delayed trains due to attempted suicides, I dont think that makes me a bad person, it has horrendous affects on so many people it isn't just a case of being delayed an hour, often times one is stuck on the train for an hour or more on over packed over heated trains with nowhere to go, so if people will post statuses up on f/b to alleviate their anxiety I can completely understand.

People who haven't been affected by the repercussions won't understand how awful it is, not just the temporary physical discomfort of the train delays and then the next step of your journey being really delayed as the backlog of commuters pack out the trian platforms.

Many many years ago I nearly threw myself under a train, life was so horrendous, the one thing that stopped me was the memory of how awful it would be for the passengers and the train driver which stopped me, I decided I really did not need the additonal bad karma.

I do not understand depression or suicidal thoughts as I've never been there. Had a friend who jumped out of a window. I felt more sorry for his girlfriend and family in the aftermath as that was what was more real to me iyswim.

Interesting thread, seeing different POVs.

Oh, as well as being sad I'd lost a friend obvs! I just mean my empathy for his state of mind at the time was lacking.

Throwing yourself under a train is forcing someone else (the train driver) to kill you. That's really wrong and no better than chucking yourself in front of someone's car

YANBU. I have not read whole thread as I have started a similar thread in the past. I was shocked that people could call someone committing suicide selfish. A person doing that must be so desperate.

When you are so deeply depressed that you contemplate suicide, it is possible to believe you are doing everyone else a favour by ending your life. You believe your loved ones and everyone else would be better off if you were out of the way so they can get on with life without you; they'd find a better wife, friend, mother, colleague... the list goes on. You're not being selfish - as Pagwatch said, that implies a rational, informed choice of action. That person's mind was probably so sick they were unable to think, feel or believe in a 'normal' way just as someone who's just broken both their arms might be unable to make themselves a cup of tea or dress themselves. (Apologies for the crap analogy but I hope it makes sense.)

I agree with you OrmIrian. It is possible to feel the annoyance without making it public.

My Grandfather committed suicide due to suffering from what would be diagnosed as PTSD these days just after the end of WWII. I do not think it was selfish , it was just tragic that someone was so ill from awful experiences fighting in the army that they took their own life leaving a widow with three children.

I hate how an issue like this is trivialised, the FB poster is the selfish one in this.

I bet the FB poster hasn't considered the wider implications of that status. I'd hope if it was explained to them they'd be horrified.

Depression is not rational, it's an illness. Would you call someone with dementia selfish? Or someone who had a heart attack, making someone else find the body? No, because you know they aren't in control of their illness. Nor are people so ill they kill themselves. Of course it's awful for those affected by it, but it's not the sufferers fault they were ill, and calling them selfish implies they were in control of their depression. If someone is unable to save their own life they can't be blamed for dying 'inconsiderately'.

Gives up trying to explain!

I commute and I can understand how annoying it is when trains are delayed. After all, it's just another reason for many, many delays. But I'd never complain about it on facebook - imagine if one of your friends knew the person who'd died? Or even if they didn't, it's not really appropriate, is it.

One of my colleagues always whinges about her trains being delayed for suicides and says it's selfish. It really annoys me.

I can understand why people choose to jump in front of trains - because it's so accessible isn't it? There are railways and railway bridges everywhere. And it's pretty much guaranteed to work.

There was a thread like this a while ago, wasn't there? Maybe after Jeremy Clarkson said his bit. There was a train driver on there who said she thought it was better for a train driver to cope with a suicide than a friend or relative of the dead person finding the body, because they get training.

Its awful for relatives and friends when they lose someone to suicide, not just because of the brutal harsh and sudden way they lose their loved one, but due to the fact everyone seems like they are entitled to an opinion on the way they have died- words such as 'selfish' 'cowardly' etc always come up whereas if they'd have died from cancer you get 'oh they were so brave' and 'such a tragic loss'
This just makes even more stigma for those with mental illness imho and it needs to STOP

I don't think it's much different to moaning about being held up in traffic because of a serious road accident with fatalities, or complaining that your street has been sealed up due to a murder (as happened to me recently). It is tragic and awful for the victim(s) and their families, but if you don't know the person or the circumstances or any other information aside from there being a "person under a train," it can be hard to summon up a lot of compassion. Especially when it happens nearly every week on some lines.

Implying the victim is an idiot is obviously pretty low, but acknowledging the delay and the fact it is inconveniencing you isn't really that bad IMO,

It must be awful to be in such a dark place that you feel you're only way out is to throw yourself under a train. But it isn't though is it? If you really want to end your life there are ways you can do it without getting someone to kill you, which is what they want the train driver to do.

I feel for the poor driver and the person who has to come along and scoop up all the mess! Not only that, but suicides are also added to journey delay figures and if they exceed a certain figure the workers lose their bonuses. So it does impact on everyone and yes, it is a selfish thing to do. Find another way.

Wow, I am shocked at the lack of understanding of mental illness on this thread. As another poster further up said, would you call a dementia sufferer 'selfish' for making their family go through the pain of watching their deterioration?