to be livid with DH?

[meravigliosa]

I left DD, 13 weeks, with DH to go to a training session for work this evening. I told him specifically that if he was feeding her there were two sterilised bottles in the fridge and he should fill one with carton formula. I also told him specifically that the bottles in the steriliser had not been sterilised, nanny had washed them but not run steriliser. I spelled this out because to avoid him using the unsterilised bottles.

I get home to find he had done opposite and tried to feed her from one of the unsterilised bottles. She didn't take the feed, but she did have the teat in her mouth.

I am worried sick that DD will have come to harm as a result of this. Sick also that he just doesn't listen to me at all, about anything, even when important information relevant to wellbeing of DD.

She is supposed to have 2nd round of immunisations tomorrow, but I am worried that her immune system may have been challenged enough for one week.

The logical place for sterilised bottles to be is in the steriliser. He misheard or misunderstood you.. it happens. Its really no big deal as she didnt even have any of the milk anyway.

You think about all the babies that have dummies and their mothers clean them by sucking on them when they have been dropped... those kids still grow up into healthy toddlers and teenagers..

At 3 months her immune system will be developing, and she will be absolutely fine.

You should have just told your DH to use the bottles in the fridge and not mentioned the other ones in the steriliser. Too many messages/commands can get garbled. If someone tells me Not to Do Something but Do Something Else Different but Similar, I inevitably get them muddled unless I really am paying proper attention.

All your H probably head was Bottles...blah blah use the sterilised ones but not the not sterilised ones in the steriliser...blah blah.

heard not head, of course

I don't think you're unbalanced, it's annoying when someone ignores you. Also I remember flipping my lid when dh told me he given 4 months old ds a tiny tiny speck of ice cream

And you dont think that is a bit of an unbalanced over-reaction??

Hi OP she will be fine, I will make you feel better now my ex Dh who was a doctor made up bottles for my first Ds with water from the tap!

I will agree that in the US nobody sterilizes anything.

They also give water straight from the tap.

The water might be due to how its treated ...but the sterilizing...don't give it a second thought :)

When ds4 cries I stick an unsterlised pinky in his mouth - he's 12 weeks and still going - he's bf so I figure his immune system should be ok. I seriously think your dd will survive one unsterlised bottle although I do appreciate how annoying it can be when DH does not take in a word you say - mine does this lots too- it makes you feel like you're nagging when you're not.

You use cartons of milk but worry about unsterilised bottles??

Isn't it more important to sterilise things that have been in contact with formula because it can sometimes have some really nasty bugs in it that you don't find on your fingers or on dummies? So sterilisation is recommended specifically for items that have been in contact with formula. I'm sure the baby will be fine btw.

YANBU to be mad for not listening properly. DP does this and it drives me mad.

You do sound a leeeetle unbalanced about the sterilising though. This on a previous thread suggests the UK is pretty much the only country to bother sterilising.

muffin, don't understand your comment. The cartons are of ready mixed formula -- I don't use much formula so use them instead of making it up from powder, as it would take a long time to use up a tin. I thought current advice (which has changed since I had first two DCs) was that carton formula was slightly safer than powdered formula because of bugs in the powdered stuff.

Oh it's also your 3rd - probably just me that's slack

To be fair sometimes I will have a conversation with someone and then completely forget what we've been talking about and have to ask the same question again. So it's not necessarily that he's not listening to you - just that it's not been "retained" if that makes sense.

Sorry shineonyoucrazydiamond, not a pisstake. I know I am probably a bit over the top about sterilising -- the hygiene thing does make me nervous, and I'm much happier bf-ing and not having to faff about with the bottles. I was really angry mainly because of the not being listened to thing.

Thanks for all the replies to this.

Agree, too many instructions, I too was paranoid about sterilising, so what I did was put the steriliser on when I'd finished the feed so that the bottles were always sterilised. That way dp knew if the lid was on the steriliser properly everything was ok to use, if not the steriliser needed to go on! I personally think you complicated things by putting them in the fridge (which isn't sterile anyway )

I would be angry that he hadn't listened, but I think you should try not to sweat the little things

It's not nice when people don't listen but I think you're being a bit PFB on this one.

If it's washed, it'll be fine. Even if she did take a full feed from it, she'll be fine. Lots of countries don't sterilise at all and I stopped at 5-6 months. Sometimes it's good for your baby, antibodies to build up a naturally strong immune system.

I have to say you are overreacting. It's a little mistake it's not the end of the world. I think there is more to this than just not using the correct bottles. Do you feel he never listens to you in other situations ?

It's his first child.
It's your third child.

The baby is 13 weeks old.

You are going to be more clued up, do you take complete control over the baby?
Is he allowed an input?

If you want a father who is involved, and not undermined so he's too worried to do anything in case he gets it wrong, I'd let him get on with it and make a few mistakes.

Livid? Really? Definitely your first baby.

The idea that anything sterilised in a home steriliser is actualyy sterile is a joke. As soon as you open the steriliser, the things in it are no longer sterile.

So relax. And stop sterilising.

What tee said. The minute you opened the steriliser and put the bottle in the fridge it stopped being sterile anyway! Does his not listening manifest itself in other ways? Perhaps you need a general chat about that. Perhaps he ignored your 'instructions' on this because he didn't agree with them...what does he think about sterilising bottles?

Yanbu in so much that it isn't rocket science and he shouldn't be careless...no harder to use the ones out of the fridge. But honestly, I wouldn't worry and wouldn't be livid.