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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that I now know why the bloody cats ended up in the cat home to begin with!?

124 replies

BandOMothers · 09/01/2012 19:53

We adpoted 2 Siamese brothers aged 6 about 9 months ago...LOVE them both...they're gorgous . BUT one of them keeps pissing on our bed and on DDs bed. He's a pissy panted little shithead and I am THIS close to handing him back!

He has been to the vet incase there was something wrong...no...all fine...he has been given a beautiful litter tray with door all of his own and has the best litter in it....his brother has his own tray too and has no problem going in it. Both trays are changed regularly.

Both of them eat the same food and have plenty of water...they have a daily constitutional in the garden and a lot of love. So why does the little urinator keep on pissing where he shouldn't??? I just bought a new duvet the other day and it's too big for the washing machine!

I have washed the pissy part with very hot water and bio stuff...and it now smells fine and is hanging over the radiator...WHAT CAN I DO???? I am asking here as the litter tray is full of people saying "Get Feliway"

No. I won't buy bloody Feliway....He's a mickey taking little craphead and I have spent enough money on his bladder. NO. AIBU to give him back? I cant and wont give hime back really but just need to vent and hope some advice comes my way.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 10/01/2012 01:58

The thing is, though, Methe, that people make a commitment when they becomes owners of an animal - a moral and now a legal one - to look after their welfare.

I think it's really crucial that people don't take on ownership of a pet lightly, and understand how they would feel if something goes wrong. If more people were as honest with themselves you are before they took on a cat or dog, and it put them off pet ownership, that actually might not be a bad thing.

There's too much romantic drivel about puppies and kittens, and not enough harsh reality about vet bills and toilet nightmares. You have to be prepared to take (and pay for) the rough with the smooth.

spiderslegs · 10/01/2012 02:07

Noo - they were too young to be neutered

Bogeyface · 10/01/2012 02:15

But they arent now, so why didnt you get them done?

spiderslegs · 10/01/2012 02:18

I got them at six weeks

Bogeyface · 10/01/2012 02:19

Line I saw Stacey thingy (Iceland bird, did X factor according to the kids) on A League Of Their Own the other night. She quite cheerfully said that she left her boxer dog at her boyfriends parents house because he got on her nerves. She said he was a really cute puppy but grew ("into a dog?????!" - James Corden) and she didnt want him anymore so she left him there. All the others there were disgusted and .... cant remember her name but Ant/Decs Ex, was appalled and said "so you just dumped him?".

I genuinely dont think she got it, but hopefully that did alot of the "not just for Xmas" campaign.

Bogeyface · 10/01/2012 02:19

how old are they now Spider?

LineRunner · 10/01/2012 02:52

Stacey Solomon, Bogey. No longer in the running for Dogs' Trust poster girl, presumably. Bloody hell.

whomovedmychocolate · 10/01/2012 06:13

Surprised she didn't give it to Iceland to make vol au vents with!

Original poster
BandOMothers · 10/01/2012 07:46

methe wtf mentioned shitting in beds? My cat does not shit...it pisses thank you very much.

OP posts:
Animation · 10/01/2012 08:00

First off - keep him out of the bedrooms.

Catsmamma · 10/01/2012 08:11

all I can say really is what has all ready been covered

a minimum of litter tray each PLUS a spare, i have three cats, bloody littertrays in every bastard corner

try different litters, one of mine will ONLY pee on the pink gravelly stuff, and not the clumpy stuff either, she also likes to pee in sinks.

keep the doors closed!

oh and can you put something over the bad for a bit....like one of those emergency foil blankets....cats don't like to walk on crackly things so that might be a bit of aversion therapy. ....might freak him out even further but who knows!

Catsmamma · 10/01/2012 08:12

over the BED, not the bad!

Bogeyface · 10/01/2012 09:22

Stacey Solomon, thats it. It was very interesting to see the genuine looks of disgust on the other guests faces, but it totally passed her by!

OP, have you thought of getting those spring loaded door shutting devices? We used to have one on the kids door when we first moved in, we took it off as we didnt need it but it was simple enough. Something like this www.diy.com/nav/build/doors-windows/door-furniture-accessories/door-security/door_closers/Briton-Door-Closer-Sprayed-Silver-Effect-9276919

Original poster
BandOMothers · 10/01/2012 09:31

I do keep doors shut but the dc leave them open...anyone with dc knows the struggle! bogey I don't know if theyre safe for smaller kids are they? I have a 3 year old

OP posts:
Original poster
BandOMothers · 10/01/2012 09:33

Dh keeps going on thaat we should rehome the pee ridden cat but I just think it's disgustng the way people do that....I love him fgs. I'm not giving him away!

