to say to 16 year old dd 'no, you are not going on a post-GCSE piss-up to Vile Newquay?

[GetOrfMoiiLand]

Apparently I am the only mother in the entire United Kingdom who has said no.

She has said that she won't drink, she just wants to go because 'everybody in year 11 is going, mum, and I will feel left out'.

She evidently thinks I was born yesterday.

Can we get badges made with The Only Mum on them.

We can wear them with pride.

We went to Newquay last summer. I'd never been before and it wasn't as bad as I expected - mind you, we were staying 5 miles away and didn't hang about in the evenings! I know of that campsite GetOrf - it sounds like the one friends stayed in a couple of years ago. They told us to avoid it like the plague!
YANBU - I can't see myself allowing dd to go there when she's 16, unless we went too - which would probably put her right off!

what is it with these post-exams things anyway? We never went anywhere - although it's possible my classmates did and didn't tell me (I didn't live in the same city).

GetOrf I am Cornish but even I would rather chew off my own arm up to the elbow then drive past Newquay for five minutes. Horrible, monstorous fucking 'resort' held together by a web of fighting and vomit. I worked there for a day and saw a knickerless teenager (female) lying in the street opposite my shop while her mates fell over themselves drinking WKD - when I told them to help their mate out I got a mouthful of slurred abuse and one little charmer took a swing at me. It was about one in the afternoon which is normal for Newquay.

There are no salt-tousled, bleached blonde surfer dudes down there, despite what the tourist board woud have you believe, just stringy on-holiday-teenagers with pasty crumbs round their mouths and sweaty palms, who claim to have once frenchied a cast member of Hollyoaks. The cries of the gulls are drowned out by the sounds of hens and stags screeching and bickering and sirens. And please tell your DD that all the clubs in Newquay are shit, without exception. Ugh.

Not sure what I would do, I moved out and moved in with my boyfriend at 16 well nearly 17, don't think I like the thought of Newquay though although Ibiza would be worse!

Is she going to pay for it herself?

I would probably say no although we are saving for a caravan in Cornwall so by the time comes we will be there anyway.

Having said that after my GCSEs I backpacked around the UK. I didn't even ask for permission I just assumed it would be ok.

From about the age of 14 I often caught the train or bus to places like London or Bath and didn't always tell my mum in advance.

I'm more of a control freak than my mum and I can't imagine that I will be so relaxed when the time comes.

Not in a million years would i let either of mine go without adult supervision.

I would say no as well, despite buggering off to France for the summer at 16 with a mate and not getting in touch with my mother for four weeks. Mmmm, happy memories of kir royales......................drifts off into memory haze............................

YANBU.

I know exactly what I got up to at age 16 and that was in my own back yard so to speak - never on a weekend away - and that is the precise reason I will be saying NO in the future...

DDs are only 8 and 5 ATM but I am already dreading the teenage years because I know what a b*tch I was to my own mum.

I really am quite scared of it all TBH.

haha tsc I did nearly type in my last post that one day she is going to say to me 'no matter what I do mum at least I am no a pregnant teen like you'

I banking on the fact that I had a completely different uprbigning from her is a viable enough reason.

TBH I didn't drink at that age, I left home post GCSE so was too busy working to go out on the razz have made up for it in my 30s

Hopefully it will fizzle out to nothing - I am taking her away at the beginning of July (straight after the prom) so hopefully it will clash with all the piss up plans.

Funnily enough she is going to the Wireless festival with some mates and I am not at all fussed about that - I think it is just the though of hordes of dozy 16 year olds in bollocking Newquay.

Perhaps will suggest that she goes with some naice friends to Croyde or Woolacombe instead (and they can then stay with my mother )

I'd let her go. I was allowed to go to Germany on a cadet trip at 15 and it was utterly amazing. I drank a bit and snogged a few boys but I was a smart kid and they were right to trust me.

After my exams I went backpacking in the Lake District. Like Haziedoll it wasn't something I sought permission for per se. I merely presented a plan and we discussed it.

Will she be paying for it herself? Is she sensible? My mum would have let me go at that age.

I am now slightly stressed - live just outside Newquay and although my dd is only a toddler, am beginning to wonder if I should send her away when she turns 16!
No idea what Newquay nightlife is like - haven't seen outside the house past 7.00 for ages. But in the daytime it's ok (ish). We do spend most of our time at the beach though and not wandering around town centres.
It's not supposed to be good though - I'd consider letting her go somewhere else but not somewhere that is known for out-of-control kids, and the people (who want to sell them stuff) that this reputation attracts.

I agree with tsc that have to let them go and 16/17 usually age they want to go. Just not sure Newquay is place to go for reasons baby explains. Yes they are going to drink/be silly etc but I would prefer dd to go somewhere slightly less geared towards drunken /silly and potentially dangerous behaviour as Newquay . Tbh I would feel same about a lot of overseas resorts with bad reputations too.

Is there something specific about Newquay you don't like? Can't you tell her so? Or is it the idea of going away anywhere at 16? What are you worried will happen? If she's in a group her safety should be about the same as on a night out at home, and pregnancy can happen anywhere...

After my GCSEs my best friend and I disappeared off for a week, and i called home three times (arrival, a midweek update, and to say I was coming home) and that was it. But then I was born sensible and my parents figured I was able to call the police if anything bad had happened.

I would also point out that she is legally old enough to be married (with consent, but still). Practically adult.

I don't have kids (disclaimer) but I'd let her go. So she'll get drunk, puke a bit and roll in some gutters - it's what kids do. She's probably doing it anyway behind your back

I think there's a massive difference between letting a 16yo go off and do something, on their own or with friends, and what Newquay just after GCSEs sounds like. The impression you get is of non-stop Club 18-30 style drinking and shagging.

I don't mean it's terrible if 16yo drink a bit, and it's legal for them to have sex of course. And let's face it most of us experienced at least a bit of both at that age. But letting them go somewhere where that is the entire point of the place/occasion is different from trusting them to go on holiday in general, or even to a festival, without supervision.

My ds is 17 next month and luckily this hasnt come up yet, I would have told him if you pay yourself at that age (knowing he didnt have the money) he's matured alot in the last year 6 months so I wouldn't be as worried if he wanted to go now. I do think once they have left school they should be aloud more freedom, but sometimes that means paying for it yourself

I am going against the grain. I say let her. My mother was incredibly prohibitive at that age, growing up in the Westcountry I went ahead and went out anyway (woolacombe after GCSEs) my parent friends covered for me and we would go out on in retrospect incredibly dangerous trips to nightclubs in Plymouth, also Newquay. When my mother became more permissive I almost instantly became more responsible. And had got the whole party lifestyle out of my system by 23. Taught me to take responsibility for my own safety and those around me.

I did a thread like this last year on behalf of a friend and iirc the overwhelming feeling was that going away at 16 with mates wasn't a bad thing per se, but going away to Newquay at 16 with mates was perhaps a bad idea. Compromise was the key I think, no to Newquay but yes to somewhere with less pressure to drink excessively and behave maybe out of character.

FWIW my friend didn't allow her DS to go (neither did any of the other parents who had allegedly given permission when he first asked...) and he went to a 3 day music festival instead with no ill effects

"So she'll get drunk, puke a bit and roll in some gutters - it's what kids do."

Never did & never have done tbh.