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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that this is a peculiarly nasty way for a grownup to treat a child. Warning IL related.

205 replies

lightofmylifelol · 11/01/2012 21:42

Namechanger as I'm not sure if SIL is on here. Cutteduppear, mortimer, pearlbarley.

Well I have a lovely little boy of just 5 - he started Reception in September and is absolutely sailing through lol - the teacher is really impressed with his abilties (she told me to keep doing what I have obviously been doing with him as he's so ace [proud]) and all my mummyfriends are AmazeGosh when we talk about reading levels. Smile

Anyway, so I do whitter abit, lol, but what happened today was this - DMIL and DFIL come round 3 times a week to help me out - I have a lo as well, and it's just so exhausting having one at school and a smaller one isn't? So they tend to do things like washing and ironing and DFIL loves to throw the hoover around - they also bring a meal to help me out and pick DS up from school twice a week and play with him here. It's usually lovely although DFIL has taught DS to drink the remains of his crisps from the packet.

So, to today, DS decided to teach gramps how to play "duminoes" pmsl, of course gramps is a good sport and pretended that DS was actually teaching him. Awww. BUT he didn't let DS win! 7 games in all they played - and gramps absolutely whooped him 6 times out of 7. The eejit. DS was exceedingly upset and cried for hours, I tried all the tactics in the book, explaining to himabout people being mean, and ice cream and extra stories at bedtime, but to no avail. The little soul went to be very saddened by the whole experience.

This really isn't on is it? We never have let him experience such unkindness before. No-one would not let a 5yo win would they? It just crumples children, and they're only young once, it's such a shame.

They've gone now but I've just sat here and thought about it and I'm fuming.

AIBU? And WIBU to speak to gramps it?

Angry
OP posts:
QOD · 11/01/2012 22:43

#amazeballs. and I don't twitter

BillyBollyBandy · 11/01/2012 22:44

Is this a storyline from Peppa Pig - "When Swine Go Bad"

Grampy Rabbit is always looking for an opportunity to bring Richard and Rebecca down a peg or two.

MortaIWombat · 11/01/2012 22:45

Come on then, OP. Who are you? Grin

Victorialucas · 11/01/2012 22:47

You are reading the wrong books.

Yabvvvvvvu

AfternoonsandCoffeespoons · 11/01/2012 22:48

Haha Loving this thread! OP I'm wondering if You lot have crap SOH tonight was a clue??

justonemorejingle · 11/01/2012 22:51

If this is for real

  1. I would probably let a 5 year old win but wouldn't pander to them if obviously loving grandparent in every other respect didn't let them win. Lessons in life can be learnt from everyone, that's what extended family is for

  2. If you don't want these dictatorial dinner cooking, hoovering (this has got to be a wind up... FIL hoovering for you!!?? It's not as if you have quadruplets!), then please feel free to send them over here.

  3. do we get to find out if this is a wind up?

blackeyedsusan · 11/01/2012 22:51

ahh mortimer..

blackeyedsusan · 11/01/2012 22:52

oops sorry got distracted will go and read op now.. Wink

justonemorejingle · 11/01/2012 22:53

Aahhh, now I get it. [gullable]

WinterIsComing · 11/01/2012 22:53

Dominogate Grin

HedleyLamarr · 11/01/2012 22:57

The best trolling contains an elephant element of truth.

apocalypstick · 11/01/2012 22:58

Have my first Biscuit

Proudnscary · 11/01/2012 23:03

I love the cutted up pear thread.

I don't love this one - the spoof OP wasn't nearly funny enough.

himynameisfred · 11/01/2012 23:08

LOL @ OP

Sorry I was getting ready to read about some abuse a poor child may have recieved.

LOL

I'm sure if your child is usually a winner in life, it will do him no harm in being beaten for once.

Maybe that's why the child cried for hours, because they're too used to being the best.
Maybe grandpa provided a good dose of reality to the child about how he can also lose sometimes in life and don't get so used to being the best.

It is a bit mean, but also tough love, given how you described people often being amazed by how 'up there' your child is, I'm really not so sympathic about him losing the dominoes games, lol

TrinityRhino · 11/01/2012 23:10

link me the cutted up pear, I can't find it

pleeeease

exoticfruits · 11/01/2012 23:12

I'm sure it is a wind up. I used to have the opposite problem with grandparents and had to beg them not to let him win-it isn't a good thing.

bigeyes · 11/01/2012 23:12

IMO 5yr old is old enough to learn.about winning AND losing its part or normal rl, if you nurture him to think that things always go his way/win you are not teaching him how to handle disappointments.

I think it's awful you tried to bribe him with all the usual, a gentle but firm explanation would suffice in our hose and not offered ice cream for comfort.

VPN indeed yabu.

WinterIsComing · 11/01/2012 23:14

Cutted up pear Trin Smile

bigeyes · 11/01/2012 23:14

Oh, didn't realise George was five already

bobbledunk · 11/01/2012 23:21
Grin
Lueji · 11/01/2012 23:30

I tried all the tactics in the book, explaining to himabout people being mean, and ice cream and extra stories at bedtime, but to no avail.

Why would you tell him that IL was mean? Confused
You could have said anything, from beginners luck to fast learner (IL is older, hence has more experience or something), or that it's a game of luck.

If you REALLY want to help your son deal with failure, you should tell him when he loses he can learn from it so that he can win in future.
True winners don't like to lose, but learn how to deal correctly with failure (a step towards winning) and are (usually) not cry babies about it.

All you did was pander to his bad losing. :-(

TuftyFinch · 11/01/2012 23:46

You vacuum, you don't hoover. Hoover is a brand name. Anyway...

First of all I think you need to think about vacuuming in front of children. All the latest research shows that vacuum cleaners emit really high decibels that have a detrimental affect on children's hearing. The advice given is to do it at 5am because that's the time when there's the most ambient sound to soak up the high frequency noise.

As for the dominoes thing. What is dominoes? Is it like Ker-Plunk? I've never heard of it.

YuleingFanjo · 11/01/2012 23:51

yeah right!

yellowraincoat · 11/01/2012 23:51

You can hoover. Hoover has become a verb and the generic name for a vacuum cleaner.

TuftyFinch · 11/01/2012 23:53

Oh bollocks Yellow really? Oh, well. I tried Grin