Not to want a complete stranger in our spare room for 2 weeks

[soandsosmummy]

DP told me this morning that someone new is starting at work with him on Wednesday and that as he's yet to find somewhere to live he's said they can stay with us for couple of weeks while he looks for a place.

AIBU to be completely pissed off especially as DP seems to think that we should treat them as a guest for this time and cook and eat with them as well as doing their bl**dy laundry.

DP can not understand just why I'm not happy about the idea and thinks its just the kind and sociable thing to do. At the moment all I know is they are male and nothing else about them

Apparantly he's turning up tomorrow evening

My husband wouldn't do this thankfully. He would tell someone he'd discuss it with me. We both work though and he does half (ish) the housework.
Inviting someone for 2 weeks is treating you like his housekeeper. He can play Mr magnanimous whilst you cook and clear up.
The letter is nice but I would want it understood he is there for a maximum of 2 weeks and is expected to help with housework and cooking.

The e-mail sounds lovely - but, he is still a stranger. I would feel uncomfortable enough having him in the house, leaving him to babysit? Not on your life. I would be so angry if my DH did this.

Crikey. My DP would never dare extend an overnight invitation to anyone without passing it by me first (and the same goes for me) but, more importantly, my DP would never dream of letting me sleep under the same roof as another lone man if he were away. It is quite beyond his French male ego mindset!

Well, he sounds lovely. But your husband should have asked you first! I made sure I cleared it with my OH before my best mate stayed with us after splitting up with her boyfriend, so I would definitely not invite a stranger, however young and vulnerable, without asking!

I agree with AgentProvocateur:

"I'd like tobthink that if it was my 18 year old in his first job away from home that someone would take him under their wing and help him get settled."

Why is everyone on here so paranoid?

First off, I would be very unhappy if my DP invited anyone to stay over with discussion with me. And vice versa. Even if we have old friends to stay for a night, it's just basic courtesy to check that nothing else is planned etc.

Secondly, I would be unhappy at having a complete stranger stay in my house with the kids, or even with me (if DP was going not going to be there). It's not paranoia, and it's highly unlikely that anything improper would happen, but occasionally they do. One of my siblings runs a B&B and has young kids - their family accommodation is separate from that of paying guests and the kids' bedroom door not accessible from the guest-side of the property. So clearly I am not the only person to consider the safety of children with regard to strangers in the house.

I also think the poster who wrote that this level of socialising might put the new employee in a difficult position at work in some way, and that any decent employer would help someone moving to the area with a couple of weeks' accommodation at the very least.

Hes here. He's lovey.

So far he's turned up with a big bunch of flowers and box of food, cooked a meal, made up his own bed, charmed DD into introducing all her moshi monsters to him, washed up the saucepans and is now looking on the internet for local properties for rent.

I think it may work. He's got younger siblings aged 14, 9 and 7 and says his mum worked full time so he's used to helping.

It may work out.

Still cross with DP though but its not this young mans fault

Legallyblond - you're not married to DP on the quiet are you - your dh sounds exactly like him

Good form with the update OP Glad it seems to be working out so far :)

Don't worry won't be leaving DD alone with him by the way though based on what I've seen don't think it would e a problem but you can not tell

Glad it seems to be working out.
You sound lovely too, OP!

YANBU to not want him there and your OH should have asked first.

This is the kind of thing I can imagine my OH doing. I wouldn't worry about serious weirdo stuff (ie. murdering you in your beds etc) but would be put out by the awkwardness and extra work.

I'd make it clear that he knows where the machine is so he can put a load in himself as I would NOT do his laundry but I think I'd cook for him and maybe ask him to lay the table or things like that so he knows to help out a bit.

Not having him at the weekend makes it better, I think!

Hope it goes ok!

ooops, missed the update - glad all is well!

He sounds really nice. Good that he is obviously very appreciative. Bet you feel good for helping him out!

I think I am hormonal at the moment because I welled up a bit when I thought how nice it would be if my DS could grow up to be so polite. I'm a weirdo.

I'd still be annoyed with your DP though!

Aye but is he good looking?

I've been lurking, but just wanted to say that although I think you're entitled to be annoyed with your DP (I would be!), it's also a really kind thing to do to have this guy (kid!) to stay. And he sounds very sweet.

If he carries on like this you won't want to let him leave