to say to 16 year old dd 'no, you are not going on a post-GCSE piss-up to Vile Newquay?

[GetOrfMoiiLand]

Apparently I am the only mother in the entire United Kingdom who has said no.

She has said that she won't drink, she just wants to go because 'everybody in year 11 is going, mum, and I will feel left out'.

She evidently thinks I was born yesterday.

You can always say it's not because you don't trust her but because there will be lots of other people around who are much less sensible Seriously, the risks of getting caught up in other people's stupidity will be high even if she is a sensible and sober person.

I'd say yes but only if I could go too. It'll coincide nicely with my midlife crisis and I can check out surfer dudes

My DD is 16 and in Y11 and there is NO WAY I would let her go to Newquay.

If some other location or idea for a post-GCSE celebration came up then I might be receptive to the idea, depending on what it was, but Newquay? Absolutely not.
YADNBU

Yanbu, esp as NQ sounds shite anyway. It sounded shite ten years ago when my friends went there after our exams had finished. I was allowed to go youth hostelling in France with a friend, though, and we had an excellent, non-encrusted-with-seven-different-types-of-vileness time. Tell your dd to plan a more interesting trip somewhere else?

I'm dreading this being asked! She's already asked if she can go to Magaluf next year!

My 17 year old went to Ibiza.

I really, really didn't want him to go, but couldn't really stop him.

I really, really didn't want to know what happened, however he came home in one piece.

There comes a time when you have to trust them, obviously it's different depending on their maturity, but you do have to let them go sometime.

I have never been to Newquay, I must admit. But I know someone who went to a stag night there (and stayed in a campsite dedicated to stag and hen weekends - carnage apparently). he said it was full of young 'uns getting plastered.

Plus DP knows via a friend of a friend blah blah a dodgy character who a couple of years ago went on a special journey to Newquay in order to flog Mephadrone to the post-GCSE crew.

You have given me a WONDERFUL idea - I shall say that I will go with her . I would love to see the look on her face.

Why can't she go she is 16 she is not a child.

wouldn't let my 16 yo DS go.I won't even let hime go to allnight parties at his friends' houses.

You know how some "No"s have under the surface a "well, this, that or the other might make it acceptable in such and such a situation? Well this is a case of a NO without any circumstances that would make it acceptable. Have I made myself clear? My son is 16 very soon...

Oh, and I don't much like Cornwall, it's true (I am just being Devonian and parochial).

This is probably based on the fact that the places in Cornwall which I have visited have been uniformly awful (St Austell, Bodmin, Par, Bude).

I don't think dd is that fussed, tbh, she knew that I would say no. I am normally very relaxed about what she gets up to, but piss up weekends at 16 are non-negotiable.

We are not there yet, as dd is 10, but I would definitely say no, and dh would hit the roof at the mere suggestion.
I would let her go somewhere with a small group of friends though, as a compromise, maybe a music festival or something, which is also super cool, but the focus isn't on getting wasted, but having fun with your friends and listening to music (but my dd loves music and reads the NME so this would be right up her street - would your dd like something similar?)
But you are definitely NOT the only mother to say no!

Ten years ago I let DD go after several of her friends' mothers rang and pleaded (safety in numbers and all that). One mother said she and her family would be camping alongside them and would look out for them all.

It rained all week, the chaperoning parents buggered off home after the first night and DD found she hated drinking and particulary the hangover part. She spent most of the week throwing up and she couldn't wait to come home and sleep in her warm bed in clean pyjamas.

I said no to DS1 when he finished his exams and I will say no to DS2 when the time comes.

Besides Newquay is horrifying now. We used to take the big ones there when they were tots and it was lovely - all families and very attractive tousle- haired surfers. We visited recently for a weekend and, oh my god, it was all Stag parties and vomit.

I said no to DS1 a couple of summers ago. It's a long way away and there's far too much trouble available for ierresponsible teens.

In the end they had a weekend at Reading festival after the results came out, and had a fabulous time. I'm not sure why I thought this was better. Closer and a shorter time I suppose. Also virtually the whole class went, so less anonymity for shenanigans.

I am dreading this question, but I have a few years.....

I was Saffy from AbFab in my teenage years.

I went to Bamburgh in Northumberland with my friends for my post GCSE piss-up get together.

Which at the time i thought was an odd thing my parents to agree to as they were usually uber strict about me having-a life going out.

Looking back 23 years on i now know that they let me go because there is fuck all to do there other than sitting on the beach and cycling in the countryside. we-still found some booze in the offy and got pissed in the caravan instead

I think YANBU to not let her go to NQ but YABU if you dont let her go anywhere

Sorry - particularly

Stop being such a square and let her go!

No is the correct answer lol.

However my initial answer might be " I'm not at all sure I'd be happy with that, let e think and speak to some of your firends mums........"

This has worked on a couple of occasions when ds wanted to o something fairly inappropriate fr him ( ad 1 of those was an evn that dd1 was going to with her mates but I really didn't think he wa old enough )

Both fizzled out and he didn't go without me actually being heavy handed and stopping him.

What were you doing at 16?

Tbh I would have gone anyway at that age even if my mum had said no.

Wouldn't it be better to allow her and decide some ground rules and compromises than have her rebel?

Getorf why did you choose to visit par, not exactly on the tourist map.

OP YABU, why don't you trust her?

Actually it was found that lots of post gcse kids were arriving at newquay with booze packed from home rather than bought in resort. Plod met the trains and were confiscating the stuff from underage drinkers