The OFFICIAL AIBU buddy bench/naughty bench thread NO 7

[ElmoFan]

Come hither all those who haven't found their place on mumsnet, have scrapped in Aibu or crossed words in chat. The buddy bench shalt not judge.

The buddy bench will hand out wine and cakes, it will join you on your scoffathons getting pissed

All those who sit on the bench, will have their sins erased and be given a warm welcome and cheerful chat from CheerfulYank, gomummy, tiredmum, teaandcake, valiumredhead and far, far too many more to mention.

Welcome to the buddy bench, we look forward to meeting you all

Oh and don't forget, last one to leave polishes bench and locks up!

Thanks ladies, I just didn't want to unload my crap on you. I just feel like I want to run away sometimes, like I said, there just feels like so much is going on, Elmo I am not really ok I hate feeling like this, I just want someone to make everything feel ok, what the hell is the matter with me

Glad you have got another car Elmo, and that your dd is back at school, I bet she is happy

Oh tiredmum :( i'm here if you need to unload Xxxxx

I'd really like you to bore me with the details actually Elmo Last I heard the crankshaft had gone through the engine and you were hoping to get the dealer to fix it, as it was a well known design fault on that car. Tell me more about how you got this new car!

And Tiredmum I like to think the buddy bench is a safe place to share. If if helps to talk. Please do on here. I would find things terribly hard in your situation (())

My dad appears to have disowned me But my mum and I have resolved things. Drama drama drama.

ExH had the kids all of yesterday and I ate pizza and watched movies. What a bum First time he has ever had them that long. Would like to have seen fwb but he had too much on.

Ok here goes tea

well i had the car towed to a K## Dealer last Monday morning , they said straight away that the warranty was up on it so they were not entitled to offer me any compensation etc but they offered to send off a letter requesting a "good will" gesture from their HO considering it only had 16,000 miles on the clock , but HO refused any offers straight away :( They said i could leave the car there while i got legal advice for a couple of days . So i rang citizens advice & they said that "forums on the net" won't stand up against the main dealers as anyone can have a gripe about poor service and complain on the net
i really thought that would have helped my case tbh :(
So we went back to the K## Dealer and the manager told me my choice was to pay ?2.500 to have the damage to my engine repaired or pay ? 5,000 for a new engine or they would give me ?1,500 off a new car if i scrapped my own one. So seeing as we had borrowed my dads car & my uncle is dying in hospital over the other side of the city my parents were getting 2 buses over to see him i felt terrible , so i took the ?1,500 off the new car and gave my dad back his car . The manager in the K## dealer was nice , he was disgusted that HO wouldn't offer me anything extra off a new car & gave me their number to try phoning them myself , but when i did ring they were rude to me so i let rip on the phone to them and i told them i would drag their name through the mud after what has happened to my car .
I could post more details on FB in chat & show you what new car is etc actually i've learned a lot about cars this week , the engine off my old car is also the same engine used in another make of car :O , useful to know what cars to avoid in the future

Tiredmum - How are you feeling lovely ? you would be very welcome to come visit me for a few days & rest up anytime ( i promise it's not so i can get lots of baby Jamie cuddles ) sounds like your worn out xxxx

Thanks Ladies for being here, tea it really is difficult, I just feel like I am at the end of my tether, I am a terrible mum I really am, I can't help but feel if I just walked out and carried in walking everything will just go away my head can't take it ta for the offer Elmo I would probably never leave if I came there xxx

You are a fab mum . We all get moments like this when we feel overwhelmed with kids , house , life in general lovely your not on your own :( would it help to talk it out on FB chat ?

The more down I feel, the more crap a parent I think I am. But naturally when down I do not have the energy and patience that I would when happy, but I do my best. You are being very hard on yourself love. Do you think it is just circumstances or do you think a chat with the GP might be a good idea? I was on ADs for a year and they are bloody marvellous! Signs of depression:

being restless and agitated
waking up early, having difficulty sleeping, or sleeping more
feeling tired and lacking energy; doing less and less
using more tobacco, alcohol or other drugs than usual
not eating properly and losing or putting on weight
crying a lot
difficulty remembering things
physical aches and pains with no physical cause
feeling low-spirited for much of the time, every day
being unusually irritable or impatient
getting no pleasure out of life or what you usually enjoy
losing interest in your sex life
finding it hard to concentrate or make decisions
blaming yourself and feeling unnecessarily guilty about things
lacking self-confidence and self-esteem
being preoccupied with negative thoughts
feeling numb, empty and despairing
feeling helpless
distancing yourself from others; not asking for support
taking a bleak, pessimistic view of the future
experiencing a sense of unreality
self-harming (by cutting yourself, for example)
thinking about suicide.

