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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it unreasonable to expect parents to NOT take pictures at soft play when it is well posted that the centre forbids it?

188 replies

CurlyBoy · 10/01/2012 20:45

I took my 2 yo boy to soft play today. One reason I like this one is that it has a policy of no photographs (the other is that they have proper coffee). This policy is well signed and is on the "rules" sheet that everyone should read and sign that they have done so. Our little guy is adopted and I can't risk any pics of him posted online. We really don't want the birth family to be nosing around. For all I know the photographer could be friends with the sister of birth dad or something.

Today I saw two different families photoing their kid. The first time I didn't say anything because my boy wasn't in the area but the second time he was. I asked a staffer if I was right about their policy (I was) and then asked her to make an announcement over the PA system to remind everyone.

If people can't follow the rules of an establishment then they shouldn't go. The policy is there for a reason!

OP posts:
Original poster
CurlyBoy · 10/01/2012 21:05

ecclesvet Because I don't live in a plastic bubble. It's about managing risk. I specifically chose a soft play that has this existing policy and I do not think I am unreasonable to expect people to follow the rules.

OP posts:
Pippinintherain · 10/01/2012 21:06

People should follow rules, but it is a ridiculous rule!

Millicano · 10/01/2012 21:06

yes, i have read the OP.

Whilst I sympathise with the situation you are in, I feel the chances of him being photographed in the soft play area, then posted on tinternet to be seen by his birth family, are pretty much the same as him being photographed in the street, and it being posted on the net and be spotted by his birth family,

But he will not be kept indoor all the time. Life is full of risks which we weigh up every day. I would say the risk of the above happening is minute.

pigletmania · 10/01/2012 21:07

The thing is you cannot keep your ds in a bubble all his life, there are times when he will be photographed during his life, there are other adoptive parents like you, I wonder if they feel the same way you do.

BluddyMoFo · 10/01/2012 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigletmania · 10/01/2012 21:08

Thats what I was thinking bluddy

Whatmeworry · 10/01/2012 21:09

People should follow rules, but it is a ridiculous rule!

I disagree - when rules are ridiculous, people should question why they exist, and ignore them. It is because people follow like sheep that the number of ridiculous laws grows and grows..

SucksToBeMe · 10/01/2012 21:09

If I take picture of my son in public places i always zoom in to remove strangers/other children from the photo. I am not bothered about other peoples children! But I do appreciate that the OP has good reason to have a problem that the child may be photographed.

Millicano · 10/01/2012 21:11

bluddy = just what i was thinking too

canyou · 10/01/2012 21:11

Pippin one of my DC was almost snatched from school by 'friends' of her birth mother, they found the school through a pic my DD was in at a school activity posted on F/B. We did not know the parent who took the pic.
Our local play centre has a specific area with cut outs etc for pictures, pictures can also be taken at the party tables but not anywhere else. Staff will stand and make watch people delete pictures taken outside the designated area

Pippinintherain · 10/01/2012 21:11

Because it is a ridiculous rule then people will ignore it.

OP if you can ask people to not take his photo in the park then you can ask in a softplay.

Original poster
CurlyBoy · 10/01/2012 21:12

Millicano The risk may be small, but I have heard stories of it happening. Circles of friends are large and overlapping. I am constantly amazed when a friend of a friend of a friend is someone I know. It happens pretty regularly.

pigletmania As he gets older it is much less of an issue as they probably won't recognise him. The other 6 adoptive families we know all feel the same way, as do the social workers in our local authority.

OP posts:
Original poster
CurlyBoy · 10/01/2012 21:13

BluddyMoFo - Are you calling me stupid? Bite me.

OP posts:
Millicano · 10/01/2012 21:13

And as for being in the park and saying to people not to get your boy in the pic, dont you think you are drawing even more attention to yourself, ducking and diving from every camera

canyou · 10/01/2012 21:13

Oh and I would never be to bothered by people taking pictures in a park or public areas as they will not identify where we live go to school etc.

BluddyMoFo · 10/01/2012 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pippinintherain · 10/01/2012 21:15

Canyou, so taking photos in a softplay wouldn't identify where you live or go to school would it? They all look the bloody same.

Robinredboobs · 10/01/2012 21:15

I don't understand what would happen if by some freaking miracle of the millenia the birth parents actually found a picture of a total stranger with him in the background posted online. Can someone explain to me?
Isn't it more dangerous that he is allowed outside where thousands of people have the opportunity to not only see him, but photograph him as well? It's just bizarre to me. OP, can you be more clear about why he is not to be seen online, yet outside is fine? Or do you plan to keep him indoors?

WorraLiberty · 10/01/2012 21:16

People should follow rules, but it is a ridiculous rule!

I totally agree

Unless people make their kids wear masks Michael Jackson stylee, people need to realise that cameras are everywhere anyway.

Quite apart from the amount of CCTV cameras we have in this country, every park and beach will have people with camera phones.

Original poster
CurlyBoy · 10/01/2012 21:17

Well good for you Bluddy Maybe it should cross your mind.

I didn't actually post this to debate wether or not the rule was "right" or not, but when the rule is there people should abide by it or go elsewhere.

OP posts:
canyou · 10/01/2012 21:18

Sorry pippin baba on lap and it posted too early I have the rest of the post another post saying a public area park etc will not identify our school and address so would not object to someone taking the pictures there I might not like it but the risk is minimum and as was said there is always a risk

Original poster
CurlyBoy · 10/01/2012 21:21

Robinredboobs - I can't remember what thread it was on but a family lawyer posted a chain of events that shows how using Google and a few scraps of info someone led a violent deranged father find and snatch his kids.

As I said in previous posts, it's about managing risk. I have chosen to go to a place that has banned photos and feel the rule should be upheld by everyone.

OP posts:
Whatmeworry · 10/01/2012 21:21

I didn't actually post this to debate wether or not the rule was "right" or not, but when the rule is there people should abide by it or go elsewhere.

I think the reality is that:

(i) I think you will find that most people will ignore it, as it is daft, and the staff won't willingly enforce it as they don't want to piss off the majority of customers.

(ii) The risk of those photographs is IMO less than the many that may be taken walking around in public.

(iii) Get a batman suit or spidey suit.

BluddyMoFo · 10/01/2012 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
CurlyBoy · 10/01/2012 21:24

Whatmeworry - The staff DID enforce it by making an announcement and said if they continue to let them know and they'd be asked to leave.

OP posts:
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