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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that this is a peculiarly nasty way for a grownup to treat a child. Warning IL related.

205 replies

lightofmylifelol · 11/01/2012 21:42

Namechanger as I'm not sure if SIL is on here. Cutteduppear, mortimer, pearlbarley.

Well I have a lovely little boy of just 5 - he started Reception in September and is absolutely sailing through lol - the teacher is really impressed with his abilties (she told me to keep doing what I have obviously been doing with him as he's so ace [proud]) and all my mummyfriends are AmazeGosh when we talk about reading levels. Smile

Anyway, so I do whitter abit, lol, but what happened today was this - DMIL and DFIL come round 3 times a week to help me out - I have a lo as well, and it's just so exhausting having one at school and a smaller one isn't? So they tend to do things like washing and ironing and DFIL loves to throw the hoover around - they also bring a meal to help me out and pick DS up from school twice a week and play with him here. It's usually lovely although DFIL has taught DS to drink the remains of his crisps from the packet.

So, to today, DS decided to teach gramps how to play "duminoes" pmsl, of course gramps is a good sport and pretended that DS was actually teaching him. Awww. BUT he didn't let DS win! 7 games in all they played - and gramps absolutely whooped him 6 times out of 7. The eejit. DS was exceedingly upset and cried for hours, I tried all the tactics in the book, explaining to himabout people being mean, and ice cream and extra stories at bedtime, but to no avail. The little soul went to be very saddened by the whole experience.

This really isn't on is it? We never have let him experience such unkindness before. No-one would not let a 5yo win would they? It just crumples children, and they're only young once, it's such a shame.

They've gone now but I've just sat here and thought about it and I'm fuming.

AIBU? And WIBU to speak to gramps it?

Angry
OP posts:
MrsPotter · 11/01/2012 21:55

wow.Biscuit

Kladdkaka · 11/01/2012 21:55

Even at 5 my daughter was smart enough to spot a thrown game. She'd be livid. She'd want to win fair and square.

StewieGriffinsMom · 11/01/2012 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 · 11/01/2012 21:56

And WTF at DMIL and DFIL come round 3 times a week to help me out - I have a lo as well, and it's just so exhausting having one at school and a smaller one isn't? So they tend to do things like washing and ironing and DFIL loves to throw the hoover around - they also bring a meal to help me out and pick DS up from school twice a week and play with him here.

I mean, really??? I wonder how on earth I managed to do all of this myself? Maybe I am supermum! Hmm

Spero · 11/01/2012 21:57

Dammit. Just don't try playing Connect Four with children, it is actually quite hard to lose. Many a happy evening has been spent with my daughter screaming in a corner after I thrashed her again with four in a row.

Perhaps the victory dance was over the top, but she is learning about disappointment in a controlled environment so job done I think.

TongueTwisted · 11/01/2012 21:57

You are being a bit precious. When I play games with the children at work, I let them win once each, and let myself win at some point too.

They do need to be taught that they can't win at everything.

YAB a bit U

Abirdinthehand · 11/01/2012 21:58

Yabu

whattodoo · 11/01/2012 21:59

I think you should have it out with Gramps. Tell him how mean he has been, how he's crumpled his GS's childhood.

I wonder in which direction Gramps will 'throw' the hoover next time he visits?

lightofmylifelol · 11/01/2012 21:59

Yes. I suppose sharing the winning streak would be better, whichever way it needs, but I honestly thought it was better to build their confidence first and then dilute it later. I have read books.

OP posts:
Spero · 11/01/2012 22:00

oooo. Do share. What books?

baubleybobbityhat · 11/01/2012 22:00

Aww, yes I think it was a bit mean of gramps to have to win 6 out of the 7 games. Sounds like he has a touch of the old competitive grandad syndrome. He could have tried to make the tally a little more equal.

SiamoNellaMerda · 11/01/2012 22:01

I've never understood why people go to all this bother to post a shitload of complete bollocks and then don't even make it good bollocks.

1/10 OP and next time try a bit harder.

Backtobedlam · 11/01/2012 22:03

Send your ds over here for a game on our wii...dp takes great delight in thrashing our 3yr old and then gleefully chants 'im the winner' over and over. The odd time dc has won OH switches it off and says its bedtime!

purpleknittingmum · 11/01/2012 22:03

I did the same as TongueTwisted, kind of shared the wins out when playing snap etc, made sure I won some as well.

One of my friends know someone who plays very biased snap with their daughter so she never loses, when my friend played with her the girl was telling her how to play and was most put out to be told the correct way to play it!

lightofmylifelol · 11/01/2012 22:03

Thank you baubley. Smile

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 11/01/2012 22:04

You sound really entitled

to a Biscuit and 4 out of 10
At least you managed a fair bit of mumsnet bingo
Genius child
IL
Entitlement
Couldn't FIL have fed him a greggs sausage roll as well?

pigletmania · 11/01/2012 22:04

Amazegosh wtf is that! A bit boasty op eh!

ninah · 11/01/2012 22:06

I am loving your bogus mn credentials
cutteduppear wtf! nice try

whackamole · 11/01/2012 22:07

Why don't you buy him a present to make up for it? That'll teach him an even better lesson.

Vickles · 11/01/2012 22:07

And '1', '2', '3'..... and your back in the room!
Oh please.... get a grip woman!
Is this for real?

stealthsquiggle · 11/01/2012 22:07

LOL @ laptopdancer.

lightofmylifelol · 11/01/2012 22:08

What's bogus about cutteduppear? I am really puzzled.

OP posts:
EmmaBemma · 11/01/2012 22:08

YABU. Life is pain, as I often tell my four year old, whilst annihilating her for the tenth time at "Crazy Chefs" or "Monkey Business" (she hasn't yet learned that an even distribution of monkeys around the tree branches is vital to success, and I'm not about to fill her in)

ninah · 11/01/2012 22:08

actually I give it a '4'
as a long standing mnetter you'll know what that means op

Morloth · 11/01/2012 22:09

On the off chance this isn't a wind up.

We have never let DS1 win. He is older now and regularly kicks our arses at games etc.

No chance I would have diluted his victories by babying him.

He learned how to lose and how to win. That's life.