to be livid with DH?

[meravigliosa]

I left DD, 13 weeks, with DH to go to a training session for work this evening. I told him specifically that if he was feeding her there were two sterilised bottles in the fridge and he should fill one with carton formula. I also told him specifically that the bottles in the steriliser had not been sterilised, nanny had washed them but not run steriliser. I spelled this out because to avoid him using the unsterilised bottles.

I get home to find he had done opposite and tried to feed her from one of the unsterilised bottles. She didn't take the feed, but she did have the teat in her mouth.

I am worried sick that DD will have come to harm as a result of this. Sick also that he just doesn't listen to me at all, about anything, even when important information relevant to wellbeing of DD.

She is supposed to have 2nd round of immunisations tomorrow, but I am worried that her immune system may have been challenged enough for one week.

I think being livid is an overreaction. If the bottles had been washed then they are really unlikely to cause a problem.

Is she your first?

Believe me, by the time you get onto your 3rd you won't care if the dogs had it

The bottles had been washed, your dd will be fine. Honest.

I'm sure she'll be fine but I have to ask why do you keep empty sterilised bottles in the fridge?

She'll more than likely be ok. It's worrying and sad that you feel your dh doesn't listen to you though

YANBU to be upset with dh , but you should try not to over react. If the bottles were well washed, most likely they will be fine. Especially if he simply tried to feed her then stopped - the main issue with any potential bacteria in that situation is that is allows the milk to go off fasted, but it won't have caused the milk to sour in such a short time.

It takes dads longer to get into these things or to understand the issues. It's very top of mind to you. Explain calmly why you are annoyed and that you need him to pay attention. But also try get him involved - giving dh lists of instructions seldom worked for me but once he understood the sterilisation process I did not have to.

And Breathe.....

If the bottles were washed she will be fine

Your dh is a bumpy though. I really don't understand why some of them can't understand simple instructions (or requests if you prefer!). It's almost like thy think 'if I get it wrong, she won't ask me to do it again'

I once worked for a very highly respected qc, he may have been very intelligent but had no common sense what so ever!!

I have no advice to offer but just wanted you to know I feel your pain.

Sorry, northcountry girl, she is my third , though his first. She is mostly bf and I didn't use any bottles with the other two until they were a bit bigger. She only gets bottles when I have to work, and I am a bit OCD about them. I am annoyed that he somehow managed to blank out what I said and do exactly the opposite.

I keep them in the fridge because kitchen is absolutely tiny, and there is just no space on surfaces or in cupboards -- the fridge thing isn't part of the madness!

YANBU. If he can't listen know then when will he? It's not as if it is rocket science.

My exp used to do this, blank out what I said and do the opposite. I found it rather disrespectful tbh, as if what I was saying didn't matter.

She will be absolutely fine don't worry about her for another second. YANBU to be livid with him though. Its horrible feeling that you're not being heard esp when its important. Perhaps he is sleep deprived?

Oh, she'll be fine. It's not a huge deal.
Sterilised bottles in the fridge seems like a weird idea to me-if I was a bit disorganized/forgetful, I would look for them in the steriliser as well, as it seems more logical place.

He is not sleep deprived (and neither am I to be fair). I do all the night feeds as DD is mainly bf, but she goes straight back to sleep and usually I can too.

Gotcha

you sound, umm, how to put it nicely, slightly unbalanced.

Honestly, is there something else wrong, because this is a total over reaction,

Sounds like my dh. Sometimes I wonder how he manages to hold down a successful and highly technical job when basic hygiene instructions are so clearly beyond him. It IS annoying but there's not much you can do beyond repeatedly spelling everything out and treating him like an idiot.

If she is mainly BF then she will have a strong immune system. You don't sterilise yourself before you feed her (do you?) and she has been fine so far.

Does he have much to do with her when you're around? I wouldn't expect to have to tell my partner what to do: I'd want him to be as well informed as me.

Just had my sister and her lovely PFB staying from the US, and they don't sterilise anything in America. She was very confused when i I even mentioned it. Please don't worry.

Gotcha?

I don't think you're unbalanced, it's annoying when someone ignores you. Also I remember flipping my lid when dh told me he given 4 months old ds a tiny tiny speck of ice cream!

You have to write it down, they don't listen.
Fortunately it doesn't matter and DCs generally survive being looked after by their Dads'

Gotcha as in I see what you mean about keeping bottles in the fridge

yes I have 2 under 4, current thinking is that nothing needs steralising, I never used bottles anyway, but when I (hahahahahahaha) did try expressing, I just dishwahsered them.

Then I gave up expressing.