to say to 16 year old dd 'no, you are not going on a post-GCSE piss-up to Vile Newquay?

[GetOrfMoiiLand]

Apparently I am the only mother in the entire United Kingdom who has said no.

She has said that she won't drink, she just wants to go because 'everybody in year 11 is going, mum, and I will feel left out'.

She evidently thinks I was born yesterday.

Say YES and then start helpfully printing out addresses for local Girl Guide units saying that you are sure a couple of them will be planning to camp on the coast for the summer and you'll be happy for her to join up

I would let her go.

My mum reluctantly let me and 2 friends go to Kavos in Corfu when we were 17. There was drinking and sex but my friends and I were responsible and looked out for each other.

I went to Newquay when I was 18 after A levels and it was just as everyone says, lots of drinking, drugs, sex, throwing up in the gutter. I hasten to add I only took part in the drinking aspect!

I had an unbelievably brilliant time on both holidays and they are still talked of now amongst me and my friends. I think basically you have to trust your own child and know that they are going away with decent friends. My friends and I have always looked out for one another and stuck together and I think that makes a big difference in whether kids are likely to get sucked in to the seedier side of teen holidays.

When it comes to my DD going away on such holidays (thankfully some 14 years away) I hope that I can allow her the same freedoms as my mum allowed me and instill in her the same values of friendship that I still hold very dear.

DSS popped his cherry on that trip at 16. He was desperate to. His Mother practically handed him the condoms and lube.

I found it most odd.

for me, it would be over my dead body....a resounding NO from me too.

mine is in year 10. i will remember this next year....

I went to Newquay when I was 16.

Doesn't it depend on what your 16 yo is like? I have always been a bit of a 'mother hen' and I think my mum knew the worst senario would be sore heads. We had a great time!

I have asked my mum since - now 24yo - why she let me go and she said she knew I'd be sensible enough not to do anything silly.

I would let her (with her own money) go away with her friends (but not to Newquay as the sole goal of the place is to get drunk/drugged/laid).

A month after my 17th birthday I was at University living independantly.

I would let DD go somewhere, but definitely not to Newquay and only if she had already been camping/overnight somewhere else with her friends. To go to Newquay after GCSEs for your first away from parents holiday is asking for trouble, I think.

DS1 went overnight locally to a few places last summer after GCSEs with his friends, but he had been out with them before that. He also went to Reading. What about that for your DD? Upside is there aren't any cliffs to fall off . Cost £150 (he got tickets from Ebay that cost about £30 less than others had paid) plus you need a tent and clothes that you're not too worried about.

I would say that only you know whether your DD is capable of staying overnight somewhere with her friends. You would be a spoilsport if you don't let her go

I said no when my 16 year old DD asked to do this after GCSEs.

Just stick to your guns. You won't be the only mum saying it, so don't worry.

Oh god. My sister is getting married end of june this year and the best man is arranging a stag weekend in Newquay. So far it's arranged for the weekend 16th and 17th june which is my 21st birthday and DDs 1st birthday. DP is going to ask the best man to change the weekend so he can go. After reading this thread I now really hope he can't/won't change the dates. The guys going are all early-mid 20's.

Hmm - lots to think about.

Leq kir royales in Paris sounds fabulous. A lot better than a seaside hellhole in the UK (and I grew up in a seaside hellhole, this is probably why I am so down on them).

I have been talking to a friend about it, she is rather sanguine. Says that dd has never given me trouble so why do I suspect it will happen now. Plus I think she is adult enough to do very dangerous activities such as a fly a glider and ride a motorcycle round the city, a weekend away with her mates shuld be a no-brainer.

It's a strange one. 16 is a funny age - on one hand it is adulthood, and on the other, it isn't (yet).

Idon't know. Thank you all very much though for the input - food for thought.

YABU

on one hand it is adulthood, and on the other, it isn't (yet).

Teenagers' brains are not finished, they are worse at making decisions and judging risks.

Although I suppose it depends on the friends she's going with.

I went to Newquay when I was 23
The night clubs all turn a blind eye to age when it come to entry

Their was hardly any females their I would say to every ten guys their was one girl, it was like a meat market

YABU. She is legally entitled to leave home. There are people on this forum who had babies at that age (not saying that's necessarily something that was planned or an outcome you might want for her, but they coped.)

In two years she will be able to leave to go to university, or go on a gap year where she will have to cope with more challenging venues than Newquay!

I was allowed to go clubbing in Newquay by bus at 16 or 17; mind you, I lived 15 miles away so it wasn't such a big deal. I did experiment with alcohol, sex and the odd drug but that's normal. I was mostly a well-behaved teen who got good exam results and went to university, and had a good relationship with my parents because they trusted me.

Let her go, but have a chat about responsible behaviour, and discuss some strategies for various situations.

I've only read the first page but I bet I'll be a lone voice. I'd let her go

I went to France with my friends after my exams and DH went to the Isle of Man with his friends when he was 14! There weren't any mobile phones then either.

I would let her go somewhere but def not Newquay. I come from that part of the world and it is rough.

Thats a point Jins there were no mobile phones when I went to Corfu and Newquay either. At least nowadays you can always get in contact with the kids.

Absolutley now way DS is goint to Newquay!

He is only 11 but in 5 years time the answer will still be no.

Of course, by then, you lot will have gone to Gransnet and I will be asking a whole crop of young gimmers for advice and they will all chorus "Oh let him go, I went to Newquay, my Mum/Dad were worried but it was fine."

DS is 15 and tells me he isn't going to bother with alcohol.

I am going to enjoy the smugness until it comes to bite me on the arse in a year or so's time.

YANBU - Newquay is horrible and not really part of Cornwall IMO, more like a horrible offshoot of the Costa del Crap (and I say that as a proud Cornishwoman). It is full of awful hen nights/stag nights, kids who don't know how to drink without chucking up and falling over, men with their tops off and/or arses out, and genuine misery and awfulness.

Just say no, why not suggest if they want to get incredibly drunk and snog boys celebrate the end of their exams that they camp somewhere fairly local i.e. anywhere other than Newquay. If you're in Devon there are loads of nice places to go that would allow them some privacy etc without being in that particular den of vice, overpriced shitty clubs and stale vomit. I went away with my friends after GCSEs and had an amazing time that we all still reminisce about when we see each other.

Oh - and you've been to completely the wrong (and IMO very odd - St Austell WHY?!) parts of Cornwall :)

A holiday? Post GCSE?

In my day we snuck into the local night club and that felt wild enough