Honest Advice-Problem re our house

[twincrazy]

We moved will be 2yrs this July into a house that was abit out of reach mortgage wise, but we needed a 4th bedroom, and DH wanted to push himself mortgage wise. We live in a nice area, and the house is lovely.

BUT...the problem is this

When we looked around, we knew it all needed doing up, and we moved in with about 60k, the lounge was a massive overhaul and was done in the summer taking out about 20k roughly.

Our bedroom has been gutted back to plaster and so has the our little girl next to us.

My husband is very very good at DIY and can do everything apart from plumbing

But he only gets one day off a week and is doing the house up in this time, it has even got to the stage since October that he has been rewiring the house

The bottom line is I HATE living like this - I want it done now, but everytime I bring it up..it causes a row.

I have been told the money is drying up - I have no idea how much we have left and DH will not get any help in.

The boys rooms are just horrid - and it all it will take is filling in holes, new flooring,skirting boards, and painting. All the landings are the same...

Anyway Im not sure what the answer is but its really stressing me out now.

Just thought Id sound it off

I can't believe a married couple do not have equal access to all the money. Never mind the house,the situation is unacceptable and you should insist on seeing the statements referring to the account. Is the house in joint names?

Sorry if this has been said but...get in there yourself! It winds me up when women complain "Oh he wont fill this hole"....it's the same as decorating a bloody cake! get in there woman!

Abit of progress I have spoken to him this morning, and he agreed to sit down and show me everything that has been spend although we have totted things up as we went along. This will happen over the weeeknd.

There is nothing serious behind him not sitting down with me its just he knows I will suggest a tradesman in and it will all water away.

I have to say whoever made the comment of him fathering another child....why did you think that? couldnt you see that I am weak at the moment, wouldnt you have thought that may have ripped things apart even more? I think personally you are watching too many soap programmes!!

Can I just say though you lot have been really helpful, coming up with just a few words of wisdom. Thank you all, and I will carry on letting you know

x

OP I agree that to suggest that he'd fathered another child is a bit far-fetched and hurtful without any evidence too suggest us.

However to suggest that he's spent £60k of your joint money on a refurbishment (without labour costs, so that's just on materials)without showing you where it has been spent sets alarm bells ringing for a lot of us here, it warrants further investigation and clarification.

Did this never occur to you that the amounts talked about were out of kilter with what was being done?

If you don't feel confident about managing money and would like some advice about getting clued up financially, I'd suggest the Citizens Advice Bureau website phone line might be a good place to start as any.