OP posts:
BlackCatsAndPurpleDogs · 10/01/2012 09:55

To go back to the mutual grooming you mentioned - its significant- yrs ago I was told by an RSPCA behaviourist, can't remember which way round it goes but either the groomer or the groomee can be saying a lot about their feelings towards each other. Do they BOTH groom/let the other groom them?

Any behaviourists here to explain?

DoesNotGiveAFig · 10/01/2012 10:24

Bogey I think that poster got kittens at 6 weeks and you can't get em 'done' til 6 months.

HazleNutt · 10/01/2012 10:34

we had this problem with one of our cats. she was peeing on the sofa almost daily, sometimes also on the bed. tried everything. only thing that helped was to give her free access outdoors - they could go in and out before, but that was not enough apparently. Since we installed the catdoor, we have not had any accidents. But I understand that this is not always possible.

spiderslegs · 10/01/2012 10:41

Bogey, they are now five months & off to the vet's tomorrow.

DoesNotGiveAFig · 10/01/2012 10:43

Cats don't like menthol. Maybe some olbas oil on your bed after using proper cleaning agents might help to deter it.

pranma · 10/01/2012 10:45

I have two tonkinese and they will only use wood chip litter-they have to have a tray each and boy cat will only poo outside in our roses. Girl cat comes inside for all matters lavatorial. Both are very clean so no help except to say that orientals are very very temperamental but wonderful pets so worth persevering. I think pissy puss needs to be kept out of bedrooms though. It sounds as if he is marking his territory. Has the vet checked to see that the neutering was complete? If a bit is left it can cause some hormonal confusion :-)

DorisVinyard · 10/01/2012 10:58

I suspect your cats are not the great mates you think. Also, do they go outside? Why don't you try putting the dominant (non-pissing) one in a cattery for a couple of weeks and see if there is any difference?

DorisVinyard · 10/01/2012 10:59

Also, neuter them both if they are not already due to dominance issues.

TurkeyBurgerThing · 10/01/2012 11:13

Our cat is very similar. Got 2 from the cat home and one used to spray like a fucker everywhere it was vile. We moved house and the pissing stopped and then sadly our other cat was run over. He's had no problem since.

We've had no pissing (that I've discovered!) since BUT when the weather is bad he will shit on the beds if I don't make sure that all doors are shut all the time. He's a lazy little ginger fucker.

I think with prolific pissers it's a long and frustrating thing to sort out and I also like you think that's exactly why he was sent to the cat home in the first place.

cozietoesie · 10/01/2012 11:45

Well, BOM, I can only give you the benefit of many many years of experience with Siamese. You've had some great suggestions for solutions but IME, nearly all male Siamese are only really happy when they're 'only male/cat'. (They then choose a person in the household to be their person and bond with them.) They're, and perhaps surprisingly, often fine with dogs - tend to treat them disdainfully, rather like a muddy schoolboy - but bring another cat or particularly another male cat on to the scene and 'Hello Trouble'. They may be neutered but they can tell.

You just have to keep a weather eye on the Homes Wanted on some of the Siamese rescue sites to see:

'Needs to be only cat'
'Might possibly be rehomed with a female'
Needs to be only cat'....
Needs to be only cat
.........

And so on. It's the breed.

You've got one, possibly two, unsettled and anxious cats there and while you might give all the suggestions the Old College Try, it may come down in the end to there being two male Siamese in the house - and one might have to go. I'd start mulling that over. I know it would be hateful to you to let one go to another home but you have to think about whether you want to keep a cat for another - say - 10 years which isn't happy. Even the most settled and happy neutered male can have the odd bit of bad temper IME (if you've done something to annoy them) but the behaviour you describe sounds like there's something structurally wrong in the house.

There was a suggestion above about trying one cat out in a cattery for a fortnight. Myself, I don't like catteries for Siamese - except in a dire emergency (that's just personal: I'm sure there are some good ones) - but if the size and layout of the house permits, you might well try separating them out for a few weeks if nothing else works. I received the impression (could be wrong) that the naughty cat is a house cat so you might try keeping him upstairs (with lots of love and you lying in bed reading and cuddling a lot if you can) and his brother given downstairs and outside. It's not a permanent solution but could give you an indication of where any trouble lies.

By the way, if the bad cat starts yowling for his brother, remember that it could be just 'Has that blighter gone yet?' rather than 'Where's my darling Bro?'. Being a litter brother doesn't mean they have to really like each other - even breeders generally keep their males in separate quarters to avoid serious squabbles.

Good luck anyway.