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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

RE: giving lifts?

131 replies

Davyveel · 11/01/2012 17:55

One of the senior teachers when I was at school recently died - i went to a small girl bording school and was 'invited' along with all other previous head girls (who were head girls when she was teaching) to go.

I decide that I would drive - it is easier to get there by car, means I have more flexibility and means that after funeral I can go visit some family who live relatively close to old school.

One of the women i went to school with goes to the same gym and was also head girl (3 yrs above me)

About a day after funeral was announced (it is this Saturday). I was at Gym waiting for DH and she came out. We got talking and asked each other how and when we were getting there.

I am going up this friday about 10 and so can have a rest (I am pregnant 8 mnth pregnant) before going to the old girls and staff and boards thing on the friday late afternoon/night (the schools remembrance for this teacher).

She said she was going by train and then asked if it was possible to give her a lift.
I said that i wouldn't be driving back as going to see family but of course i could give her a lift up.

She said that was fine and would be great, i said i would pick her up at 10 on friday. She said great and we left it.

Yesterday i got a text asking that as something had come up on Friday would it be possible to pick her up at half 10 instead?
Half hour i am not that bothered about so I said no problem.

She texted me today saying that would I mind picking her up after lunch instead about 1 o'clock?

When I said I could give her a lift I did tell her that i was leaving that early so could rest before evening thing (which I know will go on for a while)

AIBU to say to her that I plan to leave in the morning and unfortunately I am unable to give her a lift at that time ? When it is this Friday?

OP posts:
Angel786 · 11/01/2012 17:57

Yanbu gist tell her ten / half ten is the latest you can do, your doing her a favour!

Pascha · 11/01/2012 17:57

Why can't you just say no, sorry I need to leave by 10.30. She can still catch the train.

Sevenfold · 11/01/2012 17:57

yanbu
she is, just text back and say no sorry that you have plans and can pick her up no later than 10.30.
remember you are helping her

IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 · 11/01/2012 17:58

YANBU! Tell her you are leaving at 10.30 with or without her!

imoanruby · 11/01/2012 17:59

YANBU, she is - if you have already told her you need to leave early.

I would say sorry i am leaving at 10.30, let me know if you would still like a life. You're doing her a favour!

NoWuckingFurries · 11/01/2012 18:00

YANBU. At 8 months pregnant a rest is almost mandatory! Don't feel guilty or let her guilt trip you. You are doing her a favour.

catsareevil · 11/01/2012 18:00

YANBU. She can still get the train if thats a better fit with her plans.

picnicbasketcase · 11/01/2012 18:01

'Really sorry - have plans that day and cannot leave later than 10.30.'

End of.

Do not enter into further texts or plans. You're doing her a favour and she's messing you about.

Eglu · 11/01/2012 18:02

YANBU. A 'Sorry that won't be possible I need to leave in the morning. See you there' would be fine.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 11/01/2012 18:03

YADNBU. Just tell her you'll be leaving at 10.30 as you need a rest. Totally reasonable.

Could you text now please? And let us know what she says? [nosy emoticon]

ViviPru · 11/01/2012 18:04

I can't believe the cheek of some people.

fuzzysnout · 11/01/2012 18:05

YADNBU. Your friend is BU and very rude.

mumofjust1 · 11/01/2012 18:06

Agree with Eglu.

Ending with "see you there" is a good idea - suggests that you won't be giving her a lift now full stop so leaves no room for further haggling.

And no, you are most definately not being unreasonable Smile

OlympicEater · 11/01/2012 18:06

YANBU - she is taking the piss. Do tell us what she says though when you tell her to bugger off that you can't take her

SantasENormaSnob · 11/01/2012 18:15

Yanbu

She is.

Shutupanddrive · 11/01/2012 18:16

YANBU text her now and then report back!

Whatmeworry · 11/01/2012 18:18

She texted me today saying that would I mind picking her up after lunch instead about 1 o'clock?

"Sorry, must leave by 10.30 latest. See you there"

ViviPru · 11/01/2012 18:18

I do love a real-time live YABU. Text her OP.

ViviPru · 11/01/2012 18:19

AIBU even duh Hmm

IWantMyHatBack · 11/01/2012 18:20

Well, she did only ask, but everybody is right - half an hour is fine, 3 hours is not.

Just say no :)

JaxTellerIsMyFriend · 11/01/2012 18:22

The cheek of this woman! Text her NOW and let us know any response.

Dont be weak, you are doing her a huge favour. She is taking the P.

LucyGoose · 11/01/2012 18:29

Why is it so hard for people to say "No, sorry my plan is xyz"? End of story.

Davyveel · 11/01/2012 18:30

okay have just sent her a text

'hey, sorry i didn't reply straight away. I am sorry but unfortunately I can't leave that late, I have to leave around 10. If that doesn't fit with you then I will see you at the School tomorrow night. Davy xx'

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 11/01/2012 18:30

I just can't see why this is an AIBU.

What's next? "I'm just about to eat a sandwich and the girl at the next desk has asked if she can have it. AIBU to eat it?"

PierceDeere · 11/01/2012 18:33

Gosh, isn't she cheeky?

Do let us know if she replies, won't you, OP?

nose like a beak emoticon