If you can tick more than 5 here, see your GP lovely lady.

You are a lovely mum! I hate that you're feeling like this Tired. :(

What are the pros and cons to the special needs school?

Sorry I can't post too much, I have a particularly wicked case of strep and have been down and out all weekend.

Be back later. :)

tired I'm sorry you are having such a crap time love

I have no useful advice except to reassure you that splitting the boys up so they go to different school may not be such a bad thing. My sister and I were very close but always went to different schools, I didn't question it until very recently, it was just one of those things when we were kids.

Why would the special needs school be a bad thing? It must be very hard for him to be in mainstream school if he needs extra care/help. The classes would be so much smaller presumably so he would get the extra attention he needs.

Off load here as much/little as you want xxx

yanky hope you feel better soon :)

Do you know I almost lost for words you ladies are so nice. I tried being happy on here on another thread I posted once, but even that didn't cheer me up, I really an trying to pick myself up, it's causing no end of problems in my relationship. However we have now moved on a little we had a meeting at the school with the education person, to discuss the special needs school, they just like to be difficult

So like I said before this school won't hold him back, so we phoned a middle school and try we're actually honest and said they couldn't cater for his needs, at long last a bit of honesty, so it's almost like he was in limbo that they didn't like the idea of him going to the special needs school, but on the other hand the middle schools can't give him what he needs.

So the only other option was to grovel back to his old school, and she has said she will be more than happy to have the boys back, so Joshua will be kept back a year, just like the original plans, so I think that's the road we're going down.

Still don't feel much better about everything, I am sure I will get there, funny me needs to come back. Tea thank you for putting that up, I know what you are saying, I just don't want to be on AD's right now, that's why I am trying I really am can I give you all a hug xx

On my way to bed, I will try and respond better tomorrow but just to say St Johns Wort can help. You could buy some of that at Holland and Barrett. It can interfere with the pill though. Tbh ADs were the best thing and I came off them carefully with the GPs support after a year and it was no problem at all for me. But I too didn't want to go on them.

Hugs right back at you. :) sorry you're feeling like this.

I hope things go well at his new/old school. Wish I could fly over and be his 1:1 for a bit, I really do. Professional Cheerful puts up with no crap, I tells ya. :)

I hope tomorrow looks bit brighter. We're always here for you!

MOrning :)

Glad you've come to a decision tired, not surprised you are feeling low, anything to do with ds's school really brings me down. Don't let yourself feel low for too long though. and I agree with tea SJW is very good - but not if you are on the pill!

Raining AGAIN here

Thanks for your support I should remember to just come to you lot first I am doing ok, at least I have managed to smile and crack a joke, that's always a good thing

And I will talk to you if and when I need to instead of bottling everything up

On another note DS1 was given an iPod shuffle for perfect attendance no one else got one except him

I hope you are all well yourselves x

Oh wow tired our kids get a 2 quid voucher for WH Smiths tight wads!

Well done him

Valium, I couldn't believe it, although DS2 was a little unimpressed that he only got a trophy maybe it's just the older ones that would get one if they turn up everyday

Happy anniversary Elmo.

Oh and May the 4th be with you!

at May the 4th.

Not much new on my end. Going to try to redo my bedroom a bit. It's become a dumping ground while I redo all the other rooms, instead of a place DH and I actually want to spend time in! :)

LOL :) tea Thanks xx we had a lovely meal out , and champagne when we got home

How is everyone ? x

Oh yes, Happy Anniversary! Glad you got to do something fun! :)

Thanks cheerful xx How are you ?

Good thanks. :)

Just working on the house...my two best friends are coming to sleep over on Friday for an early birthday celebration, so I'm hoping to have lots of things done by then.

Hello benchers, sorry I am neglecting you all! How's everyone? :) x