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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

The OFFICIAL AIBU buddy bench/naughty bench thread NO 7

995 replies

ElmoFan · 08/01/2012 16:44

Come hither all those who haven't found their place on mumsnet, have scrapped in Aibu or crossed words in chat. The buddy bench shalt not judge.

The buddy bench will hand out wine and cakes, it will join you on your scoffathons getting pissed

All those who sit on the bench, will have their sins erased and be given a warm welcome and cheerful chat from CheerfulYank, gomummy, tiredmum, teaandcake, valiumredhead and far, far too many more to mention.

Welcome to the buddy bench, we look forward to meeting you all

Oh and don't forget, last one to leave polishes bench and locks up!

OP posts:
gomummygo · 21/01/2012 21:41

Cheerful - no it's not (legally) mandatory until the year they're 5, but if we might want to send him this year he has to register now for this year's intake. Education is provincially run and varies dramatically between the provinces, and then even moreso within individual boards in each province. There is very little consistency at all.

An hour each way is optomistic actually. When I was in elementary school I spent a couple of hours each way on the bus. The bus was a whole separate life, iykwim!

I'm glad to hear you say that you wouldn't enrol him yet Tea as I know you have experience with DD starting at the same age (just four), and yes I do have a choice for one more year. He will be just five when it becomes mandatory next year.

Elmo, homeschooling here is always a bit of a battle, but a LOT of people do it, so there are a lot of resources and groups, etc. I really want to do it, if things work out for us that way. I bet your DD was much "older" at 4y8m than at 4y, iykwim? That's part of what drives me mad about having to register so far in advance - he changes so much from month to month, it's hard to know what he'll be like in six months! At least your days are significantly shorter though, I think that's much more reasonable.

I must say a huge thank you Thanks to you all. I knew what I wanted but was uncertain about it maybe just being because of some biases I have, you have all helped me enormously to make the decision to keep him at home until next year.

CheerfulYank · 21/01/2012 21:48

I don't think you'll regret it! I was sure I would send DS at 5 but then though...you know what, no. He's little, it's a long day, he will be one of the youngest by far. There's no rush!

CheerfulYank · 21/01/2012 21:50

I always forget that DS and your DD are so close in age Tea. About a week apart I think. :)

gomummygo · 21/01/2012 21:57

I really think you're right, Cheerful, that I won't regret it.

I didn't know your DCs were so close in age! I would so love it if somehow we could all get together for a massive bench playdate! Maybe we could meet halfway on a cruise ship.... Grin

CheerfulYank · 21/01/2012 22:03

Ah, that would be marvelous! :) DS loves everyone and would have a blast.

Teaandcakeplease · 21/01/2012 22:06

If the school is that far away, how do they organise parents evenings or similar? How would you get to know the teacher. You'd have to trust DS to tell you everything wouldn't you? You wouldn't see anything with your own eyes iyswim? Sad I'm so protective of my little munchkin and I would find that sort of situation much harder. I can chat to her teacher everyday after school if I was worried face to face and I get to know the other mums and see how the children play with her. I got the measure of one girl fairly quickly and I'm very grateful she doesn't have to sit on a bus with her everyday.

It all seems so much harder over there, or maybe it's just different? Wink

CheerfulYank · 21/01/2012 22:10

We were only about ten miles from school growing up, but the bus ride was very long because it had to pick up fifty other children. So it could be that...

Teaandcakeplease · 21/01/2012 22:14

If I could get a cheap flight and it wasn't a massive drive I'd love to just stay for a weekend with either of you across the ponds

Teaandcakeplease · 21/01/2012 22:15

Gah! "pond"

gomummygo · 21/01/2012 22:25

Tea yes it's quite different to there (I'd MUCH prefer your system!!!!!), yes I'd have to trust DS to tell me everything. Schools are that far away for most people because of our geography. (Although it's the complete opposite in the large urban centres). You don't get to know the teacher. Parents evenings are once or twice a year, you get a time slot and line up in a big room and wait for your 15 minute meeting. You communicate mostly through the child's agenda book. On "report cards" teachers don't even write their own comments anymore - they select from a pre-coded list, the comment which most appropriately applies to your child in each area!!!

