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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if DH is going to spend in excess of half an hour laying a brown cable, he might give us some warning?

112 replies

BupcakesandCunting · 07/01/2012 19:29

Plaiting my legs here.

DH went up for what I now know must be a monumental turd at 1900 hours. Gave no warning, didn;t say "do you need the bathroom before I plant my arse on the porcelain throne for half an hour?" Just goes in and doesn't emerge for ages.

I need a wee something rotten. He should give warning, right?

OP posts:
GeekLove · 07/01/2012 23:10

I used to be a shit wido too when I was with Annoying X (AX). Thing was he went about 4-5 times a day and took forever. He also used to cough to mask the sound of any plopping. And if you where in a hurry he was guarenteed to need a poo. We used to say 'here is the 9.00 Poos with your host AX. Reporting from the bog roll crisis zone'.

fit2drop · 07/01/2012 23:10

Fellatio
That has got to be the funniest most cringeworthy crying with laughter here moment I have had on any forum I have been on EVER!!!

GeekLove · 07/01/2012 23:13

bupcakes but has he finished now?

Original poster
BupcakesandCunting · 07/01/2012 23:17

Just about...

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 07/01/2012 23:25

I've heard before about the prostate thing giving some men a special moment. Made me heave, I mean to say, feels relief after they have been desperate for the loo and finally been able to go. But that is a "thank fuck for that" moment not an "ooooooohhhhh maaaaatron" moment! Its official, all men a WEIRD.

Bogeyface · 07/01/2012 23:25

are weird

Bogeyface · 07/01/2012 23:26

Arrgh everyone feels relief

solidgoldbrass · 07/01/2012 23:32

What a lovely thread. Almost makes me feel less traumatized by the FB 'friend' whose DD did a poo in her potty that was the shape of a turtle. We all know this as said friend was so proud of it that he took a photo and posted in on Facebook. Which I like to check at breakfast time

QuintessentiallyShallow · 07/01/2012 23:34

I would have thought you would be into this kind of thing, solid? Wink

TheWisdomOfSolomum · 07/01/2012 23:36

"I thought as much. I'd rather use my loo brush and lick it afterwards than do that"

FFS Bupcakes I just pissed myself reading that. And there's no-one in my toilet.

TheWisdomOfSolomum · 07/01/2012 23:39

Fellatio Shock Grin

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 07/01/2012 23:46

If it makes you feel any better Fellatio, my 8 inch, bright pink vibrating dildo clunked my plumber on the head when he manfully moved my wardrobe dislodging my ' not for small eyes ' box.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 07/01/2012 23:47

And I never did find that bullet, I imagine it under the floorboards somewhere being used in rat fetish movies from time to time Hmm

CointreauVersial · 07/01/2012 23:57

Spat my wine all over the keyboard at this thread.Grin

To the poster who suggested weeing in the compost bin - don't. I lifted the lid on mine today, and there was a mouse sitting there.

Alicious · 08/01/2012 00:01

:) :) :)

I did a poo in the stockroom at my old work on my first day-so desperate to go that I didn't even shut the door. After a leisurely wipe and a nice sit down I realised that the neurotic boss's security camera was directly opposite, blinking away and filming my nethers...didn't stay too long in that job.

Also thought I had managed a stealth wee (desperate times etc) in DS's spare nappy in my car in an airport carpark-I was never going to make it to the terminal was positively bursting-and got very funny looks from the people trying to park beside me when they realised what I was up to-I've never told anyone about that one...

rhondajean · 08/01/2012 00:06

Is that true about the poo and prostate thing?

ZacharyQuack · 08/01/2012 00:15

Alicious - do you mean that you pooed at work in a room that did not contain a toilet? If I was your boss I would have fired you for that.

Fo0ffyShmo0ffer · 08/01/2012 00:21

Just asked DH about the prostate thing as in " come on fess up is it a bit special?

His reply " is it bollocks! It's the only time we get any fucking peace that's why"

Alicious · 08/01/2012 00:24

Nooo! It was in a toilet I promise!

ViviPru · 08/01/2012 00:34

There was a toilet in your stockroom? Were you working in Plumbase at the time Confused

Alicious · 08/01/2012 00:36

Tiny little clothes shop on the ground floor-stockroom was the flat abouve the shop-so a couple of rooms and the toilet of shame.

ViviPru · 08/01/2012 00:40

Ah I see, just the way you said it sounded like you did the poo on a throne in the stockroom itself rather than in a cubicle off it...

Bogeyface · 08/01/2012 00:51

Just asked H and he said that there is no prostate issues for him, he just likes a "bit of a think" :o

Having a #2 is known as "going for a think" in our house and whilst I will go in and do the necessary and leave, he clearly takes it literally!

ViviPru · 08/01/2012 00:53

Ha! Its "going for a think" chez VP too, Bogey Smile

solidgoldbrass · 08/01/2012 00:53

Which MNer was it who shoved a clove of garlic up her choccy starfish and then stank the workplace loo out to the point that they had to call a nuclear decontamination squad or something?