Sort of like Cheerful, the bus ride is made much longer by picking up so many other children. The bus that goes by your house may be used by several schools (elementary, high school, and also schools in other boards within your area). For efficiency cost savings, the boards often form transportation consortiums to share a single route and pick up all the children along the way.

Having said that, where I grew up we all had to be driven to the nearest bus stop and were still a couple hour bus ride. Had you driven the bus ride in the car with no stops it would only have been about 45 minutes for me, but I was much closer than many.

To be fair though, it is a brutal drive in the winter and I take my hat off to anyone who chooses to drive a school bus.

gomummygo · 21/01/2012 22:29

We could avoid the drive part by Cheerful and I heading for the east coast, but we'll need a bit of a head start! Can I entice you to PEI Cheerful? Grin

gomummygo · 21/01/2012 22:43

Sorry, read that back, sounded unfair. The whole picture---Transportation costs are one of the greatest challenges facing rural school boards. The funding models just don't fit with the distances we have, lack of population, etc. It is among the most significant costs in a board's budget each year. They have to do what they can to mitigate it.

CheerfulYank · 22/01/2012 01:54

Oh you could indeed! :o I'd love to see the Island.

That is one of things I like about our school...it's about two blocks away. And I know all the teachers since I work there. I will actually trust DS to walk there himself at six, because I can watch him from the corner and see him cross with the patrol kids.

Tiredmumno1 · 22/01/2012 14:11

Well I didn't win the lottery so no booking flights Sad actually would help if I did the lottery Grin

Dh will be changing jobs next month so I will have to send the kids by taxi to school Sad but I don't really have any other choices, I am going to learn to drive ASAP might make things easier eh.

valiumredhead · 22/01/2012 14:46

Afternoon peeps :)

Tiredmumno1 · 22/01/2012 15:55

Hiya Valium Wink how's things?

valiumredhead · 22/01/2012 16:17

Alright ta, how are you?

Tiredmumno1 · 22/01/2012 16:26

Not to bad, having a nightmare with ds1 and ds2 and the behaviour but it changes today no more getting away with what they want.

Sometimes this house can be mayhem, so it needs a change. They will have to start listening now, no more treats and doing what they want, they end up running this house, we have had enough.

Sorry having a mini rant Grin

CheerfulYank · 22/01/2012 17:19

I'm right there with ya, Tiredmum ! DS has been, tbh, a total brat lately and I have had it.

Tiredmumno1 · 22/01/2012 17:25

It's so hard isn't it cheerful, I tell ya I feel like pulling my hair out sometimes, I think you hit the nail on the head they are behaving like spoilt brats, well no more, this mum is no longer a push over Angry

Original poster
ElmoFan · 22/01/2012 18:43

Oh god i'm right there with you both today :( DD is in one of her " i'll scream & scream & scream " moods . Can't wait until bedtime tbh . She's over tired (up at 6am the last few mornings) and cranky and refusing to take her antibiotics Grrrrrrrrrr . Wine ?

OP posts:
gomummygo · 22/01/2012 20:52

That sounds lovely Cheerful, to be so close to the school and know all his teachers! Envy but :) for you, that would make it much easier I imagine.

Good luck on the new job to your DH, Tiredmum!

Grin
CheerfulYank · 23/01/2012 16:58

Ugh. Just taking a math test with my student. SO DISCOURAGING!

We've been working so hard, and then the question "If there are seven crayons and seven students, how many crayons does each student get" comes along and she's completely stumped! :( I'm not as concerned with her having a great grasp on actual facts, as that will come in time, but we've been working so hard on what the "logical" answer means, and how to look for it. :(

Oh well. I promised DS we'd make spaghetti and hot dog "squids" for dinner and he's super excited, so that's something to look forward to. :o

Tiredmumno1 · 23/01/2012 17:03

Aww cheerful don't feel to down about it Sad

We're having hot dogs tonight, although I have no idea what a hot dog squid is Grin

CheerfulYank · 23/01/2012 17:16

You cut the hot dog into pieces and then stick the pieces through with uncooked spaghetti noodles. Then boil. :) They come out looking like squids! I'll link a pic later because I don't know how on the school computer. I'm still at work Blush

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